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Neither of you are innocent. Yes, he way overreacted. No one is disagreeing with that. But, you flaked out 3 hours before the date. You may not think that's last minute, but 3 hours isn't exactly a whole lot of time. If that were me, I would have just moved on. No argument, blow up, or going apesh*t. Just move on. Flakiness to me is a dealbreaker, regardless of the reason. There's many fish in the sea.
The guy overreacted and is a tool himself. I'm not disagreeing with that, nor is anyone else. But you are just as guilty for flaking.
This is how I see it too. You ended up playing the 'who can be ruder game'. Not good.
A simple: 'A family emergency has come up and I will not be able to make it tonight. I am so sorry to have to cancel last minute, but hope you understand and we can reschedule some time soon. Are you available on Friday or Saturday?'
Would have covered it. He is not a mind reader. He is not in your head. 3 hours before IS pretty last minute. He does not know that if you hadn't been interested you would have just texted. Try thinking things through from other view points. Seriously if you listened without getting defensive you may actually find you have better luck communicating pleasantly with the next one!
3 hours is NOT last minute. Are you kidding me? 30 minutes is. Again, even if Iwanted to offer him an explanation, he completely started attacking me verbally and I couldn't even get a word in except for my last sentence saying buy bye before I hung up. And again, I did offer to reschedule so I don't understand why everyone keeps saying I didn't.
Neither of you are innocent. Yes, he way overreacted. No one is disagreeing with that. But, you flaked out 3 hours before the date. You may not think that's last minute, but 3 hours isn't exactly a whole lot of time. If that were me, I would have just moved on. No argument, blow up, or going apesh*t. Just move on. Flakiness to me is a dealbreaker, regardless of the reason. There's many fish in the sea.
The guy overreacted and is a tool himself. I'm not disagreeing with that, nor is anyone else. But you are just as guilty for flaking.
Sorry if I'm "flaking" to spend an evening with my very sick mother rather than meet a complete stranger who I can easily rearrage to in two days, then so be it.
your first mistake was responding to his initial text.
your second mistake was carrying on any type of conversation with him at all. You do not need to defend your decision. It is apparent that this man has some pretty serious emotional issues.
I would strongly suggest that you do not respond to him further under any circumstances. *If* he threatens you in any way, whatsoever contact the authorities.
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
9,516 posts, read 20,003,071 times
Reputation: 9418
Quote:
Originally Posted by himain
WTF is going on here??
So I sent an email to a guy yesterday saying exactly this: Hey you. I saw your profile and was interetsted. I don't have exactly what you are looking for but I thought I'd drop you a line anyways. So is Match as exciting for you as it has been for me? LOL (signed name) (I accidentally inserted an extra T in interested. Simple typo error that I didn't see)
This is the response I get this morning:
You should probably spell-check your copy & paste e-mail before you send it out to a bunch of people you're "interetsted" in
My response: Excuse me? Wow, I accidentally inserted a letter and you turn around an insinuate things?? Why are you even on here?
Him: I insinuated what I did because your e-mail was so blatantly generic that I'm sure it was sent to a bunch of people, typo and all. And you're absolutely right, I've resorted to internet dating because of my inability to hit it off with a cat lady/CougarLife.com reject who struggles with spelling
I didn't even respond. WTF is that??? I mean unbelievable.
The fact is, some people look only for highly educated people and figure if someone sends out a message such as yours--"anyways", typos, etc., they're either not very educated or don't care much what an impression they make. You've heard you have one chance to make a first good impression and your first impression online is the written word. However, maybe he's fed up with certain types of responses and lost his patience, but his response didn't deserve a rebuttal. I'd have just moved on quietly.
Yeah it is. Further, if you actually were interested in meeting the guy, you would have told your mother you had plans, sick or not. He was a dick for acting like an idiot, but he's probably better off as you break plans at the drop of a hat. "Come eat dinner with us" is not a family emergency, you're allowed to have a life.
You're single because you justify your inconsiderate behavior.
Sorry if I'm "flaking" to spend an evening with my very sick mother rather than meet a complete stranger who I can easily rearrage to in two days, then so be it.
You weren't flaking, but most guys who have heard the whole "something else came up" line will think you're flaking. If I were this guy and you said "I'm spending time with my sick mother" I would accept that and still want to go out.
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