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How is telling someone you're spending time with a sick family member unsafe?
You never heard of the "Sick family lover killler? Oh my god, He killed like fourteen people in the "Seattle area" (Seattle,-OMG shock) for like four years who cried, suffered, and sympathized with dieing loved ones...His reasoning was that he was jealous because he had no emotions and couldn't care for his own dieing mother....
Geesh, Can't believe you never heard of him....
No seriously, this is true. Really, it is. Would I lie? Seriously, I would not lie..
Now, I gotta go get my Ferrari out of the shop (brake pads) and make that god awful drive to my Penthouse on the upper west side...***sighs***
Outside of that...The second guy (already) was a preck...I spelled it wrong just for his sake. I'm not on a match.com so I think I'm safe..lol. I've never been on a dating site, but what is the deal with berating someone about grammar when you don't even want to date them..Sounds like (and once again,-just for him) a egotistical, arrogant jake off!
You guys are gonna love this. I swear ONLY me again!! Kinda long so enjoy!!
So I went back on Match and of course I'm getting responses from people I would NEVER consider but that goes with the game. However, a 45 yo guy who caught my eye had emailed me so I gave him my cell after a few emails and he called me yesterday morning. We had a decent conversation except he was hasseling me about my cat Anyways, we decided to meet for some drinks at 6:30. Well around 3:30 my mother (who's sick with stage 3 lung cancer) calls me and asks me if I'd like to come over and make stuffed shells with her and have dinner with my parents. So of course I'm going to spend time with my sick mother over any first date because I don't know if she'll be around next year. So I call the guy and tell him that somethings come up and ask if we could reschedule. The guy was ok with rescheduling. I said I had plans Thurs and Friday so if he wanted to get together Sat if he was available that would be great. He said that he doesn't like making plans that far ahead. He then says "When you want to go out with me, you call me" and hangs up! I call him back and asked if he hung up on me? He starts telling me I'm rude for cancelling and that obviously I'm not interested. I said "I could have texted you instead of calling you but I called you and it's 3 hours prior not 20 mins. I am interested in meeting you so that's why I asked if you would be available Saturday." Then the guy goes on a rant about how all women are selfish and I'm just the typical woman and basically berates me!! I said "Obviously this isn't going to work out and I wish you luck on Match" and hang up.
Here comes the fun part!! He starts texting me these crazy ass texts. Keep in mind this guy is a successful 45 year old.
Him: U r a joke and a liar. U r single and alone. Games and unsolicited advice unacceptable. Selfish girl bad news. U made plans break plans. U r unreliable person.
Me: What?? Do you actually speak to a woman like that and expect to get a favorable response? You're 45 and acting like this??
Him: U do not deserve any different when u r rude. U get what u give. Goes both ways and dont care. U suck. Sorry have another date tonight. U r backup dont bother me u lose rude woman
Me: I'm sorry but calling you 3 hrs to tell you I can't make it tonight and would like to reschedule is not rude. I don't know where you got your manners from but you are completely out of line.
Him: From women like u. So r u take responsbilitiy for your behavior. Works both ways.
Me: Stop texting me
Him: Yes stop texting me. U r harassing me. I have no money for u. Do not contact me again
I mean WTF??? Are you Fing kidding me??
LOL thats a funny story. Women do play a lot of communication games, so I could see why he would be upset. Even though you cancelled for good reason, He should have been expecting you to cancel the date. I think as a man that is where he made his biggest mistake actually expecting things NOT to come up for you. Well you know now he has an issue with women, doesn't really like women, just needed a woman for company. He didnt get what he wanted and put his cards on the table. He lost the game.
From his point of view, he probably thinks that when you said something came up, you had another date with a guy you preferred over him. Which is not an unreasonable thought given that you had never met in person.
That does not excuse his behaviour. It is boorish in immature.
Better luck next time, and hope your evening with your mother was enjoyable.
I totally agree with you. At 45 he should have more experience with women and should expect those kinds of curve balls. He lost his cool and should have kept his ideas about women to himself. It one thing to think something, its another to take action based on thoughts. What he should have done was called another woman or found something else to do. Basically have a life.
You guys are gonna love this. I swear ONLY me again!! Kinda long so enjoy!!
So I went back on Match and of course I'm getting responses from people I would NEVER consider but that goes with the game. However, a 45 yo guy who caught my eye had emailed me so I gave him my cell after a few emails and he called me yesterday morning. We had a decent conversation except he was hasseling me about my cat Anyways, we decided to meet for some drinks at 6:30. Well around 3:30 my mother (who's sick with stage 3 lung cancer) calls me and asks me if I'd like to come over and make stuffed shells with her and have dinner with my parents. So of course I'm going to spend time with my sick mother over any first date because I don't know if she'll be around next year. So I call the guy and tell him that somethings come up and ask if we could reschedule. The guy was ok with rescheduling. I said I had plans Thurs and Friday so if he wanted to get together Sat if he was available that would be great. He said that he doesn't like making plans that far ahead. He then says "When you want to go out with me, you call me" and hangs up! I call him back and asked if he hung up on me? He starts telling me I'm rude for cancelling and that obviously I'm not interested. I said "I could have texted you instead of calling you but I called you and it's 3 hours prior not 20 mins. I am interested in meeting you so that's why I asked if you would be available Saturday." Then the guy goes on a rant about how all women are selfish and I'm just the typical woman and basically berates me!! I said "Obviously this isn't going to work out and I wish you luck on Match" and hang up.
Here comes the fun part!! He starts texting me these crazy ass texts. Keep in mind this guy is a successful 45 year old.
Him: U r a joke and a liar. U r single and alone. Games and unsolicited advice unacceptable. Selfish girl bad news. U made plans break plans. U r unreliable person.
Me: What?? Do you actually speak to a woman like that and expect to get a favorable response? You're 45 and acting like this??
Him: U do not deserve any different when u r rude. U get what u give. Goes both ways and dont care. U suck. Sorry have another date tonight. U r backup dont bother me u lose rude woman
Me: I'm sorry but calling you 3 hrs to tell you I can't make it tonight and would like to reschedule is not rude. I don't know where you got your manners from but you are completely out of line.
Him: From women like u. So r u take responsbilitiy for your behavior. Works both ways.
Me: Stop texting me
Him: Yes stop texting me. U r harassing me. I have no money for u. Do not contact me again
I mean WTF??? Are you Fing kidding me??
Sounds like the guy has lots of issues with insecurity and prior bad experiences. I think it's good that this came out that soon. You didn't have to waste your time on him. Unless of course you think you could handle somebody like that. The right woman could do it, but it would take lots of effort and affirmations and he would probably be very jealous too.
Again, it's good it all came out sooner rather than later. But it was simply that you hit his sensitive spot and people lash out in pain when their sensitive spot is hit.
Lets see... you cancelled the date, you told him you were suspiciously busy on prime date nights, then offered up one last evening as a substitute.... Yeah he handled it wrong, but any guy would have just said forget about it, lol.
Totally!! I would have excepted the Saturday date and "lost" or "misplaced" my phone that saturday and went out on the town solo.
I'm going to come off as mean here, but I'll post this in the off chance the OP is interested in improving her approach. Regarding the super generic email:
I'm no pro at this, but after reading that message a couple times I can actually see why that negative response might be evoked from a grumpy person with a bad attitude.
Generic emails are pretty common from men who are playing the numbers game and not putting any effort into it. But if you get a message like that from a woman then the chances are its just a porn spam bot. I'd half expect a message like that to end with "things got pretty crazy last night with my girlfriends, check out some pics at http://tinyurl..." before I finished reading it.
Again, not a very becoming response to it on his part. I'd like to think most individuals would just not reply if they didn't like the tone or content of a message, but there's actually kind an insulting tone to the whole thing. "Hey you." Not even using his screen name, 'hey you with the face'. Right from the start it sounds like he's already wasting your time somehow or that you've got a bone to pick with him. Honestly outside of "Hey a-hole" or the like I'm having trouble coming up with a worse two word opener.
The body of the message essentially says "I didn't even bother to read your profile, I don't know what you want but you figure it out." It just looks lazy and kind of inconsiderate. Even if you didn't look at his profile, don't say that! You then make a joke alluding to being above online dating. Not really horrible, but it does read a little bit like 'I never do this kind of thing!' during a one night stand. The only nice thing that was said was that you saw his profile and were interested...which was tragically spelled wrong.
I'd say a better quick message would be:
Hi [screenname]/Hey There/Dear [screenname],
You sound like a great guy and I think you're pretty cute. I really like/I'm also interested [something from the profile or in one of the pictures]. Maybe we could chat sometime? (You could suggest a time or something)
~name
I mean, that is short, flattering and almost effortless to write. I'm sure there are better messages but I don't think anyone is going to be turned off by that.
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