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Old 10-21-2011, 02:56 PM
 
Location: Connecticut
1,142 posts, read 2,127,672 times
Reputation: 1349

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leopards dont change their spots - my fathers most used quote and sadly to say true - most people do not change and if they do it will only be temporary unless they have had some life shattering experience - to expect a person to accept your lifestyle as their own when it has never been before been their lifestyle i believe is a recipe for disaster - if you dont like overweight gals then dont date them - but just as an fyi my father was very active and fit but as got over 75 he didnt look all that fit anymore - so if your going to base your relationship upon looks instead of what is truly important in life i fear your later years will be spent with some woman you dont speak to any more -
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Old 10-21-2011, 03:14 PM
 
284 posts, read 498,432 times
Reputation: 318
Some people say that the happiest of relationships are those where the couple *doesn't* share every aspect of their lives. Who wants to be with someone 24 hours a day? That would get on my last nerve. Who wants to agree with someone all of the time? That would be boring. Seriously, I'd hate to date my twin - share lifestyles? How about blend them? That sounds more like fun to me.

So, if you meet a woman who is 99% of everything you want but she is a little overweight, give it a shot. It's amazing what can happen once a person lets go of their sense of what they should be attracted to or what should be happening in a relationship. But maybe that's just me. I just let things happen. It's been fun so far... well except that one time, but that's a different story.
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Old 10-21-2011, 03:20 PM
 
Location: Katonah, NY
21,192 posts, read 25,109,255 times
Reputation: 22275
Should you settle? No. Should you be more open minded? Perhaps.

Settling, to me, means committing to someone that you aren't truly in love with. Since you aren't currently in a relationship, I don't think this applies to you.

Being more open minded, to me, in this instance, means not basing who you give a chance to only on a clothing size. In some ways, you can't help who you are attracted to. But at the same time, sometimes attraction can grow once you get to know someone. Someone that you didn't really notice at first can become beautiful to you once you get to know who they are inside.

If you only base a relationship on how much someone weighs - what's going to happen to your feelings for that person if they gain weight? When they get pregnant? After they have a baby and don't get back to their former weight quick enough? Get injured and can't stay as in shape?
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Old 10-21-2011, 03:35 PM
 
Location: Cary NC
1,056 posts, read 1,733,021 times
Reputation: 2461
[quote=wscottling;21382372]Some people say that the happiest of relationships are those where the couple *doesn't* share every aspect of their lives. Who wants to be with someone 24 hours a day? That would get on my last nerve. Who wants to agree with someone all of the time? That would be boring. Seriously, I'd hate to date my twin - share lifestyles? How about blend them? That sounds more like fun to me.

I agre with this! My husband loves to play basketball and is generally more physically active than I am, I love to read he doesn't. We have many things in common but differ in certain areas too. I don't resent his Sat. morning game with the guys he doesn't mind my book club. For us it works.
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Old 10-21-2011, 03:45 PM
 
Location: Northern Wisconsin
10,379 posts, read 10,871,360 times
Reputation: 18712
I think you should be open to these other non-athletic type women. WHY? I will assume that if you want to have children you are looking for a life long partner. A nice giving kind person is a true treasure. Most people are selfish and self centered. You're talking about looking for not just a sex partner, but a life long companion that will be a true friend, a person who will try to make you happy and care for your needs. A woman who will be faithful and not looking for a new stud every couple of years. A loving mother for your children. Even if the sex isn't great right away, people can learn.

The person inside is a lot more important than the person outside. A few pounds is nothing. Besides, she might eventually join you in getting fit. My wife didn't exercise at all and was generally in not the best of health when we married. Now she exercises in the morning and we walk in the evening. People do change you know.
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Old 10-21-2011, 03:57 PM
 
Location: Hawaii
2,058 posts, read 3,298,165 times
Reputation: 1576
DO NOT get into a relationship with an overweight woman. Based on your views, it will be a complete disaster.

In general, I don't think anyone should settle for anyone that they are not fundamentally compatible with or attracted to.
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Old 10-21-2011, 03:59 PM
 
Location: Hawaii
2,058 posts, read 3,298,165 times
Reputation: 1576
Quote:
Originally Posted by bicoastal10 View Post
OP, forget about American women and go find a real beauty overseas. If you make over $20k a year you're considered rich in many places around the world. Use that, and the fact that you're an American, to your advantage and land a truly awesome chick from overseas who will worship you.
hahahahaha
Good luck with that.
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Old 10-21-2011, 04:15 PM
 
Location: International Spacestation
5,185 posts, read 7,544,327 times
Reputation: 1415
Quote:
Originally Posted by lauramc27 View Post
"Do you think I should OR would you settle for someone who is overweight if they were otherwise fully compatible? "

I have a real problem with this statement. "Settle" for someone who is overweight? Really? What makes you think this person would want you? Are you that superficial that you only look at what is on the outside? Just because someone is overweight this does not make them less of a person and to think that you would go out and find a wonderful person and settle for them just agrivates me to no end.

I think you need to take some time and look within yourself and fix you before you go out and try to fix people that probably don't need fixing.
auugggggg this is so annoying!!! Why do you chicks think its ok to be fat?? ITS NOT OK!!!....A woman should not be fat. What the op needs is a short attractive woman.
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Old 10-21-2011, 04:17 PM
 
Location: International Spacestation
5,185 posts, read 7,544,327 times
Reputation: 1415
Quote:
Originally Posted by bicoastal10 View Post
OP, forget about American women and go find a real beauty overseas. If you make over $20k a year you're considered rich in many places around the world. Use that, and the fact that you're an American, to your advantage and land a truly awesome chick from overseas who will worship you.
Thats a lot of paper work man. Sounds like a hassle.
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Old 10-21-2011, 04:28 PM
 
Location: USA
30,697 posts, read 21,836,679 times
Reputation: 18905
WRT foreign woman, I'm sure the grass is rarely greener on the other side. It never is! Expect a foreign woman to try and bring her entire family here and expect a 5 year long marriage or what ever the minimum length is these days. In addition many foreign bride can be Prostutes or former Prostitutes trying to get a better life in America.
Of course this is not the case for everyone or every country but be aware!

American women "Known quantity"
Foreign women "Unknown quantity"
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