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Old 10-21-2011, 05:22 PM
 
Location: John & Ken-ville
12,792 posts, read 8,737,226 times
Reputation: 8395
maybe you shouldn't put restrictions and conditions on who you'll date.

if she's overweight she might be motivated to get in shape with you.
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Old 10-21-2011, 05:43 PM
 
Location: Arizona
1,192 posts, read 1,172,037 times
Reputation: 1477
Quote:
Originally Posted by FlyiMetro View Post
auugggggg this is so annoying!!! Why do you chicks think its ok to be fat?? ITS NOT OK!!!....A woman should not be fat. What the op needs is a short attractive woman.
First of all I didn't say it was OK to be overweight. I was giving my opinion that he is superficial and needs to look past outward appearances and look to what is inside. And to say he would "settle" for an overweight person IMO is pretty rude.
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Old 10-21-2011, 05:46 PM
 
Location: Hawaii
2,058 posts, read 1,769,562 times
Reputation: 1551
Quote:
Originally Posted by FlyiMetro View Post
Can you explain this post in further detail???
You will try to change her and she'll resent you for not accepting her the way she is. Add kids to the mix of 2 people who weren't compatible or attracted to each other in the first place and now resent each other... it's not gonna be good.
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Old 10-21-2011, 06:00 PM
 
Location: The Triad (nc)
17,216 posts, read 22,035,667 times
Reputation: 14319
Quote:
Originally Posted by k374 View Post
in every instance? Are you saying most people settle?

I'm saying that when the question gets posed...

Specifics aside, as they rarely matter much very much anyway...
in almost every instance the answer will be either a straight up YES..
or some rather minor variation on that theme.

again, hth
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Old 10-21-2011, 11:08 PM
 
Location: Las Vegas
7,885 posts, read 13,792,487 times
Reputation: 9456
So, let's just say you find this fit woman. She agrees to have babies with you and gains 50lbs. Other than that she is great. Sweet, kind, loving, and a good mom and wife. At this point will you no longer be attracted to her?

Think about this!

What you marry is often not what you end up with. People change as they age. Men and women alike.

Would it be OK for your fit wife to no longer find you attractive if you became bald or put on some weight?

There are things much more important than the number on a scale or the hair on your head.
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Old 10-21-2011, 11:36 PM
 
Location: Olympus Mons, Mars
2,844 posts, read 4,343,356 times
Reputation: 2195
Quote:
Originally Posted by lauramc27 View Post
First of all I didn't say it was OK to be overweight. I was giving my opinion that he is superficial and needs to look past outward appearances and look to what is inside. And to say he would "settle" for an overweight person IMO is pretty rude.
"settle" just means getting something that you less than ideally want, it doesn't mean the original is flawed in the absolute but just incompatible with one's likes...everyone likes different things, one man's meat is another's poison so...

if one person leads a sedentary lifestyle and the other one leads an active one don't you think that is a major compatibility issue that can lead to friction?
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Old 10-22-2011, 12:23 AM
 
2,019 posts, read 1,657,428 times
Reputation: 2168
What is overweight to you? Men carry weight weird...well all people kind of do so I'm having trouble picturing a 5'6, 140lb man. 140 man sounds like he physically looks like an Eva Longoria. TINY TINY man so I'm thinking a 5'8, 160 woman that's maybe a size 10 would crush you.

Considering your weight and frame I think any woman over a size 2 is probably overweight to you.

Could you handle a Kardashian sized woman? Does Christina Hendricks bring about the words fe fi fo fum for you? Would Shakira's hips knock you flat on your butt?

Sorry, I'm having a little fun with this but I can't help it. Can I get an idea of exactly what you look like because 140 on a man is making me go wut?

What's overweight to you might actually be a person who is physically fit but fit for their frame. Some women's frames can't take tiny hips and shopping in the junior section.
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Old 10-22-2011, 12:37 AM
 
Location: Olympus Mons, Mars
2,844 posts, read 4,343,356 times
Reputation: 2195
@DejaBlue, I'm glad you're having fun

I didn't mention any figures did I? I am weight/height proportionate, 135-140lbs is the correct weight for a 5'6 man. And perhaps you haven't traveled to other countries to see other populations but 5'6-5'8 is about the average world height for men so nothing unusual in that.
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Old 10-22-2011, 12:45 AM
 
Location: Davenport, Iowa
2,432 posts, read 1,610,455 times
Reputation: 3301
No one should ever "settle." To me settling means "Right now I don't think I can do any better so I'll date so and so because this person likes me." That's not exactly a recipe for a good relationship and you're already presuming superiority.

A woman who's ten pounds overweight isn't necessarily going to have health problems. I actually think that ten pounds well-distributed is more attractive than a stick figure, but that's just me.

I've never liked the idea of changing someone in a relationship. I remember a friend of mine saying "she'd be perfect if she just lost ten pounds." That's not really fair to a girl who can probably find someone who wants to date her in her current state.

It's all a matter of what you find attractive. A girl may not do the same workout activities as you but is compatible in other areas. I remember thinking it would be nice to find a girl who's a runner since I run distances. However, I've never actually gone on a run with a girl I've dated and that hasn't affected any of my relationships (and all girls were healthy weights).
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Old 10-22-2011, 03:04 AM
 
Location: Southern California
3,116 posts, read 3,900,277 times
Reputation: 3501
Quote:
Originally Posted by fleetiebelle View Post
You seem to be associating thin with active and overweight with lazy. There are plenty of thin people who aren't all that active, and there are many overweight women who'd be happy to hike and bike and whatever with you. Of course, you shouldn't date someone who's completely incompatible with your life, but maybe you shouldn't write off people just from their looks.
Exactly! Instead of focussing on how much a woman weighs, focus on whether she likes to bike and hike, and run and climb rocks, and whatever else you like to do!
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