As a woman, why would you do this to yourself? (married, younger)
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Is it really that surprising? I have never been through a divorce, but I know that it is a life-altering event and possibly has thrown her into a deep depression - especially if she still has feelings for you.
Not for nothing, but they've been divorced for 4 years and the OP indicated that she only recently stopped dating. Whatever is going on with her, I doubt it has anything to do with him.
Divorce can be devastating and a relief at the same time.
I have two divorces behind me and as bad as it was I vowed that my exes would never, ever see me looking natty. The fact that I am vain helped, but as depressed (and relieved) as I was, keeping myself pulled together always made me feel better about myself.
Maybe the woman just doesn't care. She may not have any interest in meeting someone and doesn't feel the need to keep herself up. It takes effort and work that she probably feels she just doesn't need or want to do any more.
I think the OP should have a chat with her and let her know that he is concerned. And he may find that there is no reason to be concerned.
Virgode. . .I will address you directly given that you've raised the old rehashed, burned out double standard issue:
Lady, I look good. I take care of my health and appearance. I work out several times a week, weigh no more than 186lbs and am firm in all the right places. Although I'm 51 years old, I have no need to dye my jet black hair. I have not grayed most likely because gray hair is not prevalent in my family. My mother started graying in her early 70's. At 74, although gray, my father has a full head of hair, as does his son.
How good you look is a matter of opinion, and your opinion may be biased, but I'm glad you're happy with yourself.
Some women don't age well after menopause and could definately attribute to the changes.
The considerable weight gain could be an issue - but what is so wrong with her deciding to stop dying her hair? And we don't really have control over age spots and wrinkles - it's not like you can "decide" to get those. Maybe she wasn't wearing as much make up as usual.
I don't think not dying your hair and getting age spots or wrinkles should be considered letting yourself go. It's really just a natural part of getting older - which, believe it or not, we all do.
Heaven forbid a woman wash her car looking anything but perfect.
Maybe she's done with dating. Maybe she's done with trying to impress anyone with her physical appearance. That's not a cry for help, that's growing up.
It may have been that she was glad about the divorce and maybe wanted it a long time. Maybe she just wanted a man so she could have children and $$$$. Now she has those and doesn't need a man any more. I'm convinced that lots of women prefer life with children but no husband.
The fact that they are divorced may mean less communication??? Each of them have separate lives and divorce creates boundaries.
Yeah, communication is the key to happily divorced couples.....
he might need an intervention for his mid-life crisis too.
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