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Um... Kids do find things out.. Believe me, they do. And, when and if they do, will you have the ability to look them into the eye about the issue? Of course, most kids would not want to know, but sometimes they do find out. I think both the child and parent would feel disgrace about the infidelity or promiscuity of their parents. Call me a liar, but I am only speaking from myself and I bet others would feel the same.
This is such BS. My mother had several (4-5) boyfriends before meeting my father and getting married. All throughout High School and college. All of which she had sexual relationships with. I look at her no differently. She taught me not to settle for the first thing that comes along. She knew my dad was the one when she met him 27 years ago, but it took a few that didnt work to recognize when something did.
No shame in that.
Kids today deal with a lot worse then Mom and Dad having a few past relationships. Geesh!
Would you say the same thing about ped0philes? It never ceases to amaze me how people pick and choose what they feel is moral/immoral. I highly doubt most anyone here is tolerant of my lifestyle and religion. The Ancient Greeks/Romans use to think pedophilia with young boys was acceptable and anyone who dared criticized was considered not accepting, rude and condescending. After all, it was just so normal in society? I guess moral principles are gauged by the society we live in. The Canaanites in Ancient Israel thought sacrificing their eldest children to the false-god Molokh was a very noble and honorable cause.
To each their own..
Um... Kids do find things out.. Believe me, they do. And, when and if they do, will you have the ability to look them into the eye about the issue? Of course, most kids would not want to know, but sometimes they do find out. I think both the child and parent would feel disgrace about the infidelity or promiscuity of their parents. Call me a liar, but I am only speaking from myself and I bet others would feel the same.
People also practiced incest since time immemorial. That doesn't make it right. And, on that note, what is your point? I am speaking with respect to America and Europe and most other societies in the world. There is al lot more out-of-wedlock children today than ever before. Especially, in Western society of the last 2000 years.
Who cares if kids find out, it is none of their business. They will deal with it. I hardly think they're going to be scarred for life because their Mother or Father had a sex life before marrying.
Your views are insulting to women. Your sanctimonious attitude about sex belongs in the dark ages not in these modern times. If you want to marry a virgin that's your choice, but to assume other people feel the same way about your stone age views is simply preposterous.
Kids today deal with a lot worse then Mom and Dad having a few past relationships. Geesh!
A few is one thing, but when we start hitting close to the dozens, that is another thing. Well, I would always have to forgive my mother, she is my mother. Nonetheless, it leaves me with a bad feeling in my stomach.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Djuna
Your views are insulting to women. Your sanctimonious attitude about sex belongs in the dark ages not in these modern times. If you want to marry a virgin that's your choice, but to assume other people feel the same way about your stone age views is simply preposterous.
Actually, my views are more medieval, yours are more stone age. In a lot of ways people today act like cave people. Sleeping around with anything they see and leaving behind kids they don't really care about. Really, just because you learned to speak a more evolved language and dress in a nice shirt, dress, pants doesn't mean you are any more civilized. I personally think there is a lot we can learn from people in the past. Charles Darwin may have been right about physical evolution, but mental evolution, I think he is wrong. Considering the fact that most people seem to be socially devolving, I think I will have to second think Evolutionary theories.
Believe it or not, there was many societies where people just slept around with everyone they see, even their own siblings. There was some very crazy and immoral societies. Most of them were wiped out and replaced with more moral and orderly societies.
A few is one thing, but when we start hitting close to the dozens, that is another thing. Well, I would always have to forgive my mother, she is my mother. Nonetheless, it leaves me with a bad feeling in my stomach.
A few is one thing, but when we start hitting close to the dozens, that is another thing. Well, I would always have to forgive my mother, she is my mother. Nonetheless, it leaves me with a bad feeling in my stomach.
Its not that I want to remember, its really a security issue.
If I ever catch an STD, at least ill know exactly where to find [And possibly injure] them. And If I ever get one, at least Ill be able to notify the last person I slept with.
Ive never had anything, but the thought just makes me want to be safe in any way I can. The average person doesnt care about anyone in their past who they've slept with, and that is sad.
Its funny to think that, since most people dont have this info, they're taking a huge risk.
You can never have too much information handy.
And also, Im not a fan of the "dont ask dont tell" bull****.
If he knows, great. If he doesnt, I probably wont mention it because Im not insecure about it. If he asks, he will get the truth. Im not going to lie to myself, or my partner.
Ah .... OK, your reasons for keeping the list makes a great deal of sense now. thank you for the clarification .... not that you owed it, but I do appreciate that, and perhaps it can be quite useful information to another.
I agree with you about how the average person does not care about those in their pasts that they have slept with. I know I don't, and I do find that sad. Not that my number is all that high, but there are a few on there that I wish I had not slept with. I should have had more respect for myself, and I should have had more respect for them.
My husband and I are quite honest with one another. We've both been in past marriages where that was NOT the case, and we began this relationship/marriage very open about everything. It somewhat comes under the "be careful what you ask" idea, b/c once you ask, if you truly want an answer, you will get the truth. And yes, sometimes the truth does hurt, but I'd still prefer the truth to a lie or secrets ..... I've been there. I don't want to go there again.
I learned early on that you can be pegged as being a 'hoe' and being a virgin. I had a horrible reputation in high school, but had only kissed one guy ( my boyfriend at the time) and was still a total virgin. Apparently some girls started some rumors and they took off... Soon, Guys I barely knew were telling people they had slept with me. After that, I realized that people can say whatever they want and it doesn't necessarily mean its true.
My number is in the low teens, I've been sexually active for going on 10 years, I get tested regularly even if I'm in a relationship and I've never been pregnant. Oddly, I'm still friends with and regularly hang out with 2 men I had one night stands with. Never slept with them again, but they're pretty cool dudes
I love a woman who is honest.
While most will get caught up by you mentioning one-night-stands, I find it refreshing to see a woman getting tested regularly despite her relationship status.
Congrats, you're one of the few women who trust themselves more than any other [man] person.
A few is one thing, but when we start hitting close to the dozens, that is another thing. Well, I would always have to forgive my mother, she is my mother. Nonetheless, it leaves me with a bad feeling in my stomach.
Why would you need to forgive her? Whatever her past (or present) is her business. And even if you are made aware of it somehow, you are not an injured person in any way except in your own mind.
I don't even want to know.. But, it makes me sad to think my father would not be the only one.. I highly doubt any person can stomach seeing his parent with another person. Of course, there are exceptions, like if the person had an abusive parent and the father/mother remarried. But, once again, people who have loving parents don't want to think of their parents being with other people.
You are now perverting what I wrote and blowing it out of proportion.
Yes, if my mother slept with 100 men, I would still have to forgive her. I am a man of honor and respect. A son must honor his mother. More likely than not, I respect and honor my mother more than many people here do. Most kids these days don't respect their parents. Nonetheless, the bad deeds you have done in your youth will haunt you when you are older and have to explain them to your children, if they should find out.
FYI, my mother did not grow up in the 21st century. Despite, growing up as an atheist in the hippy generation she probably had nowhere as many partners as Serenity or yourselves. I know my father wasn't the first. It makes me sad, but I put it away from my mind..
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