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This question is about the way society views these things. It seems we project an unhealthy and almost unattainable goal for ourselves in this regard.
I doubt there are any statistics, but I would really like to know how many long term monogamous relationships are completely successful. Meaning two people, together for a significant amount of time with no incidents dealing with a third party.
There are statistics, sure. I don't know the numbers myself but there are relationships that are successful despite what those numbers are, so it is possible.
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I would like to hear from the types of people that demand fidelity in relationships as well: Do you expect to live happily ever after with a loyal spouse?
Of course. That would be the point of getting married, to commit to one person for the rest of your life.
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Are you expecting these things to not come up?
I don't expect my husband to be unfaithful or for the marriage to not work. Go in with those expectations and it will break down one way or another.
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What is it in your brain that makes you so incredibly loyal?
Loyalty is on the brain. It is a choice and something I value. When I commit to someone, it is because I want him and only him.
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Would you rather be alone forever than deal with this behavior?
If that was the only choice available, absolutely. But I will never be "alone", so that scenario is not a concern.
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Do you automatically demand and expect loyalty out of all your mates?
If we have decided to commit to one another, it goes without saying.
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What do you think would bring about such a change on society? Has it already begun?
I think there are people who agree and others who don't. Society, as a whole, doesn't go one way or the other. There's majority/minority on lots of issues and until they agree or disagree on everything, it has no effect on my personal world. So, it doesn't really concern me.
the major world religions have been around for awhile. the prior earth/pagan religions were b4 them and accepted all of the above, but that did not work out. kind of like gangsta culture in detroit, does not make the community flourish.
You brought up more than a few questions, I'll talk to a few.
"promiscuity"
Totally subjective. Most woman I have dated in theyre 30s have been with 5-20 men in their lives. The ones that say 20 would not be happy to admit to that number. Is 5 a little and 20 a lot? I could really care less and some people would say 2 was too many. Anyway the topic is typically taboo to talk about!
"monogamy, and fidelity ever change?"
In most modern societies monogamy is the expectation. Society says it's good for bringing up children with two loving parents and two incomes. Does that mean that pluralistic Muslim societies don't work, or many Latin and some European countries where a man having a lover on the side is "DeFacto" acceptable.
In this case it seems like your societies expectation is what controls whether it is acceptable or not.
"long term monogamous relationships are completely successful." From a percentage standpoint it absolutely does not work. I would gauge absolute success and validation of our societal view on monogamous marriage as being: Completely happy and content later in life with your spouse, and never have gone through a divorce. With a 50% divorce rate and another 25% settling with being stuck with whoever they picked I would say very few people are successful!
"Demanding Fidelity"
I think most people expect this going into a relationship. In reality, depending on who you talk to there’s probably a greater than 1 in 2 chance that your Spouse, SO, or BF/GF is going to go outside of your relationship for satisfaction.
"Would you rather be alone forever than deal with this behavior? "
This is a very interesting question and could be a topic on its own. I would break this into 2 parts A) You have a spouse that is seeing someone else. Do you leave them if you knew you were going to be alone for the rest of your life?
B) You are the other woman or man. Do you continue to see someone who is married vs. the chance of having no one the rest of your life? I would say there would be a 50/50 split between the people who would not want to be alone and the people who would say they have to stick with their "Morals" and would be alone. Some people can handle being alone better than others. On the other hand many people have an innate fear of being "Alone" in their old age.
This question is about the way society views these things. It seems we project an unhealthy and almost unattainable goal for ourselves in this regard.
Western society does project unhealthy views on sexuality and relationships, it's too restrictive, prudish and unrealistic.
For example, Western men, like in other counties, should be able to marry multiple women (polygamy). Hell, it's going on anyway even if society does not acknowledge it; for example, look at the NFL/NBA athletes; those guys have babies with multiple women around the country. And also, I have met quite a few married guys who sleep with women on the side because they are not getting enough sex from their wife; for them, sex on the side is the only way they can stay married.
It's just NATURAL for a man to want to be with different women. It's also my right as a male to be with multiple women so as long as I can take care of them all.
Prostitution should also be legalized/decriminalized!
Western society does project unhealthy views on sexuality and relationships, it's too restrictive and prudish.
For example, Western men, like in other counties, should be able to marry multiple women (polygamy).
It's my right as a male to be with multiple women so as long as I can take care of them all. Prostitution should also be legalized/decriminalized!
You know, it's not fair. Women should be able to marry multiple men, too. Though every woman I bring this idea up to seems to think it's nasty...who wants to pick up after more than one guy?
This question is about the way society views these things. It seems we project an unhealthy and almost unattainable goal for ourselves in this regard.
I doubt there are any statistics, but I would really like to know how many long term monogamous relationships are completely successful. Meaning two people, together for a significant amount of time with no incidents dealing with a third party.
This does not include people saying "my partner has never cheated, and I just know this.", because you simply don't.
I would like to hear from the types of people that demand fidelity in relationships as well: Do you expect to live happily ever after with a loyal spouse? Are you expecting these things to not come up? What is it in your brain that makes you so incredibly loyal? Would you rather be alone forever than deal with this behavior? Do you automatically demand and expect loyalty out of all your mates?
What do you think would bring about such a change on society? Has it already begun?
Well I'm going on 7 yrs with the same person. No cheating from either of us and we both demand fidelity. We both understand that if it happens we're done. There's no going back...
You know, it's not fair. Women should be able to marry multiple men, too. Though every woman I bring this idea up to seems to think it's nasty...who wants to pick up after more than one guy?
I'm all for it stan4! That said, it's a known fact that married women have lovers on the side just like men though they may not admit it.
Why? Because, it's hard to find a man who can encompass all the qualities that she needs.
For example, women marry Mr. Dependable for the money and stability, but often those guys lack any passion and they are boring; the fact that they are always at work makes it worse so over time that woman has no choice but to satisfy her sex drive with some other guy who tends to be the "lover type" who is very attentive to a woman's needs and is very romantic and passionate.
This question is about the way society views these things. It seems we project an unhealthy and almost unattainable goal for ourselves in this regard.
I doubt there are any statistics, but I would really like to know how many long term monogamous relationships are completely successful. Meaning two people, together for a significant amount of time with no incidents dealing with a third party.
This does not include people saying "my partner has never cheated, and I just know this.", because you simply don't.
I would like to hear from the types of people that demand fidelity in relationships as well: Do you expect to live happily ever after with a loyal spouse? Are you expecting these things to not come up? What is it in your brain that makes you so incredibly loyal? Would you rather be alone forever than deal with this behavior? Do you automatically demand and expect loyalty out of all your mates?
What do you think would bring about such a change on society? Has it already begun?
Why would your partner stray if you're providing them with everything they need?
Everyone doesn't want to cheat.
The desire for your partner has to be greater than the desire to cheat.
If someone wants to have sex or relationships outside of a commitment, they have no business in a monogamous relationship.
If it's not in someone's nature to be loyal then they shouldn't commit to a one on one.
What does society have to do with anything? Society doesn't have to change. People are responsible for their behavior. It's that behavior has to change. Otherwise why bother with a relationship?
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