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My first marriage never should have happened. I had a gut feeling early on. Even before getting married. I was thinking divorce the second day into it. I had a few happy moments, but I spent a lot of time asking myself WTF. It was a deep seated question. I'd verbalize it several times.
My second marriage is so much better. It is a whole different level of good. I never knew how good a good partnership could be. It is no comparison between the two.
We were married 3 years, 8 total since we met. Things were fine till the last year. I have to say I was happy the first 7 years we were together, and she has told me several times she was too. We lost trust on each other by mutual mistakes and from there on the relationship sank like a rock.
We got along pretty well and had lots of things in common, we tried to fix things but one way or another the past would always come back and resentment and anger will surface again and again. I think each of us aged 10 years in that short period of time. It was time to move on.
I learned a lot and definitely look forward to find someone and get married again in the future, but I'm taking it slowly.
We were married 3 years, 8 total since we met. Things were fine till the last year. I have to say I was happy the first 7 years we were together, and she has told me several times she was too. We lost trust on each other by mutual mistakes and from there on the relationship sank like a rock.
We got along pretty well and had lots of things in common, we tried to fix things but one way or another the past would always come back and resentment and anger will surface again and again. I think each of us aged 10 years in that short period of time. It was time to move on.
I learned a lot and definitely look forward to find someone and get married again in the future, but I'm taking it slowly.
Thanks for sharing. I'm sure you have much to offer. Life expereince has a way of being a great teacher, assuming we pay attention to the lessons to be learned.
I knew before I even got married I didn't want to be with me ex. However, she threatened to not let me see my son if I didn't marry her.
WOW, that must have been tough. Man, you're one bave fellow and it shows how much you're willing to do for your son. Most men are not put in that situation and still don't look after their children.
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
9,516 posts, read 20,003,071 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ron.
When you first found what you thought was your "soul mate" I am sure, you, like many newly weds, you never thought your marriage would go "south".
I'm asking because NO ONE ever thinks their marriage will turn out bad, for good reason. It's easy to understand why people think that.
How long where you married before things started to unravel?
If you are in or have been in a bad marriage, chime in with your thoughts.
thanks,
Ronnie Loves Ya!
Not true (the bolded). I married too young and on the rebound. He and I both knew I didn't love him but I wanted to try to make it work just the same. I never thought he was my 'soul mate'. In fact, I never believed there was such a thing as a soul mate until recently. And I'm still not sure about that. There's got to be another term/word for it--someone you love like you loved no other, even though you've had other good relationships.
Anyway, things started coming apart within two years or less but we stayed together the better part of 19 years.
Let's see -- we were together 6 years and then married for 11 years. Things were good in the beginning, but then he started getting dissatisfied with everything! Our address (lived on wrong side of the county line), his job (he was blue collar but thought people looked down on him), me (given the time of day I was either too fat, too skinny, dressed too sexy, not sexy enough).
So he set about trying to "move up in the world" by finding a woman with some money and guess what? He did it! He found a woman coming into a big inheritance, 5 years older then me and about 150 lbs. heavier.
I have not seen him since the divorce so I don't know if they're still together or not.
I have chosen to remain single and have gotten tired of the whole "dating" thing.
My second marriage is so much better. It is a whole different level of good. I never knew how good a good partnership could be. It is no comparison between the two.
I don't mean to rain on your parade, SD, but pretty much all marriages of a few weeks are good...
How long where you married before things started to unravel?
About 6 hours. After that, like someone else said, it got better, then worse, then better, then worse - and kept getting worse a long time. I finally had enough and ended it, but I guess I have an incredibly high tolerance for pain as it did take a long time to decide. Since then (12+ years), everything has been fantastic in my current relationship.
How long where you married before things started to unravel?
About 2 yrs. for both. I think thats about the time people start showing their true colors. Or thats how long it takes me to see them. At first certain characteristics seem kind of cute and eccentric then they become annoying and unbearable. And the alcohol and drug consumption changes peoples behavior. But it usually takes much longer to get to the point where you just stop trying and want out.
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