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Old 10-28-2011, 10:31 AM
 
Location: THE USA
3,254 posts, read 5,128,426 times
Reputation: 1973

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Ok Nevermind. I don't feel guilty but society tells me I should. I have told him we talk. He did not seem to mind, but he would leave me if I ever cheated in real life and I am aware of that. I would never. But how is sexting different than watching interactive porn?

Last edited by Taboo2; 10-28-2011 at 11:03 AM..

 
Old 10-28-2011, 10:37 AM
 
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
9,506 posts, read 16,891,647 times
Reputation: 9309
Have you told your husband about it? I mean, if it's not cheating you have nothing to hide, right?

This so-called work-wife/husband thing....maybe I'm just a suspicious person but it just sounds like a way for a guilt-ridden spouse to make a semi-confession about someone they're secretly attracted to, whether they've actually been with them or not. I think it's bs. Sounds like you both might have things you need to discuss. Together.
 
Old 10-28-2011, 10:39 AM
 
Location: Somewhere out there...
3,651 posts, read 7,047,855 times
Reputation: 3667
It IS cheating. Emotional cheating.
 
Old 10-28-2011, 10:41 AM
 
3,060 posts, read 6,741,127 times
Reputation: 3246
Quote:
Originally Posted by Taboo2 View Post
I have been married 8 years. We have a great marriage except he works long hours 2-4 nights a week as well as 5 full days a week. I find myself lonely when he is gone so I fell into an online sex talk situation with a platonic friend/aquaintance I have known for over 10 years. It happens once a week, more or less. We have both initiated it. We live in separate states and have no plans to ever actually see each other in person. I don't consider this cheating. I would never act on this fantasy life and it fills a void that will remain while the work schedule is this way. My husband had what he called a "work wife" whom he worked with and they were friends but nothing more. I don't feel guilty since there is no romance/love involved but am I the only person who thinks this way?
You call it "platonic" and yet say it is "sex talk".

By its very definition, Platonic="not sexual'....
.... so, a bit of a red flag there.

Would you have been okay with your husband and his "work wife' engaging in online sex talk?
 
Old 10-28-2011, 10:43 AM
 
2,447 posts, read 2,482,272 times
Reputation: 2198
This is humanity. We're not machine parts that are coupled with another part that works forever. It is perfectly normal to feel this way, and we shouldn't let people like 'asitshouldbe' above me guilt trip you. This is how shame and repression occur.
 
Old 10-28-2011, 10:45 AM
 
Location: Back in the gym...Yo Adrian!
9,371 posts, read 17,021,068 times
Reputation: 18290
Did you really want to open yourself up for the cyber-flogging you're about to receive?

If you are comfortable with your choices then why seek validation or approval from others, and why on earth would you want to subject yourself to the judgment of others?
 
Old 10-28-2011, 10:50 AM
 
2,113 posts, read 2,167,886 times
Reputation: 1756
If you don't consider your sexual conversations to be cheating, then you should tell your husband what you have been doing with your platonic friend. See if he agrees.

There are other ways to quell your loneliness. Have you tried going out with friends? Volunteering? Joining a club? Participating in a sport?
 
Old 10-28-2011, 10:53 AM
 
8,680 posts, read 12,453,349 times
Reputation: 15199
Quote:
Originally Posted by Taboo2 View Post
I have been married 8 years. We have a great marriage except he works long hours 2-4 nights a week as well as 5 full days a week. I find myself lonely when he is gone so I fell into an online sex talk situation with a platonic friend/aquaintance I have known for over 10 years. It happens once a week, more or less. We have both initiated it. We live in separate states and have no plans to ever actually see each other in person. I don't consider this cheating. I would never act on this fantasy life and it fills a void that will remain while the work schedule is this way. My husband had what he called a "work wife" whom he worked with and they were friends but nothing more. I don't feel guilty since there is no romance/love involved but am I the only person who thinks this way?
If you aren't, you should be, because you are violating your wedding vow to forsake all others.

You're "lonely?" Really? My SO works nights, often works long hours, and we don't even live together and I don't do what you're doing--and believe me, I'd bang him nearly every night if our schedules allowed it. You live with your husband and you're on the computer sexing it up with a stranger?

Please. If you want a hot fantasy life and must use a keyboard in the process, write erotic fiction.

As for your husband's "work wife," at least he had the courage and openness to tell you he was chumming it up with another woman. I hope you've met her. If not, he's walking a fine line, himself.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Coolhand68 View Post
Did you really want to open yourself up for the cyber-flogging you're about to receive?

If you are comfortable with your choices then why seek validation or approval from others, and why on earth would you want to subject yourself to the judgment of others?
Seems like she's angling for someone to say it's okay for her to do this. Sorry, but you're right, Coolhand. There will be no validation forthcoming, at least not from me.
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