Should married couples have friends of the opposite sex? (how to, marriage, women)
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rarely u find marriages that allow their partner to have friends with oppisite sex but my honest opinon is if you were friend with out attached feelings previously why not . i have been married almost 11 yrs and i have never told my husband he couldnt be friends with someone other girl because i feel like tht is a bit controlling.. I think this saying is very true why try to change someone if that is the way u feel in love with them....
Of course they can and do.
Holey moley, you're in a marriage, not owned by your partner.
I have interests that I share with my married friend's spouses.
So, I go camping and canoeing with the males.
There is nothing other than camping and canoeing going on.
Heck, I once spent a 2 week vacation in Utah with a friend's husband.
It's no big deal.
Either you trust you spouse and want them to have an enjoyable life, or you don't.
Trying to control others is the main reason for divorce.
One person cannot be everything to anyone else. (Sorry for misapplication of Vonnegut quote on divorce).
I was raised with a brother so I get along just as well with females as males. Romantic relationships with anyone other than your spouse, do not support the marriage so it is up to at least one of the parties to be strong enough to not turn outside the marriage if the relationship goes in the wrong direction.
Once, my husband started feeling a little unhappy about a neighbor. I told him that I could not predict what the neighbor would do, but, he can trust that I know how to put a stop to anything I don't want.
If the man is someone who she knows from childhood, who is a real friend - it's fine.
But someone who she meets and wants to be friends, or a "friend from work" - NO.
And it's not an issue of "owning" someone. But neither men nor women nowadays can be trusted. Even if they are married - especially if they are married!
You can trust your spouse - SOMETIMES, but you cannot trust someone you don't know and she just met. Heck no!
Just like a woman should not trust a friend with her husband, whether hers or her husband's friend, again, unless her friend is someone she can really trust.
I'm pretty sure it's been brought up before, I don't know. Here it goes.
Do you think any monogamous married couple have friends of the opposite sex? Why or why not?
Me personally, I doubt opposite-sex friendships based on the experience of other people.
I don't have a problem with it, given a few personally determined boundaries.
I have male colleagues at work with whom I am friendly. I consider them friends, they consider me friends. We are all, for the most part, married and/or otherwise in exclusive relationships. Same for my SO, who works with women with whom he maintains friendly relationships.
Are either of us going off and meeting with our friends of opposite genders one-on-one? No. Could we, if we so chose? I suppose so. But it doesn't really come up, because neither my SO nor myself has any burgeoning desire to maintain friendships with people of the opposite gender that require alone time with said friend. Our lines are pretty firmly drawn that the relationships are platonic, with no room for misinterpretation.
I'm pretty sure it's been
Do you think any monogamous married couple have friends of the opposite sex? Why or why not?
Me personally, I doubt opposite-sex friendships based on the experience of other people.
Philosophically I have no problem with it. We don't own one another. I have no problem with a partner having opposite sex friends in real life or on Facebook, short of date-like contact. I understand that it's impossible to control others actions and feelings, that relationships are complex, and we can't be everything to our partners.
I would want to have some boundaries honored, most specifically with ex's.
I have zero problem with regular contact with an ex who shares parenting duties. I would want a boundary with ex's with whom a confessed intensely physical attraction once existed — especially if said ex may still have strong feelings for the married partner.
I can buy the notion that it's possible to have changed the way one feels about a former lover, and that the lover may indeed change into a friend over time. However, some boundary in that situation is, to me, needed.
For example, my spouse had an ex husband, reportedly a toe-curling lover, as a facebook friend. I trust her, but my gut objects to this as much as I would to having a picture of any ex on her bedside table. Facebook conveniently delivers a daily image of her ex along with a blurb about whatever is happening in his life (and visa versa). All without actively seeking contact by phone or email. I KNOW this is an insecurity on my part, but it demonstrates how a need for a boundary might manifest itself.
If they want to and as long there isn't anything inappropriate going on, I don't see the problem.
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