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I've been dating my gf for over a year now. For the first 6 months of our relationship she was amazing. Up for anything, super outgoing and fun. Very affectionate and caring. I really fell for this girl. About 4 months ago without telling me she starts a new kind of birth control. I don’t know what it's called but I know its a rod she had inserted into her upper left (non-dominant) arm. Since then she’s begun to deteriorate. She erratic. Emotional and distant. Nothing in her life or our relationship has changed except for her new contraceptive. I've had numerous talks with her about this, explaining that I think her changes in behavior are directly contributed to the birth control but she will not listen to me. I even emailed her this info I found about how severe the side effects can be.
She told me she is aware of the risks and talked to her doctor at lengths about them before switching.
She refuses to have it removed claiming she does not want to take the pill and can no longer be on the shot (since she was on it for 4+ years) and does not want to have to ever worry about her period or having a mistake.
I’m at a cross roads. I love this girl but she has changed since I met her.
I've been dating my gf for over a year now. For the first 6 months of our relationship she was amazing. Up for anything, super outgoing and fun. Very affectionate and caring. I really fell for this girl. About 4 months ago without telling me she starts a new kind of birth control. I don’t know what it's called but I know its a rod she had inserted into her upper left (non-dominant) arm. Since then she’s begun to deteriorate. She erratic. Emotional and distant. Nothing in her life or our relationship has changed except for her new contraceptive. I've had numerous talks with her about this, explaining that I think her changes in behavior are directly contributed to the birth control but she will not listen to me. I even emailed her this info I found about how severe the side effects can be.
She told me she is aware of the risks and talked to her doctor at lengths about them before switching.
She refuses to have it removed claiming she does not want to take the pill and can no longer be on the shot (since she was on it for 4+ years) and does not want to have to ever worry about her period or having a mistake.
I’m at a cross roads. I love this girl but she has changed since I met her.
Any suggestions?
I don't have any suggestions for you, wish I did.
If you are seriously considering whether to end the relationship, I would let her know that. Maybe she doesn't think it's that big of a deal.
I went through something similar with birth control (NuvaRing). It's very hard to see the changes in yourself until they get so severe that you don't recognize yourself anymore. She may not even realize how much she has changed in your eyes.
It COULD also be that she has just gotten comfortable with you and this is her true self....the birth control could just be coincidence.
It COULD also be that she has just gotten comfortable with you and this is her true self....the birth control could just be coincidence.
I would read this sentence over and over and really give it a good thought. It's quite common for people to stop their "good behavior" around the 6 month mark.
For all we know she could've gotten a little comfy and the switch made it worse.
I can't say I think its a confort thing. I have discussed this with her parents as well. (Her mother is a doctor). They both said they have seen the changes and are not used to this side of her. She's normally very soft spoken, sweet and attentive. They are shocked at the change as well.
Birth Control does have an affect on hormones and such, and this can easily be related to the switch. She may not see it, or may think it is as outwardly evident as you are noticing.
I would talk with her family and or friends and see if they are willing to sit and talk to her about it too. Since you said her parents have noticed, it may help her to realize the birth control is affecting her negatively if more than just you are telling it to her.
Sounds like a very difficult situation! Best of luck! I certainly would not want a relationship to go south because of something fixable like that!
OP: you mentioned that her mom is a doctor; perhaps she might be more receptive to listening to medical advice from her mother, given her profession? Anyway just a possible thought...
Hormonal birth control often works by turning a woman into such a stark raving lunatic that no man would want to have sex with her.
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Anyway just a possible thought...
