Spouse keeps insisting on falling asleep on sofa and snoring LOUDLY (wife, men)
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and it irritates the heck out of me . I have to deal with the snoring all night long in bed - I have difficulty getting to sleep and then I am awoken occasionally throughout the night. But before bed, he always, without fail, falls asleep on the sofa and snores ridiculously loudly. I suggest to him that he go to bed and he just gets mad at me. I have tried everything I can to get him to get checked out at a sleep clinic. He did go, but he has never gone back for the evaluation. He says he's too busy. I have brought up the "Snoring can kill you" issue, but it doesn't seem to phase him. We have spent periods of our marriage sleeping in separate rooms, but the noise goes right through the wall, and it has a negative affect on our marriage (as if the snoring doesn't .) He acts as if I am the one at fault because I don't like listening to it. And that he has every right to sleep in the living room if he so desires. Some nights, I just have to leave the room because I am so annoyed. I don't understand why he doesn't just go to bed.
Any suggestions?
lol...Perhaps he is comfortable there? I know when I fall asleep I do not like to be woken since sleep comes hard for me so when it does happen? Please do not wake me up!!!
I am a night owl and often times I will fall asleep on the couch and then wake myself up to go to bed...
As far as the snoring? Hmmm. Well you can;t make him go since he is an adult, have you tried ear plugs?
Thanks everybody. I agree - he's being an inconsiderate boorish jerk where this is concerned. In almost every other way, he's great, but the snoring thing just irritates the heck out of me. He told me tonight (as he has on other occasions) that I snore like crazy too. So I asked the kids to rate each of us on a scale of 1 to 10. They rate me a 3 or 4 and my husband a 10 or beyond. SO, just to make sure I don't have sleep apnea, I'm going to go for a sleep study for myself, and then for follow-up. Perhaps he needs an example set for him.
We have a long-term guest right from Africa now who's in our guest room, so my refuge from snoring is not available to me for the next few weeks. I think the thought that I have no place to go makes his snoring seem worse. I find, however, that if I wait to go to bed until I'm drop dead exhausted, I can usually fall asleep. Melatonin, a white noise machine, ear plugs, and doing crossword puzzles also help. So does a swift kick in the shins.
He is in denial about his problem and making you suffer needlessly.
I call that extremely selfish.
It's completely up to you at this point as to what you are willing to live with.
You have two choices...
Either accept his boorish, foolish behavior, buy some ear plugs and let it go,
Or
Draw a line in the sand and take a stand (though I don't recommend this unless you are really willing to take things to the next level).
Good luck to you.
Or...she can love him for who he is...snoring and all...fetch a blanket and tuck him in snuggly on the couch w/a kiss. Life's not difficult unless you make it so. Give the guy a break already. Sounds to me like he works hard and comes home to crash...guess he could be crashing on someone elses' couch.
Suppose it's her choice.
Koale
Or...she can love him for who he is...snoring and all...fetch a blanket and tuck him in snuggly on the couch w/a kiss. Life's not difficult unless you make it so. Give the guy a break already. Sounds to me like he works hard and comes home to crash...guess he could be crashing on someone elses' couch.
Suppose it's her choice.
Koale
Most obviously, you haven't had to deal with this in your life .
Or...she can love him for who he is...snoring and all...fetch a blanket and tuck him in snuggly on the couch w/a kiss. Life's not difficult unless you make it so. Give the guy a break already. Sounds to me like he works hard and comes home to crash...guess he could be crashing on someone elses' couch.
Suppose it's her choice.
Koale
The man is in denial about this potentially life-threatening health issue, but I did tell her one of her two choices was to just accept him as he is and buy some ear plugs.
I should have also said this - she needs to make sure his life insurance policy is paid up.
He acts as if I am the one at fault because I don't like listening to it.
Well, equally, you seem to think it's his fault that he snores... yeah, he could and probably should go to the sleep clinic but my dad has sleep apnea and so I know from experience that sometimes, there's only so much that can be done. First he had a cpap machine but it's really uncomfortable and sometimes just as loud as the snoring. Then he had surgery but that only helped for about a year and then his apnea came back. He's back to using the cpap machine but as I say, it's uncomfortable and loud.
Even if he did go to the sleep clinic, who is to say he wouldn't still fall asleep on the couch?
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And that he has every right to sleep in the living room if he so desires.
It's his home, isn't it? Why does he not have the right to sleep in any room he so desires? I don't understand why it bothers you so much - if the snoring is disturbing his sleep, you should be glad to let him sleep wherever he is the most comfortable.
Jesus, things really could be a lot worse if this is the biggest problem you two have.
Quote:
Some nights, I just have to leave the room because I am so annoyed. I don't understand why he doesn't just go to bed.
Any suggestions?
Learn to accept that it's really not that big of a deal if he falls asleep in the living room. Just because it's not something you would do and therefore you don't understand why he does it doesn't mean there's anything wrong with it. Honestly, expecting him to live his life exactly how you think it "right" is pretty controlling and obsessive behavior. Yeah, he should go to the sleep clinic but as for falling asleep on the couch? Get over it.
and it irritates the heck out of me . I have to deal with the snoring all night long in bed - I have difficulty getting to sleep and then I am awoken occasionally throughout the night. But before bed, he always, without fail, falls asleep on the sofa and snores ridiculously loudly. I suggest to him that he go to bed and he just gets mad at me. I have tried everything I can to get him to get checked out at a sleep clinic. He did go, but he has never gone back for the evaluation. He says he's too busy. I have brought up the "Snoring can kill you" issue, but it doesn't seem to phase him. We have spent periods of our marriage sleeping in separate rooms, but the noise goes right through the wall, and it has a negative affect on our marriage (as if the snoring doesn't .) He acts as if I am the one at fault because I don't like listening to it. And that he has every right to sleep in the living room if he so desires. Some nights, I just have to leave the room because I am so annoyed. I don't understand why he doesn't just go to bed.
Any suggestions?
I feel for you.
When I got married and she didn't snore I said, 'I am so glad you don't snore.'
Sounds funny but that would be HUGE in my book. Sleep is a must!
I don't have an suggestions. Is he overweight?
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. I have to deal with the snoring all night long in bed - I have difficulty getting to sleep and then I am awoken occasionally throughout the night. But before bed, he always, without fail, falls asleep on the sofa and snores ridiculously loudly. I suggest to him that he go to bed and he just gets mad at me. I have tried everything I can to get him to get checked out at a sleep clinic. He did go, but he has never gone back for the evaluation. He says he's too busy. I have brought up the "Snoring can kill you" issue, but it doesn't seem to phase him. We have spent periods of our marriage sleeping in separate rooms, but the noise goes right through the wall, and it has a negative affect on our marriage (as if the snoring doesn't 
.) He acts as if I am the one at fault because I don't like listening to it. And that he has every right to sleep in the living room if he so desires. Some nights, I just have to leave the room because I am so annoyed. I don't understand why he doesn't just go to bed. 
.
Geez...
.
