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I don't think it should be mandatory. Sometimes people may have an intuition about something, but don't want to know the truth and just want to move on, they should not be forced to. If someone really wants to know though, that right should be made available to them before they must automatically be listed as the parent.
FWIW, parenting is more than biology. I personally couldn't see a situation where I disavowed one of my children simply because they didn't share my DNA. I truly don't unserstand the people that find out years down the line after raising a child as theirs, only to reject that child when they find out they aren't the biological father. In those cases, yes, that man should be responsible for child support.
IMO, I love technology and the advances we have made to make these kinds of things possible, but sometimes skeletons really should be left in the closet.
I don't think it should be mandatory. Sometimes people may have an intuition about something, but don't want to know the truth and just want to move on, they should not be forced to. If someone really wants to know though, that right should be made available to them before they must automatically be listed as the parent.
FWIW, parenting is more than biology. I personally couldn't see a situation where I disavowed one of my children simply because they didn't share my DNA. I truly don't unserstand the people that find out years down the line after raising a child as theirs, only to reject that child when they find out they aren't the biological father. In those cases, yes, that man should be responsible for child support.
IMO, I love technology and the advances we have made to make these kinds of things possible, but sometimes skeletons really should be left in the closet.
sometimes does not = all of the time
unfortunately this is something that a guy could never do to a woman. only a woman knows who she's slept with before her child was conceived. a guy could never hold that kind of secret.
yes, parenting is more than biology but it's unfair to hold a man to an obligation that technically is not his. i'm saying give that man the option of stepping up or moving on. he shouldn't be forced to care for a child that is not biologically his. it might also save the child the embarrassment of finding out years later when he needs a transfusion or has a medical condition that the man he/she thought was his biological father is not.
or lets say that a man and woman have been married for 10 years and has a 5 year old daughter. the man and woman have decided to separate/divorce and are going through a nasty custody battle. in a last ditch effort, she says something to the effect that your child is not your child or your child may not be your child. that's pretty much as low as you can go to hurt a man. it's not that he doesn't want to be there for the child he's helped raised all of their life but the hurt is still the hurt. at least if i've known since day 1, i'd be prepared for that.
unfortunately this is something that a guy could never do to a woman. only a woman knows who she's slept with before her child was conceived. a guy could never hold that kind of secret.
Sure he can. If a woman has a child by another man, that man can be holding a secret too. It's not like all the infidelity is due to one-night stands from single men in bars. Married men are going to get knocks on the door too.
Nobody is stopping men from asking for paternity testing now. If a man suspects the mother of his child, or if he wants it done for his own peace of mind, fine. Nobody is stopping them. But they should mind their own business and leave everyone else alone.
"You don't have anything to hide, do you? Only guilty people would object to this kind of test" is an affront to my liberty.
Please tie this into parenting so that your topic can stay on this board; otherwise, I will have to merge it with the one from Great Debates I linked to earlier. Thanks.
I don't think they should be mandatory for several reasons.
1. Why waste valuable lab time and space on something like this when I KNOW that my baby is my DH's. They could be using the resources used in my wasted test to do so many more things including catching criminals or diagnosing a time critical disease.
2. I have nothing to hide, but I feel that this is very invasive. I just think it has a creepy feeling to it and I am not sure why.
3. I don't like the idea of my husband's dna test in the system somewhere. Again, I am not sure why but I know I don't like it.
4. With the amount of tests that would be run increasing so much, I really feel like there would be an even higher chance of mistakes on results or big backlogs in labs.
5. I do not want to pay for another test that isn't needed. I need that money for my baby, not to flush down the toilet on a completely unnecessary test.
if the child is his, he pays, if it's not, she pays
simple
I would be pretty ticked off if the hospital had forced a paternity test on my children and my husband had to pay for it. That money would come out of our family's pocket since we are married. Just because some people cheat does not mean that most people cheat. If people want a paternity test they can get one. No need to force a test on people who do not want or need one
Considering all the laws surrounding paternal responsibility and time limits and what not, as invasive as this is, I think it would be beneficial for mandatory paternity testing on the crux that we simplify the laws on the books.
For instance in some states a father has up to the age of two years to contest paternity and absolve their responsibility. After that, they're stuck (for all intents and purposes).
The only way to contest paternal responsibility (i.e. child support) after the fact is to prove that the mother of the child fraudulently led you to believe that you were the child's dad, AND you must stop all contact with the child once you get confirmation that the child is not yours. Obviously for some folks this could be a serious issue to just ditch a child that you've been taking care of, but to continue to do so would be an admission of paternal responsibility. Pretty jacked up IMO.
Mandatory testing could eliminate these issues and would have the least emotional impact on the child & duped father. OR, individuals (fathers) can skip DNA testing under the premise that they WILL NOT EVER be able to contest their responsibility, even if the wife, the milkman and their child somehow manage to hit the power ball and live happily ever after.
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