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Old 11-04-2011, 03:00 PM
 
Location: Asheville, Nc
3,774 posts, read 2,140,216 times
Reputation: 2499
Default My ex-wife is regretting leaving me.

Yet I can't hate her & to some extent I feel sorry for her because we've all made some truly bad choice's in our personal lives. I'll be the first one to admit that. She told a good friend of mine that she wish's she would of stayed & tried to work thing's out like I asked her too. She hurt me when she left & there is no going back to her ever. I am in love with the women I am seeing now & even if she wasn't in my life & still wouldn't go back to her. MY question is should I feel bad at all for her? I can't hate anyone I've never been that type of person. While I dislike what she did I still feel bad that she's going though hell with her new BF & the regreats she is having now.

Am I being naive or just human?

Let the flamming start!
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Old 11-04-2011, 03:02 PM
 
Location: John & Ken-ville
12,383 posts, read 8,091,663 times
Reputation: 8066
The ex-wife is in the past.

You've got your future to look forward to with the new woman.

It's her regret not yours.
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Old 11-04-2011, 03:02 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
43,279 posts, read 51,772,813 times
Reputation: 35457
Quote:
Originally Posted by reed067 View Post
Yet I can't hate her & to some extent I feel sorry for her because we've all made some truly bad choice's in our personal lives. I'll be the first one to admit that. She told a good friend of mine that she wish's she would of stayed & tried to work thing's out like I asked her too. She hurt me when she left & there is no going back to her ever. I am in love with the women I am seeing now & even if she wasn't in my life & still wouldn't go back to her. MY question is should I feel bad at all for her? I can't hate anyone I've never been that type of person. While I dislike what she did I still feel bad that she's going though hell with her new BF & the regreats she is having now.

Am I being naive or just human?

Let the flamming start!

Correct me if I am wrong...your divorce is not finalized yet is it?
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Old 11-04-2011, 03:04 PM
 
2,114 posts, read 1,120,341 times
Reputation: 1726
It's only human to feel sympathy for someone that you once loved and planned to share the rest of your life with. No flaming from me.
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Old 11-04-2011, 03:06 PM
 
Location: NY
5,795 posts, read 4,389,697 times
Reputation: 6126
I'd say she is being remorseful because her current relationship isn't going well. She may also be feeling that way recognizing what she gave up that she had in you and regretting the decision to leave instead of working things out.

I think it is fine if you want to feel some sympathy for her, for going thruogh tough times and regretting past decisions. You loved her enough to marry her, and even in divorce sometimes love is still there. You can feel for her.

That said, don't spend time looking back yourself. You are now with a woman that loves you very much, and you love as well. You are building a new relationship and moved on with your life!

There is no rule that you must hate her because you two divorced.
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Old 11-04-2011, 03:10 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, TN
8,002 posts, read 12,692,029 times
Reputation: 12194
Quote:
Originally Posted by reed067 View Post
Yet I can't hate her & to some extent I feel sorry for her because we've all made some truly bad choice's in our personal lives. I'll be the first one to admit that. She told a good friend of mine that she wish's she would of stayed & tried to work thing's out like I asked her too. She hurt me when she left & there is no going back to her ever. I am in love with the women I am seeing now & even if she wasn't in my life & still wouldn't go back to her. MY question is should I feel bad at all for her? I can't hate anyone I've never been that type of person. While I dislike what she did I still feel bad that she's going though hell with her new BF & the regreats she is having now.

Am I being naive or just human?

Let the flamming start!
You sound like a normal and caring person to me. You have moved on and don't hold any feelings of hate, unlike others who hold a grudge and are bitter the rest of their lives.
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Old 11-04-2011, 03:12 PM
 
Location: Tucson
42,851 posts, read 51,225,654 times
Reputation: 22714
Quote:
Originally Posted by Checkered24 View Post
That said, don't spend time looking back yourself. You are now with a woman that loves you very much, and you love as well. You are building a new relationship and moved on with your life!
You never know. One day he may have regrets himself and it might not be too late still for them to work things out and get back together. Perhaps they have children that may make it worthwhile. Moving on is not always the best solution; alas, way too popular in this country. People are not as easily replaceable as gadgets.
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Old 11-04-2011, 03:15 PM
 
1,589 posts, read 1,201,828 times
Reputation: 2448
I think you should invite her back and ask the one you are with right now to welcome her as wife number 2. Think about it, this way no one gets hurt...

Seriously, she made her bed, please let her lay on it. Dont entertain any thoughts of her returning because its not fair to the one that has mended your broken heart and is now trying to enjoy the fruit of her labor. Geez why does my post always come off as a biblical verse
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Old 11-04-2011, 03:17 PM
 
Location: NY
5,795 posts, read 4,389,697 times
Reputation: 6126
Quote:
Originally Posted by sierraAZ View Post
You never know. One day he may have regrets himself and it might not be too late still for them to work things out and get back together. Perhaps they have children that may make it worthwhile. Moving on is not always the best solution; alas, way too popular in this country. People are not as easily replaceable as gadgets.
That is true and a possibility.

In his position, however, I would not get too excited over this news, based on his ex's situation of being in a bad relationship.

We can be in what we feel is a bad relationship, go to the next one which is far worse, then look back with rose colored glasses and think the prior bad one wasn't "so bad."

Yet, many people can reconcile and get back together too. Definately.
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Old 11-04-2011, 03:22 PM
 
Location: Tucson
42,851 posts, read 51,225,654 times
Reputation: 22714
Quote:
Originally Posted by Checkered24 View Post
That is true and a possibility.

In his position, however, I would not get too excited over this news, based on his ex's situation of being in a bad relationship.

We can be in what we feel is a bad relationship, go to the next one which is far worse, then look back with rose colored glasses and think the prior bad one wasn't "so bad."

Yet, many people can reconcile and get back together too. Definately.
While it may very well be true that she feels this way because of the new relationship, it may also be irrelevant. It's their own business and none of us can guess anything without being familiar with the dynamics, feelings, what's at stake, etc... Particularly if the divorce is not final yet, as LM seems to believe, it's a good time to think about it.
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