Getting Sex Elsewhere (marry, cheated, children, divorce)
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It's amazing isn't it? Somehow grown women go from being able to clean their own places and still functioning to cleaning their new home and being completely wiped out. Guess all that day time TV is tiring. The job/cleaning/cooking excuses are just that, excuses. If she really wanted to have sex, she would find the time. Guarantee any woman who pulls the I'm tired excuse is just tired of her husband, if her ideal man walked in the door ready for some sex, she'd find the energy.
There is a difference between having to clean your own mess and having to clean up after another adult who apparently associated getting married with acquiring a cook, a maid, and a nanny in addition to a second full-time income.
Not saying that is what happened in the OP's case, as he has not given us nearly enough information to try to help him. But as someone who has been there herself, dang straight doing the lion's share of all the housework and cooking in addition to working full-time left me with no energy, or inclination, to have sex with my ex-husband, and that is one reason I left him. Life is too short for that, and Lincoln freed the slaves.
Somehow grown women go from being able to clean their own places and still functioning to cleaning their new home and being completely wiped out.
Somehow grown men go from being able to clean their own places and still functioning to not lifting a finger in their new home and being completely perked-up having this newly found energy.
Somehow grown men go from being able to clean their own places and still functioning to not lifting a finger in their new home and being completely perked-up having this newly found energy.
"Husbands create an extra seven hours a week of housework for wives, according to a new study. But wives save husbands from about an hour of housework a week.
...Married women with more than three kids recorded an average of about 28 hours of housework a week, while married men with more than three kids logged only about 10 hours of housework a week." Source
That seems about right. Just cooking alone is almost two hours per day.
"Husbands create an extra seven hours a week of housework for wives, according to a new study. But wives save husbands from about an hour of housework a week.
...Married women with more than three kids recorded an average of about 28 hours of housework a week, while married men with more than three kids logged only about 10 hours of housework a week." Source
That seems about right. Just cooking alone is almost two hours per day.
Then again, for many the energy is not really newly found because they used to live in pigsties and eat junk... That's why they're "repulsed" by the very idea of doing anything at all.
Then again, for many the energy is not really newly found because they used to live in pigsties and eat junk... That's why they're "repulsed" by the very idea of doing anything at all.
Yea. I can't generalize since I really don't know what most men do. But, I don't know if my husband would eat well if I didn't cook for him. On the nights I don't cook, he'll make due with some cheese lol. I was gone for a week in October and one night he made himself a nice salad with baked veg chicken. He snacked for the rest lol. Ahh. I do like to cook, tho. I'm all about cooking shows these days.
Yes this is generalizing even if it is an accurate fact. Many men do their share and them some. My wife used to complain that I did TOO much. lol In fairness though her hangup seemed to be more that I was busy when she wanted to have "us" time.
If you want to keep the relationship and she does to, tell her you are unhappy with your sex life and want to fullfill your needs elswhere. Give her the option. You get a girlfriend or get divorce.
I know a woman who has this arrangement, DeFacto. Her husband stopped giving her sex. He admitted that he had a affair earlier in the relationship, but know was not interested in having sex with her or anyone now. She went out and found another man just to satisfy her. So, on Friday and Saturday nights he goes to the bar all night and she goes to see her other man. I believe he doesn't know and doesn't care to know.
See, I don't get this. Why is it every time the sex ends in a marriage it's the guy's fault and his problem to fix it? What does she do for him? Does she satisfy HIS needs? Why does he have to romance her and pretty much beg for sex? It's bull****.
Doing all of the above is cheaper than divorce. Doing all of the above just may get what he wants. At the end of the day, does he want to be married and have sex or deal with attorney fees and all that goes with ending a marriage?
If you want to keep the relationship and she does to, tell her you are unhappy with your sex life and want to fullfill your needs elswhere. Give her the option. You get a girlfriend or get divorce.
I know a woman who has this arrangement, DeFacto. Her husband stopped giving her sex. He admitted that he had a affair earlier in the relationship, but know was not interested in having sex with her or anyone now. She went out and found another man just to satisfy her. So, on Friday and Saturday nights he goes to the bar all night and she goes to see her other man. I believe he doesn't know and doesn't care to know.
i know personally a woman that did this. she even encouraged it, then she filed for divorce, surprise surprise.
Please, please, PLEASE see a marriage counselor together before you go that route. My marriage of 6 years was destroyed by my husband's affair. And if you have children- so much more than just your marriage is in jeopardy. Please think of how your actions will affect others before you satisfy your carnal "needs." Tell your wife EXACTLY what you have been thinking, please. Give her and the sanctity of your marriage enough respect to at least allow her to work on your marital problems with you before you do irreparable damage.
And if you think the only problem in your marriage is that she doesn't want to have sex often enough--- think again. There are reasons why she doesn't feel as close to you as she used to and it affects her desire for you; and you both need to work through these issues--or---decide together as two consenting adults to end your marriage. Then you may go back to "getting it" twice a year as you did when you were single... But trying to "have your cake and eat it too" is selfish beyond all measure.
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