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Old 11-05-2011, 03:17 PM
 
Location: Northern Virginia (DC Area)
17 posts, read 39,111 times
Reputation: 34

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Quote:
Originally Posted by STT Resident View Post
65 year old child-free and thrice-divorced (last one YEARS ago!) old female bag here, pretty much present and sometimes correct. Honestly I can't remember it ever being an issue with anyone around me and I can't remember that I ever made a conscious decision NOT to have children, unless regularly using birth control methods counts! Some friendships fell apart over the years because the lifestyles became so different and separate but I can't in all honesty say that being child-free has ever been a major issue. Or maybe I'm just getting old and forget. Rats. Hate it when that happens.

I have friends of all ages who have children and grandchildren and some with even great grandchildren and of course my life and their lives have been "different". Seems like these days my older friends are helping support their children and grandchildren rather than the kids supporting them in their adage ...
Nice to see an older childfree person here.
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Old 11-05-2011, 03:21 PM
 
2,495 posts, read 4,347,064 times
Reputation: 4935
Quote:
Originally Posted by sierraAZ View Post
Well, it's pretty simple... I don't have children, either, but I don't refer to myself as childfree, don't look for other childfree people, don't post threads on forums for such validation or participate in forums specifically created to discuss this topic, and I'm not disgusted by children. All of the above-mentioned applies to that label as it's been evident here many times before.
Wow, when i saw this topic I thought you'd be in here singing about the joys of "singledom" and "not being tied down by children." Have to say i am pleasantly surprised Sierra....Repped
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Old 11-05-2011, 03:22 PM
 
Location: St Thomas, US Virgin Islands
24,665 posts, read 69,534,324 times
Reputation: 26727
Quote:
Originally Posted by sierraAZ View Post
Well, it's pretty simple... I don't have children, either, but I don't refer to myself as childfree, don't look for other childfree people, don't post threads on forums for such validation or participate in forums specifically created to discuss this topic, and I'm not disgusted by children. All of the above-mentioned applies to that label as it's been evident here many times before.
But how is "child-less" less objectionable? Just curious. As far as not having children, not looking for other childfree people, not seeking validations on forums related to it, not participating in subjects specifically created to discuss the topic (but didn't you just do exactly that? ) and not being disgusted by children, I'm a bit lost again. I never went that route and why are you apparently making an assumption that this is a norm for (OK, in order not to offend) "people who do not have children"?
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Old 11-05-2011, 03:22 PM
 
1,325 posts, read 2,911,519 times
Reputation: 1411
I'm 28, single, child-free, and hope to remain that way until I'm at least 40. To be honest, I really have no desire for kids, but I feel obligated to have one since I'm an only child and my folks would probably be dissappointed if I didn't have a kid to carry on the family name.

I realize that may not be a good reason to have a kid, but that's where I stand now. However, I may geniunely want to have a kid 10-15 years from now.
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Old 11-05-2011, 03:25 PM
 
Location: So Cal
51,964 posts, read 52,408,140 times
Reputation: 52469
Quote:
Originally Posted by sierraAZ View Post
To me "childless" and "childfree" are not interchangeable terms. The label "childfree" applies more to a militant movement of fanatics who hate children.
Good point, I think you're right about some people being fanatic about not having kids and just downright being hateful towards kids. I'm not naming any names but there are a couple of regular posters here that post some ugly things about children. I was in a restaurant a few days ago and these two women were in the booth behind us and they were probably in there early 50's and somewhere a kid in the restaurant made some noise and this woman gripes fairly loudly "Someone shut that damn kid up."

I don't have kids either, it was a conscious decision on my part. I just knew at a young age that I didn't want to make the sacrifices that I knew even as a kid myself that people made when having children. My parents both accepted it quickly and never really pressured me about it at all. My Mom made the occasional comments about having kids, but they were very few and not filled with pressure. I have gotten some strange comments from other people over the yrs about it though. I just blow it off. I think, in my opinion a lot of people I've known over they yrs, shouldn't have had kids. They were crappy parents, selfish, it was just like kids were a "to do" thing, something to check off of a list so to speak.

I love my lifestyle, only have to worry about myself, well, my SO and a cat, but that is much easier then child rearing. At least the proper way of doing it, not just throwing a happy meal at them and dumping them off in front of the Xbox. So many parents just phone it in, IMHO.
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Old 11-05-2011, 03:27 PM
 
Location: Texas
44,256 posts, read 64,176,606 times
Reputation: 73921
I don't think I have ever met anyone who hates kids. Even the couples I know who have decided to purposely be child-free. They are some really devoted aunts and uncles. One of them is even a teacher!
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Old 11-05-2011, 03:27 PM
 
4,029 posts, read 2,104,053 times
Reputation: 10957
Another older (57) childfree female---even though I've been married for 34 years! As a kid, I never played with baby dolls, never dreamed of being a mom, even though I always liked kids. Just assumed we would have them when the time was right (we were going to adopt and were fine with that---DH has a genetic disease we didn't want to pass on). Got married at 23, but waited until we were financially and emotionally ready. Kept waiting and waiting...then realized we were perfectly happy without kids and that we could retire earlier if we didn't have them. Sure, I've missed out on the child rearing experience---but not having kids allowed me to do other things like travel and escape the work world at 52. It's absolutely not that I don't like kids. I also like elephants, but I don't want one in my living room 24/7! A bit too introverted for that.

I don't meet many other childfree people. Joined a Meetup group for childfree couples, but found I didn't have much in common with them other than the no kids thing---and found them all quite odd, and not necessarily in a good way. I'm sure some people don't think I've fully experienced all that adult life has to offer, but I consider myself very adult. I can't keep up with people when they discuss their kids/grandkids, but most would rather talk about their own than to hear about someone else's, so it works out.
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Old 11-05-2011, 03:27 PM
 
Location: New Jersey
12,322 posts, read 17,077,845 times
Reputation: 19556
Quote:
Originally Posted by sierraAZ View Post
To me "childless" and "childfree" are not interchangeable terms. The label "childfree" applies more to a militant movement of fanatics who hate children.
There certainly are some, But I know people who do not desire kids because they do not desire the tremendous responsibility of raising and caring for a child, Which is the biggest undertaking a person can do. We also live in a rough world, And as one person I know put it who had a tough childhood himself; "I cannot guarantee a good life for the child, so I will not have kids for this reason." And he, like many sometimes looks after his nephews, And adores them. One's life growing up can influence things like this.

A person has to be made of stone to have a grudge against a children, Who are basically US early in life. I find kids and their antics adorable personally. But you are right in one regard, I do not identify with a "childfree" movement. Maybe this Brooklyn boy will have a Jr someday, But truthfully I doubt it.
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Old 11-05-2011, 03:33 PM
 
4,029 posts, read 2,104,053 times
Reputation: 10957
Posted while some of you were also posting.

Stan, you will obviously be the sort of parent that I can respect. Too many people become parents and think that they now know the secrets of the universe. Good for you for realizing and accepting different strokes for different folks.

Chowhound, I agree about so many parents just phoning it in and using electronics as a babysitter. I think it's so sad when I see a parent in a grocery store with a kid---and instead of using the experience as a teachable moment (you will understand as another foodie), they are just yakking on their cell phones.

Bicoastal---I also was an only child. My parents were fine with not having a grandchild. You say your parents would probably be disappointed if you didn't have kids. Why not discuss this with them? Maybe they would be understanding. But even if they aren't, not a great reason to have kids...
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Old 11-05-2011, 03:41 PM
 
5,198 posts, read 5,260,534 times
Reputation: 13249
I am 34 and child-free - and I honestly don't get what's wrong with the word. I don't hate kids...but I am not in a rush to be around them, either. I don't think that I have a maternal instinct. When I see a child, I think "Oh, that's a kid." That's it. No warm and fuzzy feelings; no "Awwww...I want one." If he/she is a cute kid, I may think "Oh, that's a cute kid." But, that's about as far as it goes. I certainly never wanted one for myself.

I don't think that everyone in the world should be expected to like or want children. I don't understand people who say it's wrong. I know some women who SHOULD hate kids, because Lord knows they are horrible mothers.

Most people don't act surprised when they find out I don't have kids, but that may be because I look younger than my age.

I have no problem meeting people, whether it's other people with kids or other child-free people. I can get along with both. It's sort of a non-issue with me.

As for the "shut that kid up" comment, I have certainly thought that when I was in church, at a wedding, or somewhere else where a child was disruptive, and the parent sat there and smiled like it was cute.
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