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Old 11-15-2011, 02:36 PM
 
9,480 posts, read 12,292,531 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by truckingbronco View Post
You're applying your own definition to the term "childless", not the real definition. It simply means without children.

This is the hypersensitivity I mentioned, so many people have a persecution complex and want to be part of some special class. The childfree movement is as ridiculous as the National Assoc. to Advance Fat Acceptance (yes, NAAFA is a real thing).

We don't have kids, BFD, no one cares.
Well, it seems a lot of people DO care since those who are childfree or childless get asked a lot of questions about the fact that they don't have kids, whether it is a choice or not.

I don't go around asking people why they chose to have kids.

Those aren't MY definitions, BTW. I did not make them up. They are non-interchangeable terms that I first heard of at least 12 years ago.
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Old 11-15-2011, 02:49 PM
 
15,714 posts, read 21,068,969 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ElleTea View Post
Well, it seems a lot of people DO care since those who are childfree or childless get asked a lot of questions about the fact that they don't have kids, whether it is a choice or not.

I don't go around asking people why they chose to have kids.

Those aren't MY definitions, BTW. I did not make them up. They are non-interchangeable terms that I first heard of at least 12 years ago.
You personally may not but I can tell you I probably get asked more frequently about the number of children in our family and ages of them than you do about not having any. People don't stop there either...they ask about birth control, whether they were planned..etc. I'm sure childless and childfree get that as well but my point is people are just as nosey and insensitive to those with children as well.


The problem is, if you do anything even slightly out of the norm...people are curious and like to inject their opinion, even when it isn't welcome.
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Old 11-15-2011, 02:55 PM
 
9,480 posts, read 12,292,531 times
Reputation: 8783
Quote:
Originally Posted by justthe6ofus View Post
You personally may not but I can tell you I probably get asked more frequently about the number of children in our family and ages of them than you do about not having any. People don't stop there either...they ask about birth control, whether they were planned..etc. I'm sure childless and childfree get that as well but my point is people are just as nosey and insensitive to those with children as well.


The problem is, if you do anything even slightly out of the norm...people are curious and like to inject their opinion, even when it isn't welcome.
I think it is interesting because "normal" is such a relative term. It's perfectly "normal" IMO to not want kids and I personally don't know WHY someone would want them on purpose!

TIC
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Old 11-15-2011, 02:58 PM
 
Location: Earth
24,620 posts, read 28,279,876 times
Reputation: 11416
Quote:
Originally Posted by truckingbronco View Post
You're applying your own definition to the term "childless", not the real definition. It simply means without children.

This is the hypersensitivity I mentioned, so many people have a persecution complex and want to be part of some special class. The childfree movement is as ridiculous as the National Assoc. to Advance Fat Acceptance (yes, NAAFA is a real thing).

We don't have kids, BFD, no one cares.
Yeah, defining ourselves is certainly hypersensitive. Doubtful.
Childfree are people who don't want kids and take whatever actions they can to ensure that they will not be pregnant. EVER.
For example, I was sterilized in my early 20s. I am childfree.
Childfree is a choice, childless is a state of being without being childfree.

Unfortunately, many people do care, and many people make a point of commenting, judging, asking even... my reproductive choices are no one else's concerns.
But if you ask, I'm childfree - by choice.
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Old 11-15-2011, 03:02 PM
 
15,714 posts, read 21,068,969 times
Reputation: 12818
Quote:
Originally Posted by ElleTea View Post
I think it is interesting because "normal" is such a relative term. It's perfectly "normal" IMO to not want kids and I personally don't know WHY someone would want them on purpose!

TIC
I agree with you, however...it seems like if you don't have the standard 2-3 kids people are going to nose into your business.

Only one child? People wonder why? What is WRONG with you for only having one? Did you have medical issues? Could you not have more?

More than 2 or 3, were they all planned? Do they all have the same father? Don't you know what birth control is? Are you Catholic? Was he/she an oops? How can you afford them?

No kids...why not? Do you have medical issues? Can you not afford it? Is there something wrong with you?
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Old 11-15-2011, 05:54 PM
 
Location: Maryland
2,652 posts, read 4,797,840 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Texas User View Post
Is Childfree35 childfree?
Yes, dear
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Old 11-16-2011, 12:56 AM
 
Location: Sol System
1,497 posts, read 3,352,578 times
Reputation: 1043
Tell them to mind their business , even if it results in fingers being displayed , and/or bullets flying. Everything isn't for everyone.
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Old 11-16-2011, 09:00 AM
 
1,639 posts, read 4,707,445 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by chielgirl View Post
Yeah, defining ourselves is certainly hypersensitive. Doubtful.
Childfree are people who don't want kids and take whatever actions they can to ensure that they will not be pregnant. EVER.
For example, I was sterilized in my early 20s. I am childfree.
Childfree is a choice, childless is a state of being without being childfree.

Unfortunately, many people do care, and many people make a point of commenting, judging, asking even... my reproductive choices are no one else's concerns.
But if you ask, I'm childfree - by choice.
Yes, defining yourself based on the state of not being something is weird, hypersensitive, needy, and screams of a persecution complex. Your identity should be based on the things you are and the things you do.

People don't really care, at least those outside your circle. Most ask to make small talk. As far as judging? People judge everyone's life decisions, including reproductive decisions: why did they have kids, why do they not have kids, why do they have an only child, why do they have so many kids? If it's not one thing, it's something else. It may be annoying, but judgment and prying questions about personal choices are certainly not exclusive to those without kids.
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Old 11-16-2011, 11:16 AM
 
Location: Oklahoma City, OK
5,353 posts, read 5,792,126 times
Reputation: 6561
Quote:
Originally Posted by Javax View Post
How do people react to your childfree lifestyle? Are you single? Have you had pressure from parents, coworkers, church members, etc.? When did you decide to become childfree? How has it affected your dating life? Parents: How do you view childfree people? Just wondering, thanks.
Its supposedly an advantage to be 43, single, with no kids, and yet still want to have kids. BUT, not the case for me. Mother has stopped pressuring since my divorce 2 years ago. My brother gave her a granddaughter, so I'm now just the divorced Uncle with no kids. Makes no difference in my dating life, except that women in their early 30's view me as too old, despite being in good shape and looking young.
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Old 11-16-2011, 12:31 PM
 
Location: Earth
24,620 posts, read 28,279,876 times
Reputation: 11416
Quote:
Originally Posted by truckingbronco View Post
Yes, defining yourself based on the state of not being something is weird, hypersensitive, needy, and screams of a persecution complex. Your identity should be based on the things you are and the things you do.

People don't really care, at least those outside your circle. Most ask to make small talk. As far as judging? People judge everyone's life decisions, including reproductive decisions: why did they have kids, why do they not have kids, why do they have an only child, why do they have so many kids? If it's not one thing, it's something else. It may be annoying, but judgment and prying questions about personal choices are certainly not exclusive to those without kids.
People in my social circle would never consider asking anyone about their reproductive choices.
Just like we don't ask about salaries, sexual preferences, religions, etc.
It's those rude and nebby people that do.

Obviously people do care, because they ask.
Maybe in your group, you cross lines...

I don't see what you might think I'm feeling persecuted about, I chose to have myself spayed in my early 20s.
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