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Unread 11-06-2011, 01:45 PM
 
Location: Striving for Avalon
1,046 posts, read 741,696 times
Reputation: 1804
Quote:
Originally Posted by TabulaRasa View Post
Question for Amelorn: You're self-described as cold, unfriendly and offputting. You also describe yourself as having friends, and note that being single allows you more time with them. Do your friends find you to be cold, unfriendly, and offputting? If so, how is it that your friendships are successful?
Unfriendly? That's one I never hear. The ice melts when I'm in familiar company.

Friends have told me that I'm much more open and warm than they expected I could be. Those I've rendered help to or settled a debt (money or otherwise) with have commented on an iron loyalty.

Quote:
Originally Posted by mordant View Post
I wonder if you've ever considered lowering your standards / expectations and entering into a relationship for what it can actually provide rather than for some romanticized, idealized thing that it really can't. Just sayin'. That said I can certainly respect you for thinking clearly and honestly about what you want and sticking to your guns. If I could stand living and dying alone I would be right there with you. I'm just self-aware enough to know I can't hack it, or at least I am not fed up enough yet to put up with it.
Would that I was "a hunter." In more aspects of my life than I care to go into, I'm a planner, observer, and a strategizer. You'll find me at the campaign map, not the trenches, so to speak. I don't go from stranger--->date. I work stranger---acquaintance (at least)--->date. I watch for cues to see if the smile is friendly...or more, so I move slowly. It's not a matter of waiting for a 9.75/10* (else I'd still be a virgin)...so much as waiting for someone whose interest I've piqued.

Many are blessed in being "mainstream" in their lives, interests, goals, etc...which make long-term compatibility easier. I'm an oddball...not the cabin dwelling, anti-bathing cultist...but I do have my interests, psychology, tastes etc etc.

My best hope? Re-incarnate in 1250 AD (who says re-incarnation has happen in the future?), survive childhood, and let my lord (grand)father arrange something.

*I hate the system of rating people 1-10.
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Unread 11-06-2011, 02:14 PM
 
Location: Harrisonburg, VA
993 posts, read 726,981 times
Reputation: 1178
I think it can all be summed up in one word. Freedom.
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Unread 11-06-2011, 02:17 PM
 
Location: southern california
46,721 posts, read 41,147,002 times
Reputation: 37365
Quote:
Originally Posted by cwamjn View Post
The assumption that being in a relationship means you can't accumulate wealth is ridiculous. For example, my fiancé handles my company's finances, all without an official paycheck. Without her I'd have to go back to working in corporate America, making god knows whatever low wages they are trying to give to it directors.
glad u r happy treated well and are wealthy.
u are having a great relationship friend, bek u r not married. she does not have a legal right to your assets, the relationship and benefits are like "at will employment", when u leave, the assets go with you, unlike 42 million guys since 1975 who said "i do'.
in 70% of the divorces she filed not him why? $$$$
the marital industrial complex
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Unread 11-06-2011, 02:26 PM
 
Location: Katonah, NY
14,649 posts, read 6,528,270 times
Reputation: 14356
Quote:
Originally Posted by Braunwyn View Post
I don't see either gender engaging in this kind of speak offline, nor do I come across the men and women from bridezillas, but that has to do with my social circles.
I guess we just aren't hanging around the right people. I guess I should try finding some more bitter, angry people to hang out with - then I guess this kind of trash would make more sense to me.
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Unread 11-06-2011, 02:32 PM
 
18,333 posts, read 10,207,450 times
Reputation: 12268
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dewdrop93 View Post
I guess we just aren't hanging around the right people. I guess I should try finding some more bitter, angry people to hang out with - then I guess this kind of trash would make more sense to me.
Some people live it, and others are just entertained by it.
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Unread 11-06-2011, 07:10 PM
 
3,697 posts, read 1,551,305 times
Reputation: 4502
Quote:
Originally Posted by stan4 View Post
If by more masculine, you mean has a beard and mustache, then I'll grant you that. But if by more masculine, you mean wanting to be in charge, maybe it's american men who need to grow more cojones. Or just grow up. You don't get to be the boss of everything just cuz you have penie. If you need to go find a third world woman who agrees that your genitals allow you some special powers, then I guess that is what you are going to have to do.

The whole concept of masculine and feminine roles is so last century. Only the most insecure guys would insist that their partners abide by those outdated 'rules' of conduct. They are clinging desperately to the last thing that makes them special and sets them apart...the privilege of having Senor Dangly and the Swingin' Boys. Sorry. You're just going to have to offer more in this day and age.
Why do you assume that only men try to cling to these gender roles?
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Unread 11-06-2011, 07:30 PM
 
18,333 posts, read 10,207,450 times
Reputation: 12268
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ro2113 View Post
Why do you assume that only men try to cling to these gender roles?
I've seen it from women sparingly. Complaints usually come from men...on this forum at least.
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Unread 11-06-2011, 07:39 PM
 
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,694 posts, read 15,396,441 times
Reputation: 11862
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ro2113 View Post
Why do you assume that only men try to cling to these gender roles?
Just as many traditional women as there are traditional men.
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Unread 11-06-2011, 08:17 PM
 
Location: Texas
26,036 posts, read 19,178,588 times
Reputation: 29535
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ro2113 View Post
Why do you assume that only men try to cling to these gender roles?
I don't assume that at all. I was just addressing a post about men not liking it when a woman *does not* wish to abide by the roles.
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Unread 11-06-2011, 10:32 PM
 
479 posts, read 320,595 times
Reputation: 426
Quote:
Originally Posted by Braunwyn View Post
I don't see either gender engaging in this kind of speak offline, nor do I come across the men and women from bridezillas, but that has to do with my social circles.
You're absolutely correct. In that we all tend to live in our own "bubbles" or frames of references. One can go ten miles in any given direction; and what individuals have agreed upon as being socially acceptable behavior/conversation. Differs, or common words take on slightly differing nuiances.
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