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Old 11-06-2011, 11:23 AM
 
1,741 posts, read 1,246,597 times
Reputation: 1570
Quote:
Originally Posted by MysticalDream View Post
You say that like it is a bad thing... Nagging, whining, superficial and stuck-up girls haven't given me the time of day. FYI, I haven't given them the time of day.


This is exactly it, American women are married to the careers first, friends second and husbands third. Why on earth should see sacrifice her career and friends to appease the whims of some man?? American women are not loyal and are generally self-absorbed. My advice is to find an Eastern woman, who will follow you anywhere you go and will sacrifice her career to serve her leader, her husband. That's right, IMO, the man is the head of the house. When two people are kings of the house, they end up divorce, hence the case of hindsight here. I feel for you and glad you made the right choice. In a way, she divorced you, you did not divorce her, because you did what you had to do to survive and she being the woman, should have submitted to her husband. I know you don't agree with what I am saying maybe, but somehow I think, inwardly, you do.

I'm sorry, I am not going to let some selfish woman take my children from me because she found a good career somewhere else and now needs a divorce. I want a hard-working, humble and modest woman who can accept sacrifices in a career to stay married. And no, being the man, I will not submit to the woman and let her support the family.
I've actually been thinking about this, A woman from a culture where women still look up to her man rather than have a mile-long demands-list of what she's entitled to would probably apprechiate a sincere stand-up guy a lot more...

We all have our ideals of how we want things, but it's tricky enough to meet people who are attracted to me who are also attractive for me.
And on top of that someone who shares our general view of how we want things seems damned near impossible.
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Old 11-06-2011, 11:27 AM
 
479 posts, read 367,890 times
Reputation: 437
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dewdrop93 View Post
Did you read the article? Did you just ignore all that stuff about a nagging wife, a fiancé that forces you to spend a fortune on a ring, a wife with her emotional storms, a wife that wants to spend all your money on clothes for her and not toys for you???

Waiting until you find the right person, getting yourself in order before committing your life to someone else, making sure you are making the right choices for the right reasons - these are good ideas. However, these were not the only things the article was saying. It is possible to talk about these things without being completely derogatory to women and this article did not succeed in that.
Have you ever watched "Bridzilla"? I don't think either of us could say that those types of women do not exist. Indeed, it's good that there's someone for everyone out there. Even the "lowest common denominators" in any given society.

Hell, there are a gazillion Women's magazines and websites that read like a male bashing brigade. I take no issue with those being, those types of men exist. Both sexes are generally on their best behavior at first. Exactly what's wrong with discussing generally agreeable red flags?
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Old 11-06-2011, 11:31 AM
 
479 posts, read 367,890 times
Reputation: 437
Quote:
Originally Posted by SwedishViking View Post
I've actually been thinking about this, A woman from a culture where women still look up to her man rather than have a mile-long demands-list of what she's entitled to would probably apprechiate a sincere stand-up guy a lot more...

We all have our ideals of how we want things, but it's tricky enough to meet people who are attracted to me who are also attractive for me.
And on top of that someone who shares our general view of how we want things seems damned near impossible.
You've brought up something I find generally undesirable in today's society. The sense of "entitlement." I don't want for a woman to "look-up" to me. I'd just want for a relationship based upon mutual respect.

Clearly defined roles. An equal opportunity to be unique individuals; a relationship absent of manipulation and/or control. That's a tall order today...a rare find indeed.
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Old 11-06-2011, 11:32 AM
 
Location: Katonah, NY
15,791 posts, read 7,900,857 times
Reputation: 15658
Quote:
Originally Posted by tegota View Post
Have you ever watched "Bridzilla"? I don't think either of us could say that those types of women do not exist. Indeed, it's good that there's someone for everyone out there. Even the "lowest common denominators" in any given society.

Hell, there are a gazillion Women's magazines and websites that read like a male bashing brigade. I take no issue with those being, those types of men exist. Both sexes are generally on their best behavior at first. Exactly what's wrong with discussing generally agreeable red flags?
The article didn't make a distinction between different types of women. The article didn't say - wait until you find the right person - don't settle for someone who nags, makes you buy expensive things, etc. - the right woman is out there and she will make your life better. The article made it sound like it was better to be single because once you get married - this is the kind of stuff you are going to have to put up with. Enjoy being single while you can because women are awful and once you get married - you are going to have to spend of your life listening to her nag and whine.

For the record - I don't read Women's magazines. I also don't go to websites that bash men. I find gender bashing distasteful for either gender.
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Old 11-06-2011, 11:34 AM
 
Location: Heartland Florida
8,338 posts, read 15,814,598 times
Reputation: 3836
I have always felt that unless you are seeking to mate and reproduce, the female partner is not needed.
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Old 11-06-2011, 11:37 AM
 
1,390 posts, read 800,743 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tallrick View Post
I have always felt that unless you are seeking to mate and reproduce, the female partner is not needed.
What are you, a bear?
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Old 11-06-2011, 11:41 AM
 
19,081 posts, read 11,628,050 times
Reputation: 13212
Quote:
Originally Posted by MysticalDream View Post
My advice is to find an Eastern woman, who will follow you anywhere you go and will sacrifice her career to serve her leader, her husband. That's right, IMO, the man is the head of the house.
Of course, you're opinion does not matter to anyone but you and perhaps the woman you share your life with if you find her. It is my opinion that men are not the leaders to any, but themselves. It's highly individual and broad brushes don't really apply.

Quote:
Originally Posted by tegota View Post
Have you ever watched "Bridzilla"? I don't think either of us could say that those types of women do not exist. Indeed, it's good that there's someone for everyone out there. Even the "lowest common denominators" in any given society.
Yea, they're typically socioeconomically depressed women marrying socioeconomically depressed men. Likes going with likes.

Quote:
Hell, there are a gazillion Women's magazines and websites that read like a male bashing brigade. I take no issue with those being, those types of men exist. Both sexes are generally on their best behavior at first. Exactly what's wrong with discussing generally agreeable red flags?
I read the article. Much of it, as with many posts in this thread, is devoid of logic. The title is the first clue. Men, by and large, do not prefer to be single. They marry for the second, third, etc times at greater rates than women. As single women age they report a greater sense of well being, health, and life satisfaction. That's not the case for men and it's no secret. To me, the article and OP was an attempt to convince. That's not a discussion of red flags. Besides, a discussion of red flags starts with the individual, not generalizations of a population.

Quote:
Originally Posted by SwedishViking View Post
I've actually been thinking about this, A woman from a culture where women still look up to her man rather than have a mile-long demands-list of what she's entitled to would probably apprechiate a sincere stand-up guy a lot more...

We all have our ideals of how we want things, but it's tricky enough to meet people who are attracted to me who are also attractive for me.
And on top of that someone who shares our general view of how we want things seems damned near impossible.
Looking up to. What does that mean? We should respect our partners, value their insight and skill. This goes both ways in a relationship between two intelligent, successful people.
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Old 11-06-2011, 11:41 AM
 
8,681 posts, read 7,219,019 times
Reputation: 14923
Quote:
Originally Posted by MysticalDream View Post
This is exactly it, American women are married to the careers first, friends second and husbands third. Why on earth should see sacrifice her career and friends to appease the whims of some man??
Indeed, why should she? There is no reason for her to. The whims of some man, even a husband, are not the be-all and end-all of a woman's purpose in life.

In fact, I thought of this thread when I saw this a few moments ago:

[URL="http://www.aol.com/video/youve-got-iris-krasnow/517194263/"]AOL.com Video - You've Got Iris Krasnow[/URL]
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Old 11-06-2011, 11:42 AM
 
Location: Jacksonville, FL (Northside)
2,908 posts, read 3,506,210 times
Reputation: 2699
Quote:
Originally Posted by hindsight2020 View Post
My exwife refused to relocate with me due to my career. Though not the causal reason for the divorce, it could have easily been. When we divorced, I sold the house in city A and took a position in one of the locations she had raised issues with. As a result my income doubled, my expenses dropped (no more buying food and shelter for two people) and my disposable income skyrocketed. My retirement savings are now safe from usurping and my savings rate is aggressive and not under scrutiny. I feel at ease in making large financial decisions and also feel the same freedom from scrutiny in my discretionary purchases.

The job location will once again likely change in some years down the road and as a single man I will be able to once again make moves and decisions that will protect my livelihood and secure my finances without having to forego them due to the emotional anchoring of another person. Most naysayers would jump on the bandwagon of saying:" well, if you had picked the right person, if you had chosen women with this qualities versus those qualities, if if if". 'IF' is garbage, 'IS' is what matters. "IF" is running in circles with your head cut off trying to desperately push a square peg through a round hole under trying to fit into a societal definition that society itself doesn't know why it pushes other than "well, because that's the way we've always done it", which is the story of the monkeys and the banana and the firehose. After you introduce enough new monkeys and remove all the monkeys that have been hit by the firehose, you get a bunch of monkeys that have never been hit by the firehose stop a the new monkeys from going for the banana even though they don't know why other than that was the behavior exhibited by the group when they themselves got to the room.

The fact remains I would still be screwed in town A, making half of what I make, unable to take on opportunities because I would have been playing to the preferences of another human being. Thats not wrong or immoral, but objectively limiting versus the single scenario. There's no amount of spinning that can dismiss that objective difference. And that is but one element to the benefits of being single in an age where the marital contract no longer adds security to the average higher earning spouse. To be fair, these qualities are gender neutral. Women of the same lifestyle and aspirations would find the same benefits in staying single.

The reality is that in order for me to exceed the opportunity cost of being single financially and personally, takes such an incredibly high set of descriptors in my potential partners, that at least from my cursory dating experience, it is simply highly unlikely said person exists or has any intention of developing a relationship with me. Finding these qualities is like a lock, you have to align all the planetary gears. It can be done, but it is simply statistically too demanding. The problem is that people are really NOT that all picky, and we can say with a fairly good level of confidence that most relationships ARE settled, and not in miniscule ways, but in rather profound and conceding ways because honestly that is what is required to keep relationships together through what is socially such diverging economic and personal interests. We're too nomadic of a society to frankly have that much in common with each other. Yeah,some couples are happy in their choices; most of the ones I've come in contact with simply accept a lot of settling in order to gain some elements of paired living. It's notwrong, but it is hardly a wise choice for most.

A woman has to be such a rare combination of naturally good looks, sexual desire AND compatibility, agreeable disposition, intelligent presence and grounded way of carrying herself in order for me to compromise my livelihood that it is simply too tall an order to either consider seriously or put my life on hold for. This once again and for full disclosure is also valid from the female perspective. I am hardly the archetype for which a proverbial female career woman would forego her livelihood for. She could, but why should she? For love? LOL Please. Let's grow up. I expect her to put her career first and then consider my company if it is compatible, which it isn't because I'm chasing my own. It is what it is.

This has nothing to do with loneliness. Yes Im lonely at times, but that gets solved with the occasional FB or an outing with a group. Temporary loneliness isn't worth my livelihood and freedom to pursue my life in order to maximize my security and discretionary lifestyle. But hey, Im still open to the idea of meeting said compatible statistical outlier.
Exactly. The woman you were with couldn't respect your drive so it was in your best interest she left.

Quote:
Originally Posted by stan4 View Post
If by more masculine, you mean wanting to be in charge, maybe it's american men who need to grow more cojones. Or just grow up. You don't get to be the boss of everything just cuz you have penie. If you need to go find a third world woman who agrees that your genitals allow you some special powers, then I guess that is what you are going to have to do.

The whole concept of masculine and feminine roles is so last century. Only the most insecure guys would insist that their partners abide by those outdated 'rules' of conduct. They are clinging desperately to the last thing that makes them special and sets them apart...the privilege of having Senor Dangly and the Swingin' Boys. Sorry. You're just going to have to offer more in this day and age.
It's only last century to those who don't respect tradition, that feel that you have to challenge your man on EVERY FRONT. Sorry, but I don't want a woman that challenges me 24-7. I've said time and again on this board that I'm old-school, make no apologies for that If that makes me insecure than oh well (even though I'm not). I just have the sense enough to know that having a mate who constantly bucks up against you can take its toll. There's a time to speak up and a time to remain silent. Most women haven't learned this, and sadly many never will. And women are going to have to offer more than what's between their legs or their curves/T&A.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Braunwyn View Post
What's funny about this is that out of one side of your mouths you'll claim masculine women this and that. Then, out of the other side of your mouths you'll harp on women and their "beauty" products; how much time women spend getting ready to look good, how superficial women are for spending time on their looks, how too prudish, how slutty, bla bla.
I never said a woman was superficial for spending time on her looks. What makes her superficial is her belief that a man should worship the ground she walks on; that she should look good without bringing anything else to the table. That may work on the low self-esteem men but not Ronnie (yes, that's my name, not Ron. on this board). Any man would appreciate a woman who takes time to look good.
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Old 11-06-2011, 11:43 AM
 
19,081 posts, read 11,628,050 times
Reputation: 13212
Quote:
Originally Posted by tegota View Post
You've brought up something I find generally undesirable in today's society. The sense of "entitlement." I don't want for a woman to "look-up" to me. I'd just want for a relationship based upon mutual respect.

Clearly defined roles. An equal opportunity to be unique individuals; a relationship absent of manipulation and/or control. That's a tall order today...a rare find indeed.
I don't know if it's a tall order, but I agree with your values.
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