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Old 11-13-2011, 03:48 AM
 
Location: The Present
2,006 posts, read 4,299,665 times
Reputation: 1987

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Nothing at all wrong here, don't over rationalize and shoot yourself in the foot.

Just bang and keep it moving young padawan.
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Old 11-13-2011, 04:13 AM
 
249 posts, read 472,772 times
Reputation: 293
I have a better question for you, if you enjoy the girl that is LTR material why would you give yourself to someone that you find unworthy of actually dating seriously but is only good for sex? Isn't that kinda sleazy? Even if you are not in a committed relationship, it sounds like you are building the foundations for one, why compromise something that has real potential, for arbitrary sex with someone. I don't understand ? Based on all the other people's post your suppose to date many people simultaneously and still have a friend that you use for sex, while trying to build the foundations for a potential long term relationship with one of the people you are dating. Have I got this right ? Is this what everyone is doing now?
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Old 11-13-2011, 04:49 AM
 
18,270 posts, read 14,396,687 times
Reputation: 12985
You should ask the girl in question what her views are on relationships and do it without scaring her. I could tell you to keep on dating others, but you are the one who is going to get dumped if she is the type that doesn't think you should be having sex with other women. Maybe she doesn't care at all, but only she can tell you this.
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Old 11-13-2011, 05:13 AM
 
Location: Iowa, Heartland of Murica
3,425 posts, read 6,298,008 times
Reputation: 3446
Quote:
Originally Posted by aleecya View Post
I have a better question for you, if you enjoy the girl that is LTR material why would you give yourself to someone that you find unworthy of actually dating seriously but is only good for sex? Isn't that kinda sleazy? Even if you are not in a committed relationship, it sounds like you are building the foundations for one, why compromise something that has real potential, for arbitrary sex with someone. I don't understand ? Based on all the other people's post your suppose to date many people simultaneously and still have a friend that you use for sex, while trying to build the foundations for a potential long term relationship with one of the people you are dating. Have I got this right ? Is this what everyone is doing now?
You make some great points and I don't disagree with anything you have said but last night, I just felt like I wanted to hook up with a female other than the girl I have been seeing.

I have never cheated on any girl I have been with and I don't believe in cheating, hmm, it is hard to rationalize my behavior last night it but hooking up with this girl last night was just what I needed!

I got home last night and I was feeling great, now I am looking forward to seeing my FWB Fri night and the other girl, Saturday afternoon. I don't see myself as a "player" or a "jerk" though, I just have needs and each girl fullfils a different need, for right now, anyways!

I really don't see how I am "using" my FWB, our relationship has always been about lust and sex and as far as I know, and it has always been a MUTUAL agreement.

She was very happy last night because she wanted to see this movie and she is going through some financial problems, we had a great time, I felt like it was just what I needed!
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Old 11-13-2011, 05:22 AM
 
Location: Iowa, Heartland of Murica
3,425 posts, read 6,298,008 times
Reputation: 3446
Quote:
Originally Posted by temptation001 View Post
You should ask the girl in question what her views are on relationships and do it without scaring her. I could tell you to keep on dating others, but you are the one who is going to get dumped if she is the type that doesn't think you should be having sex with other women. Maybe she doesn't care at all, but only she can tell you this.
You are absolutely right! If the girl in question wanted to be my girlfriend TODAY, I would say YES, I would drop all this other stuff and I would focus on her ONLY but I feel like we are not there yet.

I really don't want to be the one coming across as "pushy" or pressuring her. I talked to her about a week ago about her expectations, what she thought of our "relationship" so far, she thinks that there will be a time when we both will have that conversation about wanting to be boyfriend/girlfriend and it will be a mutual thing, which I totally agree, I don't see a need to specify a date, so far everything has been happening slowly but very naturally.

As a matter of fact, I think what has kept both of our interested is the fact that we are getting to know each other, slowly, and I have already told her that I am not in a rush and willing to take my time with her, she feels the same way.
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Old 11-13-2011, 05:34 AM
 
Location: St Thomas, US Virgin Islands
24,665 posts, read 69,567,744 times
Reputation: 26727
If you were perfectly confident in your behavior you wouldn't have asked for opinions but obviously everything now is clearly justified to your satisfaction. I'm no moral arbiter but in this case I just have a feeling that next Friday's assignation isn't going to work out too well for you in the aftermath!
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Old 11-13-2011, 05:41 AM
 
Location: Western Europe
56 posts, read 79,626 times
Reputation: 86
How would you feel if the girl you've been dating has sex with another guy, even though you're not in a relationship yet?
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Old 11-13-2011, 05:44 AM
 
Location: Iowa, Heartland of Murica
3,425 posts, read 6,298,008 times
Reputation: 3446
Quote:
Originally Posted by tikamoi View Post
How would you feel if the girl you've been dating has sex with another guy, even though you're not in a relationship yet?
It is none of my business, I am not her Dad and we are not in a relationship, she is free to do whatever she wants!
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Old 11-13-2011, 05:58 AM
 
Location: St Thomas, US Virgin Islands
24,665 posts, read 69,567,744 times
Reputation: 26727
Quote:
Originally Posted by Repubocrat View Post
It is none of my business, I am not her Dad and we are not in a relationship, she is free to do whatever she wants!
Very good and noble. Just bear that in mind if she finds out about your intimate shenanigans with the "FWB" and decides she doesn't want to see you any more. Should such occur, prepare to be thoroughly lambasted if you start a thread bemoaning the fact.
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Old 11-13-2011, 08:35 AM
 
1,960 posts, read 4,653,279 times
Reputation: 5416
Quote:
Originally Posted by STT Resident View Post
Very good and noble. Just bear that in mind if she finds out about your intimate shenanigans with the "FWB" and decides she doesn't want to see you any more. Should such occur, prepare to be thoroughly lambasted if you start a thread bemoaning the fact.
Bingo. We're jealous creatures. Nobody is that genuinely aloof. We're monkeys, we get miffed, easy. Ive said it once and I'll say it again. People work through incentives. People have terrible poker faces when it comes to their Plan A. When a person comes along that you're head over heels for, people drop the act and go "VFR Direct" to that person's space and attention. This whole *Aldous Snow voice* 'yeeeeah, im playing it by ear, chick's cool but I do this one on the side, see aboot it, see abooot t'it" antic is artificial in the context of what most people are looking for.
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