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Old 06-07-2008, 07:13 PM
 
2 posts, read 10,212 times
Reputation: 14

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First, I'd like to direct the skeptics to relatively recent F-MRI research that conclusively demonstrates ADHD as a neurological disorder, best understood as dysfunction in respect of executive function. Just because we (thankfully) live in a market economy does not mean that the use of pharmaceuticals must always be the result of response to successful and/or subversive marketing.

Second, I would just like to confirm that, to the best of my knowledge, there has been absolutely no verification of any sort of co-relation between infidelity and ADHD. I work in a different profession, but have studied ADHD intensively since having received a diagnosis from a neuro-psychiatrist last year, at age 39 (and only after numerous appointments and extensive testing).

I would like to draw your attention to research that indicates how those suffering from type-1 bipolar disorder are at a higher risk of engaging in high risk behaviour, including infidelity. I understand this phenomenon personally, as my first wife did engage in an uncharacteristic affair approximately 4 years into the marriage and never came near to doing so again. She was diagnosed at bipolar in our 12th year of marriage and committed suicide just a couple of months before our 13th anniversary.

Accordingly, as you might imagine, I undertook the necessary secondary research on bipolar disorders and it is from this experience that I make the suggestion that perhaps your spouse is actually a rapid-cycling bipolar-2 (i.e. somebody who maybe doesn't get to full-blown mania, but who still experiences hypomanic episodes and is prone to otherwise relatively unexplainable mood swings). In this regard, I should mention that in my experience the bipolar will always have a seemingly good excuse for the mood shift, but if one analyses the situation from a distance, the real circumstances may be revealed.

The other reason for my suggestion of bipolar disorder is that it is very easy for a general practitioner or psychiatrist to mistake the symptoms of bipolar disorder for ADHD and vice versa. Some also believe that there is a significant degree of co-morbidity as between ADHD and bipolar disorder (i.e. the ADHD'er is at elevated risk of having both disorders). I do not subscribe to this belief, as the scientific jury is still out on that one.

Of course, infidelity can be a result of moral turpitude, or (as you noted in a later post) one could just be wrong about, or misreading signals from, one's spouse. But if your spouse is either bipolar or adhd/bipolar, you may have reason to ponder the matter. I would only caution that administering ADHD medications, such as stimulants or atypical antidepressants such as Buproprion, to someone with bipolar disorder (masquerading or misdiagnosed as ADHD) has been shown to significantly increase the risk of sparking a manic or hypo-manic episode in someone who is suffering from (but normally unaware of her own) bipolar disorder.

I hope the situation resolved over the past year. It just seemed to me that the discussion should not end on such an unedifying note.
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Old 06-08-2008, 10:10 PM
 
Location: Minneeeesoootah
3,500 posts, read 4,574,812 times
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People with ADHD have a hard time with everything. They are much more sexually active, they act impulsively. My son has ADHD, he is 24 and his life is very erratic. He has cheated on everyone and has had many many girlfriends. ADHD runs in my family, my brother and all 3 of his boys have it. The boys are 19-23 they all have very similar problems including my brother. I don't think they can stop cheating. It is hyper sexualized behavior. Its part of their wiring. Substance abuse is also a problem, they like to (self medicate) (just to take the edge off). Having a stable life, regardless if its a job or permanent address, is hard for them.
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Old 06-08-2008, 10:21 PM
 
Location: Bradenton, Florida
27,237 posts, read 27,163,572 times
Reputation: 10607
Yes. I am impulsive. No--my impulsiveness has not really affected ME pursuing women. I tend to let THEM pursue me. Then I'm usually quick to say yes...unless I'm in a relationship already! My impulsivity never interferes with my fidelity. It's a point of honor.
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Old 06-08-2008, 11:33 PM
 
Location: Denver
1,084 posts, read 2,920,424 times
Reputation: 465
Default ADHD/ADD and impulsivity

A couple of posters may have implied that there is no data or studies that connect impulsivity or impulse control, that sometimes coexists with ADHD or ADD, with "infidelity". This is not true. In the most recent studies of adolescent sexual behavior, it is becoming apparent that adolescents with one of these conditions are more likely to act out in sexually inappropriate ways, and more likely to act out earlier, than adolescents who do NOT have one of these conditions. This does suggest that the impulsiveness feature is at least a contributing factor.

As for the morality argument, all I can say is, go read the early anthropologists like Margaret Mead. Morality is culturally dependent.
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Old 06-09-2008, 12:04 AM
 
25,169 posts, read 34,398,254 times
Reputation: 6709
are you sure there isn't a little bit of Bipolar in that??? ADHD could be mistaken for mania??

Quote:
Originally Posted by asitshouldbe View Post
People with ADHD have a hard time with everything. They are much more sexually active, they act impulsively. My son has ADHD, he is 24 and his life is very erratic. He has cheated on everyone and has had many many girlfriends. ADHD runs in my family, my brother and all 3 of his boys have it. The boys are 19-23 they all have very similar problems including my brother. I don't think they can stop cheating. It is hyper sexualized behavior. Its part of their wiring. Substance abuse is also a problem, they like to (self medicate) (just to take the edge off). Having a stable life, regardless if its a job or permanent address, is hard for them.
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Old 06-09-2008, 12:49 AM
 
Location: AR
564 posts, read 1,589,720 times
Reputation: 554
Quote:
Originally Posted by John stanman View Post
My wife has ADHD and she has strong changeable mood swings and another known symtoms for people with ADHD is to ignore details; makes careless mistakes.

-John
Uh, are you sure she doesn't do this but just one week out of the month?

'Cause, bud, if that's true, it ain't ADHD....
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Old 06-09-2008, 08:43 AM
 
Location: New Hampsha
1,526 posts, read 1,668,684 times
Reputation: 522
no, adhd wont lead to cheating. my adhd causes spur of the moment dumb-ass mistakes, that i usually realise was dumb 30 seconds later
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Old 06-22-2008, 03:59 AM
 
2 posts, read 10,212 times
Reputation: 14
Talking Generalisations

Quote:
Originally Posted by asitshouldbe View Post
People with ADHD have a hard time with everything. They are much more sexually active, they act impulsively. My son has ADHD, he is 24 and his life is very erratic. He has cheated on everyone and has had many many girlfriends. ADHD runs in my family, my brother and all 3 of his boys have it. The boys are 19-23 they all have very similar problems including my brother. I don't think they can stop cheating. It is hyper sexualized behavior. Its part of their wiring. Substance abuse is also a problem, they like to (self medicate) (just to take the edge off). Having a stable life, regardless if its a job or permanent address, is hard for them.
I hate to be negative, but you are painting with an extremely broad brush here. While impulse control is obviously negatively impacted by any impairment of executive function, to attribute your son's apparent sexual proclivities to ADHD does a disservice to those of us who have ADHD and an ability to be faithful to a partner. Indeed, adoption of a strong and stable relationship is an excellent coping mechanism for the ADHD patient.

But if we are going to indulge ourselves in generalisation, I will see yours and raise you. Perhaps it is that your son, in his relative youth, has had many girlfriends and demonstrated a lack of fidelity because his generation has very different mores and values concerning sexual behaviour. I am guessing you are a boomer (I am not one). Perhaps it's generational karma that the people who thought they were so sexually free and otherwise socially permissive when they were young have sired a generation even more narcissistic and rudderless than they could have ever hoped to be?

But then that's the danger in indulging in broad generalisations, isn't it?

Last edited by griwei; 06-22-2008 at 04:13 AM..
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Old 06-22-2008, 04:38 AM
 
Location: Bradenton, Florida
27,237 posts, read 27,163,572 times
Reputation: 10607
I agree with the above poster, MOST men in their twenties tend to be very sexually active...it's all about the "conquest" for them. I'd rather have ONE that will stick around for a long time.
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Old 11-09-2008, 03:36 PM
 
2 posts, read 5,652 times
Reputation: 10
ADHD has nothing to do with the ability to tell right from wrong.
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