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Old 11-11-2011, 12:04 AM
 
Location: USA
4,983 posts, read 5,337,514 times
Reputation: 2506

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I am done with this thread, because like so many other threads on here, it gets ruined by the jabbers.
There were some good responses from serious folks, but so many use threads like this to attack and take jabs at the poster. They don't know how to discuss things without trying to put someone down.

To the people who posted the good stuff, thank you.
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Old 11-11-2011, 12:55 AM
 
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
9,510 posts, read 12,071,755 times
Reputation: 9109
Quote:
Originally Posted by nebulous1 View Post
Why it is crappy being older.


Life kept me really busy since my divorce. That's another story, and not the focus of my post here.

I was busy going to school, earning a living, supporting my kids. I didn't have much time for any social life, especially when I worked nights and weekends. Or when I had to move 3 times in 10 years to stay employed.

In the decade I have been divorced, I have had very few dates. I find it very hard to meet men, so, online dating seemed like a good idea. Bad idea. Lots of gameplayers and marrieds on them. I found that now that I am over 50, no one contacts me. I get told I look young for my age. I don't have man hair. I haven't lost my, ahem, drive.

But no one contacts me because they can't get past the age. I looked at a lot of the profiles of men +/- 10 years of my age. Okay, not to be critical, but I will be critical, because this is the same criteria they use...they look old. And they are rejecting me. Do they really think they are going to get someone who would be their daughter's age to date them? Maybe if they have tons of money, but that is a whole other game, the golddigger.

When I try to contact someone, I get rejected, bounced, because I am not the right age for their parameters.

It pains me to think I might go to my grave not ever really knowing and loving a man, or being loved back. I always thought it was something that would happen in life. I wonder if anyone falls in love anymore, or is it simply lust.

All of this screening, long, scripted profiles...seems to somehow take away from the sheer enjoyment of trying to meet someone.

Someone sees one little thing, and bingo, they move on. Like a kid in a candy store, the ribbon candy comes in about 50 flavors and colors. He just can't make up his mind. And he just can't chose one, because something better just might come along.

I wonder if others feel like I do. I hear that the divorce rate is 50%, but I don't see 50% of the adults from 21 to 99 as singles. Everyone seems to be married. Men say they don't want to be "tied down", "lose their freedom", etc., but how come so many are married? Just to have kids?

There is nothing wrong with me. I don't have a third eye. I am intelligent and a decent person. I am traditional, but I get the feeling that gets interpreted to mean dull or boring, and I don't think I am. I am not trying to brag, this is just my own assessment of me.

Where are the decent people? Please don't say "church" because churches are families, and nothing is colder than being around a lot families when you are single.

Is it a lost cause for anyone over 50?
Hell no it's not a lost cause for over 50. I still get lots of looks and come-ons at 53. No less than I ever did. The only difference is the men are older than they used to be, usually around 40 up. But that's good by me. I'm not into younger men at all. If a man catches my eye he's usually at least mid 40s or older.

I can't say what you're doing or not doing but I can tell you this; some people have a certain look about them that says they're looking. They give off a certain vibe. A lot of people avoid that look. You have to learn how to control it so it looks like you're oblivious and/or not looking while at the same time staying approachable. Tricky. Very tricky. But doable.
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Old 11-11-2011, 07:56 AM
 
Location: On our boat!
5,683 posts, read 10,538,107 times
Reputation: 3197
AND, as I explained in the Retirement forum, I like to kid around/joke with people! You are still trying to make being single the very best thing in the world to be and for a lot of us..........it's NOT and we are extremely glad that we met "Mr or Mrs Right" and got married! For you and others who love being single, that is your choice and that's fine, but just don't make "being single" as the best way to be! You've made it very clear to EVERYONE that you don't want a man/"Mr Right" and love being single......very clear. But, then again, I try to make it "very clear" to people that there's absolutely NOTHING wrong with being in a relationship/married.
"To each their own" I guess.


Quote:
Originally Posted by AZDesertBrat View Post
You and I have 'sorta' had this conversation before, in the Retirement forum. I don't WANT a "Mr. Right". I was speaking of the "frustration, etc." of being single and wanting a partner. Not wanting one doesn't lead to that.
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Old 11-11-2011, 08:36 AM
 
Location: Houston, Tx
7,686 posts, read 4,743,799 times
Reputation: 7692
Quote:
Originally Posted by nebulous1 View Post
What the heck?

Someone sent me a scathing letter via the Reputation Posts. I thought that was pretty cowardly, since they didn't even post their name.


Your "you are rushing around aimlessly" is based on nothing, since you don't know my life.
Stand still? Long enough?
Who are you to tell me I talk too much? You don't know me. And prefacing it with "this is not an attack"...I thought it was really odd.
This whole thread was to compare experiences, not put me up on the chopping block.
That's what some of these losers do on here, and it is cowardly. If you have a problem with what I said, use the quote button, state your opinion then I can respond.
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Old 11-11-2011, 09:03 AM
 
Location: Asheville, Nc
3,978 posts, read 2,541,701 times
Reputation: 2615
Personally I wouldn't want to be 50 plus and single these days. Being single is hard enough at that age I would think it's even harder.
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Old 11-11-2011, 09:14 AM
 
2,997 posts, read 2,819,040 times
Reputation: 1716
Quote:
Originally Posted by nebulous1 View Post
Why it is crappy being older.


Life kept me really busy since my divorce. That's another story, and not the focus of my post here.

I was busy going to school, earning a living, supporting my kids. I didn't have much time for any social life, especially when I worked nights and weekends. Or when I had to move 3 times in 10 years to stay employed.

In the decade I have been divorced, I have had very few dates. I find it very hard to meet men, so, online dating seemed like a good idea. Bad idea. Lots of gameplayers and marrieds on them. I found that now that I am over 50, no one contacts me. I get told I look young for my age. I don't have man hair. I haven't lost my, ahem, drive.

But no one contacts me because they can't get past the age. I looked at a lot of the profiles of men +/- 10 years of my age. Okay, not to be critical, but I will be critical, because this is the same criteria they use...they look old. And they are rejecting me. Do they really think they are going to get someone who would be their daughter's age to date them? Maybe if they have tons of money, but that is a whole other game, the golddigger.

When I try to contact someone, I get rejected, bounced, because I am not the right age for their parameters.

It pains me to think I might go to my grave not ever really knowing and loving a man, or being loved back. I always thought it was something that would happen in life. I wonder if anyone falls in love anymore, or is it simply lust.

All of this screening, long, scripted profiles...seems to somehow take away from the sheer enjoyment of trying to meet someone.

Someone sees one little thing, and bingo, they move on. Like a kid in a candy store, the ribbon candy comes in about 50 flavors and colors. He just can't make up his mind. And he just can't chose one, because something better just might come along.

I wonder if others feel like I do. I hear that the divorce rate is 50%, but I don't see 50% of the adults from 21 to 99 as singles. Everyone seems to be married. Men say they don't want to be "tied down", "lose their freedom", etc., but how come so many are married? Just to have kids?

There is nothing wrong with me. I don't have a third eye. I am intelligent and a decent person. I am traditional, but I get the feeling that gets interpreted to mean dull or boring, and I don't think I am. I am not trying to brag, this is just my own assessment of me.

Where are the decent people? Please don't say "church" because churches are families, and nothing is colder than being around a lot families when you are single.

Is it a lost cause for anyone over 50?
Im over 50 and a divorced Male . I tried the secular Online Dating Sites and Magazine Dating in my locale , and found a couple of interesting ladies around my age . I went on a couple of dates with each but didnt feel much of a connection and compatibility . So, I started attending a Single Adult Ministry at a large church .. they had topics of interest at each gathering / food / refreshments and a chance to mingle afterwards. I found it to be a very comfortable , rewarding experience and i made some nice friends of the opposite sex as a result. I started concentrating on developing good friendships instead of having a marriage quest ..and not only did it take the pressure off but it led to some meaningful friendships. There is fulfillment by hanging in Singles circles such as this , and who knows where it might lead . I found alot of joy just in the journey . I hope the same for you .
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Old 11-11-2011, 09:19 AM
 
18,312 posts, read 17,719,661 times
Reputation: 18427
Quote:
Originally Posted by reed067 View Post
Personally I wouldn't want to be 50 plus and single these days. Being single is hard enough at that age I would think it's even harder.
Do you mean single, as in not married? Or as in, not in a relationship? Just curious. I'm single, but in a relationship.

How is being single "hard"? Are you someone that gets lonely easily? Do you have any kids?

I guess this is a bit off-topic...but your comments just struck me as being a little curious.
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Old 11-11-2011, 09:25 AM
 
Location: 39 20' 59"N / 75 30' 53"W
12,182 posts, read 12,682,022 times
Reputation: 13610
Some peeps can't be alone (without an SO). Its terrifying and means some how they're a loser.
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Old 11-11-2011, 09:26 AM
 
Location: Asheville, Nc
3,978 posts, read 2,541,701 times
Reputation: 2615
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChessieMom View Post
Do you mean single, as in not married? Or as in, not in a relationship? Just curious. I'm single, but in a relationship.

How is being single "hard"? Are you someone that gets lonely easily? Do you have any kids?

I guess this is a bit off-topic...but your comments just struck me as being a little curious.

I'm only guessing here. I don't have a personal problem being single but it's not easy being single being young either. Just look at some of the threads on here. I would think it get's harder with age. Again I'm just assuming. I mean not married.
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Old 11-11-2011, 09:28 AM
 
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
9,510 posts, read 12,071,755 times
Reputation: 9109
Quote:
Originally Posted by virgode View Post
Some peeps can't be alone (without an SO). Its terrifying and means some how they're a loser.
I'm seriously torn about marriage. I'm leaning toward staying single. I was married for 19 years and experienced more loneliness in that marriage than I ever have single. I cherish my freedom right now. Right now. That could change but I'm keeping my fingers crossed.
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