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Look my girl and I are going on 3months now but im still uncertain about where we stand. Im a teen.
Breakdown:
We see each other about 1-3 times a week due to my busy schedule I play sports. Mainly on weekends we see eachother (more likely to be once or twice a week).
She said she loves me before that word even came across my mind, I was suprised honestly because she said she doesn;t love people easily when we first met.
I only give her my time and company, I am not being used for anything.
She shows me a lack of support at times like today she didnt write me at all IDK what's that about. From the lack of support I had left one time, then I realized I think I do love her because I felt a piece missing i dont know how to explain. Then after that all I had was girls that are just worth messing with, who I had zero feelings for and my girl was just at the back of my mind.
I mean I still talk to other girls because she doesnt prove to me that I should stop. Like we are a roller coaster, her friend even jokes around and says she's bi-polar man idk.
One time she called me on the phone crying, talking about "I'm scared that you'll leave me because of how i act, i really love you. " Not the exact quote but you get the idea. She also says that she has a problem showing her true feelings when all I do is tell her things straight up, I want her to do the same like sometimes I feel like she doesnt care about us being together which is why I still mess with other girls.
I have girls I met and ex's writing me more than she does at times and it really kills me inside. Even though I have my opinions I really hope that its her when my phone has a message. sometimes I dont even write those other girls back, I guess I do love my girl but even though she felt love first, I still dont really feel it on her part.
I asked when did you decide you love me? "I started thinking about you alot, brung you up in conversations out of nowhere, I love your hugs and kisses and you holding me" then she said "i miss you" this was amazing LOL to get this out of her.
Also we spoke about showing feelings she said "I dont really show feelings because it would be like im feening" feening means like almost obsessed.
All I want is her attention most of the time to know that she's the one for me to put other girls down for, I try but at the back of my mind i think about the bad she does done.
Oh yes one last thing, she puts her friends before going to see me most times (her traveling to me). Like her friend is always around when I come see her (me traveling). Are they really that important?
She shows me a lack of support at times like today she didnt write me at all IDK what's that about. From the lack of support I had left one time, then I realized I think I do love her because I felt a piece missing i dont know how to explain. Then after that all I had was girls that are just worth messing with, who I had zero feelings for and my girl was just at the back of my mind.
...
I dont get it. Help!
What happened today that warranted her support and does she know you want her to write to her daily?
I don't think you're describing anything which I'd find as unusual in a teen relationship.
You are probably both finding your feet in the "real world", and don't know what to expect from a relationship.
This bit concerns me. "I have girls I met and ex's writing me more than she does at times".
Remember, she may not feel the same need for constant contact.
Alone time is very important in a relationship. Every bit as much as together time.
I used to text my g/f all the time for the first year, but I only found out one night when we were talking that it pissed her off and she would rather have peace during the day. Now we've reached a balance.
Learn how to talk to her. Not to text, or to just exchange words, but to really communicate. To talk about your feelings, your hopes, dreams, and wants. What yo uexpect from a relationship.
What you expect and what you get are often two different things, but if you knwo what each other excpects, then you can begin the compromising process which will lead to successful relationships.
"I have girls I met and ex's writing me more than she does at times and it really kills me inside. Even though I have my opinions I really hope that its her when my phone has a message. sometimes I dont even write those other girls back, I guess I do love my girl but even though she felt love first, I still dont really feel it on her part.'' In the second line i meant "even though I have my options, I really hope its her....."
Guys I was up because I had slept earlier and im not going to school today. But yea I hear what you guys are saying. Im not really the type of dude to fall for stuff like this IDK how this happened but im going to chill out. This is all im saying, the feelings are there but rarely shown on her part. I encounter other females but try to stay faithful although I can list reasons to not be. The space thing I dont understand I mean we see eachother mostly on weekends then still she's insensitive to the fact that we should contact eachother daily to let me know that we are on the same page.
Also the girl is bi so is that the problem? she showed me her girl one time and im cool with that lol. They go to the same school. So I should just continue see other chicks right? We spoke about that and she had gotten upset thinking of me with other girls. I think I have her to high in my priorities and I should just have fun with her. (I dont know how serious she is about the Bi thing, she said she just want to see how it feels)
But the girl is awesome man, Gorgeous, very fun to be around, she even likes me for what another girl would think is a flaw, she's everything I want and we do everything but just the communication while we are away is a problem. This sounds a little weak for a dude but im gonna man up and say it, talking to her satisfies me more than anything I'd ignore other girls text while we are in a convo because its her I really want and care for.
When we see each other everything is great but when she hears my phone alerts she thinks its another girl which it is most times but I say "your my girl, I love you im not cheating your my number 1" something like that then I kiss her. And she say's she doesn't trust me but trys to believe I love her. Its only because she doesn't shows her support all the time so yeah im a little insecure about us so I keep sidelines. Am I wrong?
So im learning not to think so much about the situation driving myself crazy, i got to relax and let things roll. Im gonna go have fun. I think she's just really confused.
P.S. I know im too young for the love word but what is this we are feeling? Im feeling this for the first time im not really a love dude though.
Last edited by AstonMartinNY; 11-10-2011 at 08:19 AM..
AstonMartinNY......so just because she doesn't write you as much as YOU want...you feel she is showing you a "lack of support"....You say that she needs to prove to you that you need to stop talking and "messing around" with other girls.....WHY??...If you ask me it's not her that's the problem...it's you.....you "think about the bad she does"...what about the bad (cheating for one) that YOU do.....I think you're too young to be in a respectful, and committed relationship with anyone at this time...you should just be honest with yourself and quit messing with this girls feelings...
Actually, having just re-read the OP, I must have missed the "messing around with other girls" bit.
That changes the advice slightly.
You moan about your girl not putting 100% into the relationship, while all the time, guess what, you're not putting 100% into the relationship.
Decide what you want, either comit yourself, or walk away
Quote:
Originally Posted by purehuman
AstonMartinNY......so just because she doesn't write you as much as YOU want...you feel she is showing you a "lack of support"....You say that she needs to prove to you that you need to stop talking and "messing around" with other girls.....WHY??...If you ask me it's not her that's the problem...it's you.....you "think about the bad she does"...what about the bad (cheating for one) that YOU do.....I think you're too young to be in a respectful, and committed relationship with anyone at this time...you should just be honest with yourself and quit messing with this girls feelings...
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I Think I Understand Now (continuation)
