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You know, I was emotionally and physically abused while growing up and I DO NOT use it as an excuse for my actions. If you are acting in a way that is not healthy that is a CHOICE. Just as it is my choice not to beat my child. Just because I was beaten and emotionally abused does not mean that I have to do the same.
It seems, from other posts here, you have been pretty much asking the same questions wanting different answers. If you are unable to control yourself and are not capable of making the right choices in your life you need to seek some sort of counseling that will help you deal with this.
You know, I was emotionally and physically abused while growing up and I DO NOT use it as an excuse for my actions. If you are acting in a way that is not healthy that is a CHOICE. Just as it is my choice not to beat my child. Just because I was beaten and emotionally abused does not mean that I have to do the same.
It seems, from other posts here, you have been pretty much asking the same questions wanting different answers. If you are unable to control yourself and are not capable of making the right choices in your life you need to seek some sort of counseling that will help you deal with this.
I concur with you on that fact: adults who were abused rarely reveal the hidden part of their lives to their friends, colleagues, etc. However, I did tell a coworker once, when things were just going terrible for me, but for the most part I've kept things bottled up for most of my life.
The only advice I can give you, and believe me, it's easier said than done, is to change your attitude about life and learn to protect yourself emotionally, psychologically and physically as well (think strong, be strong, and never cry again). I know it sounds corny, but you've got to learn to love yourself. Good luck.
I could not agree more with this piece of advice - I was abused by family emotionally when I was younger, and was in a physically abusive relationship when younger. I learned later in life that really it is all about your attitude, and that it's not really going to help telling the world. I would be more open about it when I was in my early 20's, going to counseling, etc. and really it blew up in my face. I couldn't even trust the counseler because they would twist things around from session to session, and try to give me pills at the drop of a hat based on my feelings that point in time, even though they would change based on life circumstances.
It wasn't till I realized that I have to change the perception and attitude inside myself, stop making excuses, and try to live the life I deserve. Life is going to change and have some lousy circumstances, it's up to you to take those lemons and make some lemonade out of them. Protect yourself first, this is what I loved about this post - it is so important. Not saying you can't give yourself a good cry once in a while, but you have to rely on yourself to get out of that slump and to move forward so you end the cycle of abuse in your life.
....Katie....don't EVER be afraid to start a new thread...and seek answers to your questions....no matter WHAT anyone else thinks of it....I'll never grow tired of listening to you, and can only hope that at some time...something I've said..will help you feel better about yourself.
If I were you, I'd not bring it up at all unless this person is really close enough that you think they can handle it. Otherwise it may come across as TMI and weird the other person out. I mean what do you say when somebody says "I was abused as a child"? That might be awkward for someone who's never been through it.
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