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Old 11-18-2011, 04:26 PM
 
12,673 posts, read 12,522,829 times
Reputation: 2500
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hagen View Post
my looks...are no more than 5.5 or 6 on a good day.....and no ...I don't have game....no success no game.....and that's ok.....I just feel like I 'm falling behind this whole relationship scene...and I have no experience at all....and the longer it goes the harder it gets to come out of it....much like quicksand...the more you fight the more you drawn...some times remaining still is the best option...
Success comes from failure. If failure was not part of the game then there would be no players.

Experience comes from failure.
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Old 11-18-2011, 04:50 PM
 
Location: 39 20' 59"N / 75 30' 53"W
11,996 posts, read 11,523,784 times
Reputation: 13355
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hagen View Post
Well...I'm truly tired of rejections...it's not that it bugs me , but after approaching literally hundreds of women..rejections were all I got...right now it just seams that approaching women is a big waste of time in my life...everyone says that all it takes is being " your self"...but lets be honest here....we all know that its not that simple.....there's a whole process before you can actually try the approach...and another whole process that you have to follow during( you have to show that you're funny, intelligent, have some financial security, gotta be tall and fit and this and that and don't do this ...oh...don't do that either...compliment here...never there... be kind but not too much...push and pull.....that's too much manipulation for my taste, ... and it's all a waste of energy with no positive feedback.....so I'm kinda quitting...for the first time in like 7 years ...


I don't know if you guys understand me ...but is it much of a difference if you approach or not?


I mean...yeah we can call this a " number's game" but...on my particular case..the odds are against me anyway...I feel like I should focus my time and energy on something that matters more than hearing .." Oh....sorry...but you're not my type"...
Just looked at your profile after posting in the other thread. You remind me of the guy in the movie "Where the Heart is" with Natalie Portman, a better looking version.

Really, hundreds of women, thats a high number for 20yr old. Do you approach them like you're desperate and needy? Perhaps you should slow it down and look at what it is you're saying to turn them all off.
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Old 11-18-2011, 05:45 PM
 
351 posts, read 211,297 times
Reputation: 580
To Hagen -

Just looked at your profile pic, and I must say...your approach must suck.

Now, I'm a straight guy, so I may not be the best judge, but you're a good-looking guy. Maybe get a hair cut, but that's about it.

I think the person who said that you seem angry about all the 'work' and that it may show is right. A lack of confidence is a huge turn-off to women. Only if you are a musician do they like someone who is sad and full of hurt.

Again, I think you're just in a rut. I'd say either relax and don't think of it as a chore. Or just take some time off and jump back in when you feel better about it.
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Old 11-18-2011, 05:51 PM
 
Location: Nevernever land
2,557 posts, read 1,872,181 times
Reputation: 4302
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hagen View Post
my looks...are no more than 5.5 or 6 on a good day.....and no ...I don't have game....no success no game.....and that's ok.....I just feel like I 'm falling behind this whole relationship scene...and I have no experience at all....and the longer it goes the harder it gets to come out of it....much like quicksand...the more you fight the more you drawn...some times remaining still is the best option...

That's part of your problem.. You downgrade yourself way too much. I know people who look much less but they would rate themselves an 8 or 9. It's all about confidence. You have to carry yourself as if you don't have a care in the world..Approach women "with the mindset that their lucky that you chose them". Seriously. I know this sounds co ky, arrogant, etc,..and to some degree it might be, but it works. Women like confident guys. Act like you have something to offer. Like some have already said, your going into the game with a very sad, negative mindframe. No wonder nothngs working. Would you expect a girl of similar attractiveness and the exact same attitude to easily meet guys. Put it this way, would you want to date yourself? Gloom and doom and very insecure.

At some point your going to have to forget all of the rejections of the past and change the way you think. This is the only way. Change the way you look at yourself, and then your approach will change. Instead of what you don't have to offer, figure our what you do have to offer. Let that inner light shine through.

And someone made a great point, and I've always believed this. When you are desparate-it shows. Don't know how or why that is, it just is. Stop looking for the right reasons. Not out of spite or anger towards women in general. Your too young to be this insecure already and this bitter towards women and yourself. Start looking at every day as a new journey. Don't talk to people with the intent of marrying them. Just be their friends. Hang out. Look for nothing,--then it will come. But you can't fake it. People sense that. You have to truly give up. And by giving up I mean stop looking and start enjoying life again. Your so young. You have so much time to find the right person. It is usually only when you stop looking that they come. Women as well as men can sense desperation..They can also senes a man with a sense of worth. Someone who walks to his own beat. Doesn't care what others think about them. And that my friend is what will make you attractive..

Oh, and show women that you can be fun. Act spontaneously at a party. Do a kickstand on a kegger or something. Yell and scream and act like your living life for the moment. Allow yourself to not be mature for once. Act like a dumb jock if that's how you would want to describe it. Just cut loose from your own chains...Women love that edgy, nutty, sort of don't know how to control or what to expect from someone guy. Especially at your age. Instead of being on your computer on a friday night complaining how you can't find a girl. Go to a party and cut loose..And I mean cut loose. I give you permission to have fun. Women are odd creatures...they like guys that can have fun...Weird ha?


Put it this way. Women don't want that little train that says, "I think I can, I think I can, I think I can". They want that guy that says I will. Stop taking yourself out of the game before the game even begins...

Good luck..

Smp

Last edited by supermanpansy; 11-18-2011 at 06:01 PM..
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Old 11-18-2011, 06:12 PM
 
Location: 39 20' 59"N / 75 30' 53"W
11,996 posts, read 11,523,784 times
Reputation: 13355
Even with a lack of confidence, 100 women is an unusally high number, or am I wrong....

Don't stare at their breasts, oogal, drool.

You might try forming friendships and see where they go, rather than a "cold calling" method, where starting conversations are awkward and setting yourself up for rejection and disappointment.
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Old 11-18-2011, 06:51 PM
 
Location: Los Angeles
61 posts, read 39,670 times
Reputation: 52
Quote:
Originally Posted by DrVanNostren View Post
To Hagen -

Just looked at your profile pic, and I must say...your approach must suck.

Now, I'm a straight guy, so I may not be the best judge, but you're a good-looking guy. Maybe get a hair cut, but that's about it.

I think the person who said that you seem angry about all the 'work' and that it may show is right. A lack of confidence is a huge turn-off to women. Only if you are a musician do they like someone who is sad and full of hurt.

Again, I think you're just in a rut. I'd say either relax and don't think of it as a chore. Or just take some time off and jump back in when you feel better about it.


Uh...I am a musician....yeah that's what I'm doing ...taking a time off....I'm going through college right now and helping my mom out with things here...so....girls are not my priority ....
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Old 11-18-2011, 06:56 PM
 
Location: Los Angeles
61 posts, read 39,670 times
Reputation: 52
Quote:
Originally Posted by virgode View Post
Even with a lack of confidence, 100 women is an unusally high number, or am I wrong....

Don't stare at their breasts, oogal, drool.

You might try forming friendships and see where they go, rather than a "cold calling" method, where starting conversations are awkward and setting yourself up for rejection and disappointment.

You know....being friends first never worked...and I think most people..at least men will agree with me on this....once you became friends...you are nothing more than the guy that the girl comes to cry when things are not going good...a switch from friends to couples is a too dramatic change...very utopic if you'd call it...
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Old 11-18-2011, 07:14 PM
 
2,870 posts, read 3,123,857 times
Reputation: 6008
If you're had hundreds of rejections, it's YOU, not the women.

Trust me, Sean Connery, Paul McCartney or Prince Harry haven't been rejected in their lives.
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Old 11-18-2011, 07:15 PM
 
Location: southern california
48,216 posts, read 43,975,913 times
Reputation: 38980
wasting time-- is a relative concept. for the lonely guy "wasting time"; chasing women vs counting ceiling tiles at 3 am?
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Old 11-18-2011, 07:57 PM
 
Location: 39 20' 59"N / 75 30' 53"W
11,996 posts, read 11,523,784 times
Reputation: 13355
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hagen View Post
You know....being friends first never worked...and I think most people..at least men will agree with me on this....once you became friends...you are nothing more than the guy that the girl comes to cry when things are not going good...a switch from friends to couples is a too dramatic change...very utopic if you'd call it...
Go on with your life and don't place so much importance on dating.

Good things come to those who wait....or when you least expect.
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