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Just out of curiosity, how old are you? Because you sound like how I was faring with women when I was in my late teens to early 20s.
Nope, it's totally not. For guys who don't care about trivial things like "game" and want to find a woman suitable for dating and possibly settling down rather than getting his numbers high, this is crushing to a well-to-do man's self esteem. People expect you to become bitter and jaded, don't give them the satisfaction of being right.
As I got older, I'm 31 now... things are different. All that crap about me that used to be so taboo they're willing to overlook. I think when you get older, you might see this too. For example, I grew up with bad acne, mediocre job, going to a paper mill school... didn't come from a middle class background but trying like mad to make it there, total white knight/chivalrous nature that I was raised to behave as.
Its stuff that I didn't think would hurt me in the long run because I was too proud and confident in myself. When it came to being honest and told them what I wanted to do, they couldn't wait to bail and date/marry the first guy that took them to an expensive meal for the first date. Women didn't want to touch me, as dating me was considered for the desperate and lonely. It got so ridiculous that even being seen talking to me was just bad news. Didn't understand why it had to be that way, total high school mentality there. Lots of close knit groups act nice to your face and make all sorts of compliments, but they don't always mean it... or if they do, they're from a different generation probably.
Now, at my age the dating game is different. There are more divorcees, single mothers, married loners, and facebook hunters from your past that pop out of the woodwork. Facebook is living proof that women DO think about guys they passed up in the prime of their youth by the way, whether they don't admit it or not because the proof is in the pudding. I still look the same plus a few pounds, but getting attention from younger women, married women around the same age and very attractive older women boost self-esteem and infuriates at the same time. Lots of long stares when they think I'm not looking, thank God for reflective surfaces, haha!
Give it some time, might take a couple more years and you'll see things start to change. A single guy like yourself that has no kids and a well paying career is a dream come true for older women, especially the divorced and with children... just be careful that you don't get those who take advantage of it for their own gain. It happens alot more than people are willing to let on.
Trust me, as you get older you'll have a better advantage and can afford to be picky on who you would want to date and hopefully start a family with.
Well...I do want something when I approach.....and yes....we all have to fake it...men and women fake it.......people don't want the truth.....they just want a lie good enough to give them bliss.....even though I want to have sex, date and have a meaningful relationship with someone..there's a whole process that has to be followed...call it courtship if you will... I can't just walk up to a girl and say: " hey I would like to have sex with you" or " hey I like you..would you like to go on a date with me one of these days?"( unless of course you display a good per$$$onality)....we all follow a process....and within this process we hide the bad parts and polish the good ones.....if there's no motivation..there's no purpose....we live because we are motivated by something no matter how small...
These beliefs are your stumbling blocks. If you actually believe what you have written above, there is no way you could come across otherwise. My guess is that you must come across as disingenuous.
These beliefs are your stumbling blocks. If you actually believe what you have written above, there is no way you could come across otherwise. My guess is that you must come across as disingenuous.
How I wrote it was a little harsh...what I meant was that when we are about to meet someone that we are interested, we want to present ourselves in the best way..men and women alike.
But you know...being your self works great on paper, everyone told me to be myself, I got nothing out of it...and when I saw how my friends were managing to get dates...I am sorry...but facts are better than theory...everyone lies!...
How I wrote it was a little harsh...what I meant was that when we are about to meet someone that we are interested, we want to present ourselves in the best way..men and women alike.
But you know...being your self works great on paper, everyone told me to be myself, I got nothing out of it...and when I saw how my friends were managing to get dates...I am sorry...but facts are better than theory...everyone lies!...
You are right that everyone should put their best foot foward during the getting to know you stage...don't get into heavy topics or past mistakes in relationships at first. If you get past the first few dates and things look like they are going good...then it's like pealing back the skin of an onion...do it a little at a time...don't overwhelm anyone with too much at one time.It's not being a liar...you are not under any obligation to reveal all your "warts" till your relationship progresses to a point where you feel comfortable(and that is up to the individual).
How I wrote it was a little harsh...what I meant was that when we are about to meet someone that we are interested, we want to present ourselves in the best way..men and women alike.
But you know...being your self works great on paper, everyone told me to be myself, I got nothing out of it...and when I saw how my friends were managing to get dates...I am sorry...but facts are better than theory...everyone lies!...
And here's the sad part, Hagen. When you DO get over your issues - and you will, in time - you'll have other hurdles to jump over. For example, take a peek in that 'size' thread.
That is clearly a lie. Have you seen the divorce rate?? People don't bother to evaluate character, personality, and substance until it's 4 years too late.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Liberty2011
Because outer beauty is shallow and fleeting, and IMO, the majority of people want a partner with character, personality and substance.
Because outer beauty is shallow and fleeting, and IMO, the majority of people want a partner with character, personality and substance.
well it pisses me off that women judge men on their strength, more so their mental strength, their confidence, attitude
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