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Well, yeah, the OP DOES want something from these women he approaches so I'm not getting what the issue is with his 'motivation'?
You are actually wrong. The OP does not WANT it, instead he NEEDS it. And it shows. If you want it but she says no, you are a bit dissappointed, but no big deal. But I bet the OP takes a huge blow to his self esteem when a couple of women ignore him.
See the difference?
Well, women see it too. And they see it much more easily.
You are actually wrong. The OP does not WANT it, instead he NEEDS it. And it shows. If you want it but she says no, you are a bit dissappointed, but no big deal. But I bet the OP takes a huge blow to his self esteem when a couple of women ignore him.
See the difference?
Well, women see it too. And they see it much more easily.
Interesting. Even though the OP says that he WANTS it (check out his last post) somehow you think he NEEDS it? Hmmm...
So tell us how you can tell the difference based on what he has written and for the rest of us 'unwashed' men. Tell us how you can tell if a man wants it or needs it. Not being a smarta$$ here... just honestly wanting - not needing, lol! - to know. Like I said, interesting.
It's just the pessimistic attitude. Since he seems to have other things going on well in his life, I have to guess that the pessimism comes from not having women. And if not having women makes you unhappy, this means that you need women in order to be happy. When someone places his happiness in the decisions of others, he is bound to be dependent. Bad thing.
Well I can't really say much more since of course I don't know Hagen personally. But that's a given: this is the most advice someone can get through a forum: guesses from total strangers. However in my experience this is the problem for most guys who seem to be "good on paper" but get consistently rejected.
It's just the pessimistic attitude. Since he seems to have other things going on well in his life, I have to guess that the pessimism comes from not having women. And if not having women makes you unhappy, this means that you need women in order to be happy. When someone places his happiness in the decisions of others, he is bound to be dependent. Bad thing.
Well I can't really say much more since of course I don't know Hagen personally. But that's a given: this is the most advice someone can get through a forum: guesses from total strangers. However in my experience this is the problem for most guys who seem to be "good on paper" but get consistently rejected.
What I am asking is how do you know he has a pessimistic attitude. What would someone do or how would someone act to trigger that red flag of pessimism? I don't think the OP is gonna approach women saying 'Oh, I am so DOWN on myself cos I haven't bagged a chick yet, blah blah, wanna go out with me so I can lose the pessimism bit, blah', lol.
What signs would the OP be giving out to trigger that red flag?
It's just the pessimistic attitude. Since he seems to have other things going on well in his life, I have to guess that the pessimism comes from not having women. And if not having women makes you unhappy, this means that you need women in order to be happy. When someone places his happiness in the decisions of others, he is bound to be dependent. Bad thing.
Well I can't really say much more since of course I don't know Hagen personally. But that's a given: this is the most advice someone can get through a forum: guesses from total strangers. However in my experience this is the problem for most guys who seem to be "good on paper" but get consistently rejected.
haha...I am not a pessimist.....and if rejections hurt me so much I wouldn't have approached hundreds of times...I am not needy if that's what you meant...but trying something that is so normal for other people and constantly failing at it is not very stimulating either....I hear people saying that is so easy to fins a partner now days...but for me it is a big taboo...and i would like to understand what is so wrong with me that drives women away....people that I barely know compliment on my personality....and when people ask me why I don't have a girlfriend all I do is lie....but i want to feel what everybody feels...is it wrong to wanna mean something to somebody else?
haha...I am not a pessimist.....and if rejections hurt me so much I wouldn't have approached hundreds of times...I am not needy if that's what you meant...but trying something that is so normal for other people and constantly failing at it is not very stimulating either....I hear people saying that is so easy to fins a partner now days...but for me it is a big taboo...and i would like to understand what is so wrong with me that drives women away....people that I barely know compliment on my personality....and when people ask me why I don't have a girlfriend all I do is lie....but i want to feel what everybody feels...is it wrong to wanna mean something to somebody else?
Just out of curiosity, how old are you? Because you sound like how I was faring with women when I was in my late teens to early 20s.
Quote:
but trying something that is so normal for other people and constantly failing at it is not very stimulating either
Nope, it's totally not. For guys who don't care about trivial things like "game" and want to find a woman suitable for dating and possibly settling down rather than getting his numbers high, this is crushing to a well-to-do man's self esteem. People expect you to become bitter and jaded, don't give them the satisfaction of being right.
As I got older, I'm 31 now... things are different. All that crap about me that used to be so taboo they're willing to overlook. I think when you get older, you might see this too. For example, I grew up with bad acne, mediocre job, going to a paper mill school... didn't come from a middle class background but trying like mad to make it there, total white knight/chivalrous nature that I was raised to behave as.
Its stuff that I didn't think would hurt me in the long run because I was too proud and confident in myself. When it came to being honest and told them what I wanted to do, they couldn't wait to bail and date/marry the first guy that took them to an expensive meal for the first date. Women didn't want to touch me, as dating me was considered for the desperate and lonely. It got so ridiculous that even being seen talking to me was just bad news. Didn't understand why it had to be that way, total high school mentality there. Lots of close knit groups act nice to your face and make all sorts of compliments, but they don't always mean it... or if they do, they're from a different generation probably.
Now, at my age the dating game is different. There are more divorcees, single mothers, married loners, and facebook hunters from your past that pop out of the woodwork. Facebook is living proof that women DO think about guys they passed up in the prime of their youth by the way, whether they don't admit it or not because the proof is in the pudding. I still look the same plus a few pounds, but getting attention from younger women, married women around the same age and very attractive older women boost self-esteem and infuriates at the same time. Lots of long stares when they think I'm not looking, thank God for reflective surfaces, haha!
Give it some time, might take a couple more years and you'll see things start to change. A single guy like yourself that has no kids and a well paying career is a dream come true for older women, especially the divorced and with children... just be careful that you don't get those who take advantage of it for their own gain. It happens alot more than people are willing to let on.
Trust me, as you get older you'll have a better advantage and can afford to be picky on who you would want to date and hopefully start a family with.
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