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I tell the difference based on the context of the interaction between the individuals, the content of what is being said between the individuals, how close physically the individuals are to each other, and the relationship status of the individuals.
I am a friendly sort, and my husband says many men will interpret my friendliness as flirting. I, however, know when my intent is mere friendliness vs flirtation.
I think if someone is equally friendly to both genders then he or she is just friendly, but if the "friendliness" is more heavily applied to someone of the opposite sex (or same sex if gay) then he or she is flirtatious.
Flirtatious isn't always bad, some people are innately that, they almost can't stop themselves.
Sometimes it's quite difficult to tell. But all depends on how much one enjoys the attention from the other person. And this sometimes can turn into a problem, because one is tempted to take the next step and get in hot water, specially at work. Then a lot of people often flirt with each other, even at work, but never take that "next step" I was referring about. Some people are quite faithful to an spouse and still flirt with others. Still, there always is a chance to get burned in the process.
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