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Old 11-29-2011, 05:16 PM
 
86 posts, read 335,586 times
Reputation: 76

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I moved to a new city and met a great bunch of friends. One of them is a guy named Bob. Bob and I didnt hit it off well, and initally I thought he didnt like me.. but little did I know that he really liked me and supposedly confessed to the whole group his admiration for me and how he felt like I was it!... But before I knew that he liked me, I became interested in him and some what had feelings for him. I guess before I moved he somewhat had the idea/dream to move out of the country to work somewhere else.

We became closer, but a couple of months into our friendship/confusing state of what is this, he became a little bit distant because the possibility of him moving out of the country became more feasible. But then it then seemed like his company wasnt willing to transfer him for several months. He thought he would move in August.. but it is now November... so his dreams of wanting to move out of the country seemed like it wasnt going to happen....

But then, a couple of days ago he finds out that his company was willing to transfer him to a completely different country (then what was initally planned for him). It seems like everyone around him thinks that he is just doing all this on impulse, yet it seems like his family is somewhat supportive of him leaving. He pretty much has a week to get everything in order and move to another country. I asked him if he had housing and if he knew anyone in this new country, but he said no to both.....

Most people his age are settling down and getting married to start a family, but it seems like he is living his life according to some fantasy and moving to a new country to work in for a couple of months, where then he then hopes that he will be able to transfer his job to another country of "his dreams."

Why question is... is he following his dreams or is he running away from his current life. I understand that if you grew up and went to school and even college in the same state that you were born in, that you would want to leave that state.... but would you really want to move to another country where you know no one, and a place with different values and cultures?...
to me it seems like he is running away from his current life and trying to find something...

Maybe I am biased because I want him to stay because I want to see where our friendship/relationship may go. But for me and others in our group, we feel like he is being impulsive and just leaving on a whim and not truly thinking it through, even though he is convinced that he was somewhat "destined" to go...

I know I should just let him go, but in some ways I feel attached to him somehow... All I can do is say best of luck and see you soon... A part of me wants to hold onto him, thinking he probably (and hoping) that he will come back in a couple of months to then realize what a mistake he made. But then I know I should move on......
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Old 11-29-2011, 05:19 PM
 
1,547 posts, read 3,292,354 times
Reputation: 1025
Antonio Gala says... and I translate...
He who tries to run from his destiny will in that way find his true destiny
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Old 11-29-2011, 05:21 PM
 
25,165 posts, read 44,850,587 times
Reputation: 6884
Do what's economical and shows promise.
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Old 11-29-2011, 05:43 PM
 
Location: Quakertown, Pa., USA
388 posts, read 667,451 times
Reputation: 624
Confucius said " if a man is able to follow his dream and does not, then he is running from life "
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Old 11-29-2011, 05:43 PM
 
Location: Canada
8,172 posts, read 6,631,236 times
Reputation: 16080
He may be someone who doesn't require roots and the idea of working overseas and changing countries appeals to him. Not everyone wants to settle down and have a family. That doesn't mean he's living in a fantasy world, but rather that he has other priorities right now and wahts to see 'where the wind takes him'.
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Old 11-29-2011, 11:39 PM
 
47,578 posts, read 54,321,975 times
Reputation: 22043
Yes, there are always some people who are adventuresome, they have to try new places. Some just want to try it out and then they come back home, others won't.

I think you should just move on, let this one go.
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Old 11-30-2011, 03:03 AM
 
13,147 posts, read 11,024,372 times
Reputation: 27878
How old is he? I pulled up stakes and took a job on a different continent when I was 48. I didn't know there was an age limit!
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Old 11-30-2011, 03:46 AM
 
Location: Too far from home.
8,743 posts, read 4,954,588 times
Reputation: 2357
People from all over the world leave their country for many different reasons.

I've been in Dubai for a total of 14 years and I've gotten to the point that I am ready to go home - back to America. We came here because my husband is Egyptian-American and wanted to work in an industry that is dominated and run by people who are white, bue-eyed and blonde-haired - the hotel industry and couldn't get a decent position in the States, in spite of his education and experience, or lack thereof. It has paid off for us and as luck would have it he has been offered a job back in the states in a corporate capacity with an international organization. Being here proved very successful for him. Unfortunately his new job would have him outside the country 60% of the year, back in the states 40%, but we are going to make our home in the states.

Since 2008 you would be amazed how many Americans came to Dubai and Abu Dhabi. Most had to do with the fact that they lost jobs in the states and they were able to find one here. Americans who lost jobs were looking outside the country for work as there were more opportunities. Families uprooted for a job outside the states. I'm sure that can be said for Americans who took up work in other countries.

Some people leave through job transfer, as Bob is doing. This can help a career. Some people see travel as an adventure and if they have a job that gives them that opportunity all the more better. Some people want to explore other cultures. Some people have even come to Dubai on vacation, liked it so much that they looked for a job even though they were employed in their own country, to move to Dubai. Some people do it for the money and a better lifestyle. There are so many reasons people leave their country.

Travel is not only an adventure but an education. You learn tolerance, appreciation, patience and sometimes it can define or reinforce the things that really matter in your life. It also reminds you of how wonderful your own country can be in spite of its flaws - in my case, it's the US. I've enjoyed my time here, but I am ready to go home, probably at what will be considered one of the worst times in US history because of its collapse in so many ways.
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Old 11-30-2011, 04:29 AM
 
Location: Back in MADISON Wi thank God!
1,047 posts, read 3,040,723 times
Reputation: 1367
Quote:
Originally Posted by cheeerioS View Post
I moved to a new city and met a great bunch of friends. One of them is a guy named Bob. Bob and I didnt hit it off well, and initally I thought he didnt like me.. but little did I know that he really liked me and supposedly confessed to the whole group his admiration for me and how he felt like I was it!... But before I knew that he liked me, I became interested in him and some what had feelings for him. I guess before I moved he somewhat had the idea/dream to move out of the country to work somewhere else.

We became closer, but a couple of months into our friendship/confusing state of what is this, he became a little bit distant because the possibility of him moving out of the country became more feasible. But then it then seemed like his company wasnt willing to transfer him for several months. He thought he would move in August.. but it is now November... so his dreams of wanting to move out of the country seemed like it wasnt going to happen....

But then, a couple of days ago he finds out that his company was willing to transfer him to a completely different country (then what was initally planned for him). It seems like everyone around him thinks that he is just doing all this on impulse, yet it seems like his family is somewhat supportive of him leaving. He pretty much has a week to get everything in order and move to another country. I asked him if he had housing and if he knew anyone in this new country, but he said no to both.....

Most people his age are settling down and getting married to start a family, but it seems like he is living his life according to some fantasy and moving to a new country to work in for a couple of months, where then he then hopes that he will be able to transfer his job to another country of "his dreams."

Why question is... is he following his dreams or is he running away from his current life. I understand that if you grew up and went to school and even college in the same state that you were born in, that you would want to leave that state.... but would you really want to move to another country where you know no one, and a place with different values and cultures?...
to me it seems like he is running away from his current life and trying to find something...

Maybe I am biased because I want him to stay because I want to see where our friendship/relationship may go. But for me and others in our group, we feel like he is being impulsive and just leaving on a whim and not truly thinking it through, even though he is convinced that he was somewhat "destined" to go...

I know I should just let him go, but in some ways I feel attached to him somehow... All I can do is say best of luck and see you soon... A part of me wants to hold onto him, thinking he probably (and hoping) that he will come back in a couple of months to then realize what a mistake he made. But then I know I should move on......
you say most people his age are settling down, getting married....what is his age? and how are most marriages working out? maybe if more people followed their dreams and had some experiences before they got married, their marriages would last.
It doesn't sound impulsive of him or that he is going "on a whine" if he has been trying to orchestrate moving for many months. It sounds more like you are just wanting him to stay to see where your relationship will lead.
he needs to go and try this or he will always regret not going.
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Old 11-30-2011, 04:55 AM
 
663 posts, read 829,107 times
Reputation: 940
Quote:
Originally Posted by cheeerioS;
I moved to a new city and met a great bunch of friends. One of them is a guy named Bob. Bob and I didnt hit it off well, and initally I thought he didnt like me.. but little did I know that he really liked me and supposedly confessed to the whole group his admiration for me and how he felt like I was it!... But before I knew that he liked me, I became interested in him and some what had feelings for him. I guess before I moved he somewhat had the idea/dream to move out of the country to work somewhere else.

We became closer, but a couple of months into our friendship/confusing state of what is this, he became a little bit distant because the possibility of him moving out of the country became more feasible. But then it then seemed like his company wasnt willing to transfer him for several months. He thought he would move in August.. but it is now November... so his dreams of wanting to move out of the country seemed like it wasnt going to happen....

But then, a couple of days ago he finds out that his company was willing to transfer him to a completely different country (then what was initally planned for him). It seems like everyone around him thinks that he is just doing all this on impulse, yet it seems like his family is somewhat supportive of him leaving.
He pretty much has a week to get everything in order and move to another country. I asked him if he had housing and if he knew anyone in this new country, but he said no to both.....

Most people his age are settling down and getting married to start a family, but it seems like he is living his life according to some fantasy and moving to a new country to work in for a couple of months, where then he then hopes that he will be able to transfer his job to another country of "his dreams."

Why question is... is he following his dreams or is he running away from his current life. I understand that if you grew up and went to school and even college in the same state that you were born in, that you would want to leave that state.... but would you really want to move to another country where you know no one, and a place with different values and cultures?...
to me it seems like he is running away from his current life and trying to find something...

Maybe I am biased because I want him to stay because I want to see where our friendship/relationship may go. But for me and others in our group, we feel like he is being impulsive and just leaving on a whim and not truly thinking it through, even though he is convinced that he was somewhat "destined" to go...

The bolded part......yes, you sound biased. There's no official clock for settling down. Some people do when they're young, some old, some never. It doesn't matter what you and others in your group think about his "whim" because it isn't your life, it's his. People move to other countries all the time for a lot of different reasons - you just don't want him to leave and only looking at it from your perspective.

I know I should just let him go, but in some ways I feel attached to him somehow... All I can do is say best of luck and see you soon... A part of me wants to hold onto him, thinking he probably (and hoping) that he will come back in a couple of months to then realize what a mistake he made. But then I know I should move on......
Why would you do that? Let him go do his thing, it's his life. Why would you wait around for someone who clearly doesn't want to stay? If you want someone less adventurous who is ready to settle down, find that person. Too many women make the mistake of trying to turn Mr Right Now into Mr Right.....waste of time.
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