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Old 12-01-2011, 06:26 AM
 
Location: locus amoenus
1,777 posts, read 1,725,817 times
Reputation: 1913
Quote:
Originally Posted by Prairieparson View Post
To the OP. You don't sound like a person with a positive, optimistic outlook on life or yourself. A negative personality is not going to be attractive to most people. If you look at a lot of women's ads, you'll notice that they want someone, fun, funny funloving. A lot of women suffer from kind of a free floating anxiety; they worry a lot. An optimistic fun loving confident guy is a real attraction. A lot of women are looking for the "port in the storm". A guy they can depend on to be their rock when they need him and that means a positive, optimistic confident man.

I don't know if that helps understand what might be going on. IE If you sound fearful, weak, insecure to women, expect them to look elsewhere. Just MHO.
As simple as that.
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Old 12-01-2011, 06:32 AM
 
Location: The cupboard under the sink
3,574 posts, read 3,654,271 times
Reputation: 6077
There have been several similar threads recently.
If I'm being entirely honest, I don't even understand the point of these posts.
It's a statement, nothing more.

What are we supposed to comment on, or debate ?
Is the OP happy being single, or looking for ways not to be single.

Do we demonise the OP and villify them for being defeatist, or do we encourage them and agree that it's the rest of the world who are the villians ?

It's a bit like going on to the Motoring forum and starting a thread saying "I drive a Chevrolet"

I appreciate that English may not be the OP's first language, but it would still be nice if it actually said something.

OP, if you want to know something, then just ask.
If you don't make it clear what you want, then you are never going to get the right advice.


But for what it's worth, I think you should use a little more butter when you bake biscuits.
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Old 12-01-2011, 07:09 AM
 
Location: Chicago
2,057 posts, read 1,939,039 times
Reputation: 2027
All of the previous posters nailed every piece of advice I might give. I would recommend a move for sure. Moving can be scary, but it also opens you up to entirely new possibilities and women...
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Old 12-01-2011, 07:29 AM
 
Location: NC
4,117 posts, read 2,177,401 times
Reputation: 3746
I know a guy, 35, HUGE nerd, awkward as heck looking, social inept.... He met a woman who is quite attractive , into his nerdly stuff (anime, transformers etc), and they are insanely happy now.

There is someone for everyone. You just have to be positive and open to it.
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Old 12-01-2011, 11:03 AM
 
Location: Olympus Mons, Mars
2,535 posts, read 4,038,434 times
Reputation: 1925
not exact but I am in a similar situation, 37, had success on an off dating.. had 2 short term relationships which crashed and burned due to "irreconcilable differences" and not exactly sure why I am not meeting that right person...trying to see if there is something I am doing wrong, just my luck or something else. What I am looking for in a person is quite basic and not expecting anything I cannot offer myself...it's just hard, not sure how some are so successful at it.
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Old 12-01-2011, 02:58 PM
 
Location: NY
5,795 posts, read 4,402,925 times
Reputation: 6126
I agree with bobman. I am not sure what the OP is looking from the forum.

If it is advice, i would say he needs to seek out a lot of constructive criticism from his friends on how to be more attractive in ways other than appearance. He is getting dates, so his looks cannot be too awful. (And people of all shapes, sizes, and appearances are able to find relationships anyway... I do not buy the concept that looks make someone undatable).
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Old 12-01-2011, 03:27 PM
 
Location: Schertz, TX
418 posts, read 365,375 times
Reputation: 272
Quote:
Originally Posted by bobman View Post

It's a bit like going on to the Motoring forum and starting a thread saying "I drive a Chevrolet"
Well, more precisely it is like saying I don't drive and need some
help to get started.

Nothing with that.
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Old 12-01-2011, 03:51 PM
 
1,589 posts, read 1,205,031 times
Reputation: 2448
Anyway, OP - i hope you are able to look past the silly posts and find an answer/response that satisfies your inquiry. It isnt going to be easy but there is an adage that says....its better to have tried and failed, than to not have tried at all. Keep extending yourself, and as suggested by the others, work on your confidence (perhaps go to the gym - you'll feel good physically at least) and some day, you'll find Mrs Right!!!!
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Old 12-01-2011, 05:34 PM
 
2,715 posts, read 2,332,419 times
Reputation: 1207
thanks for the enquiries. I did not expect this amount of replies. Anyway someone suggested me to have an job where I be in uniform. I have not so long ago applied and still waiting for the results. Yes I get first dates but second dates are so rare.

Anyway one of my best friends told me that I am incapable of being in an relationship. I would not know if that is true as I never been in one.

I do an bit of travelling and I have been on an lot of holidays. I meet many girls of course. Another thing that can be an problem for me is I can be very shy. I guess its not just looks.

I dont have alot of friends but I believe now at least meet someone new each day so at least its something.

I have had friends that have tried to set me up with someone but it not at all worked out.
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Old 12-01-2011, 05:48 PM
 
Location: Seattle
1,563 posts, read 1,529,154 times
Reputation: 1535
Quote:
Originally Posted by sunshineleith View Post
OP just ignore the comments on grammar and spelling please. Some people just assume that everyone's first language is English and that they are Americans able to join the army

Many of the comments are valid: your confidence level is what needs to be boosted. There are lots of guys that are perceived as less than gorgeous that meet, successfully date and get married. That is NOT the problem. You ARE getting first dates - so it is not your looks. People (all of us) are attracted to positive people, but your attitude comes across as self-defeatist and that will drive women away.
Errr..Sunshine, you do not need to be an American citizen nor speak english to enlist..but guess what, they can help you with both : >

I realize you are veteran forum member and all, but as a reminder the first rule in critiquing others comments....is to know what you are talking about. Just sayin...

Felix Navidad
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