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It happened in the past, and the people involved have moved on and successfully lived their life after it..all that has happened iis the op was let in on an old family secret. I don't see a reason to get emotional about something that's resolved and the parties involved have moved on from.
Your dad being diagnosed is what needs to be focused upon. In 10 years or so the shock of him cheating will be over and done with, but how you treated him during the last few years of his life will remain with you
I don't like cheaters, period, but I also realize people made bad decisions. I love my daddy and NOTHING would ever take that away. I will always treat him with the respect and diginity that a Wonderful daddy deserves.
I think after you've thought things over and given it time to settle, you should decide whether it's worth upsetting everything by bringing this into the open.
IMHO, this is a discussion process in which your parents should be involved.
If you all decide to act, then the potential sister's mother should be consulted first.
I think to just say to her "Hi, I hear you might be my sister" is just asking for trouble.
(or words to that effect, you get the picture )
I understand that you'd have a desire to know, but there could be an element that what people don't know won't hurt them. If true, this will turn a lot of lives around, but maybe none more so than yours and the innocent potential step sister.
Quote:
Originally Posted by round4
I don't like cheaters, period, but I also realize people made bad decisions. I love my daddy and NOTHING would ever take that away. I will always treat him with the respect and diginity that a Wonderful daddy deserves.
Good point, Bob. Maybe one of these days, my alleged hal-sister's mom will come to me...or maybe to my dad and mom, and then as parents, and the ones who did this so many years ago..will come to us both, truthfully, my gut tells me they all know..I don't know why, just bits and things flood my memory of things said...
It certainly would be a lot of unnecessary drama to bring this up and then find out she is not his. But I couldn't live without knowing. I would somehow try to collect 4 hair samples from her and send it to an online DNA place along with your Dad's hair or cheek swab.
That way you can know for sure, what you do about it another story, but at least you will know the facts.
It's just ridiculous that your mom, dad, and other woman couldn't have come to terms with it and how to handle it with respect to their children before your mom dumped it into your lap. It is between them, and they should have sorted out what and when to tell you or your potential half-sister before anyone said anything.
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