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A break up is devastating, so it's natural that you go through the stages of grief. When you eventually realize that a long-distance relationship with constant fighting is not ideal, maybe get yourself a gym membership, get in shape again (not because you need it but because it's healthy!) while befriending cute local guys in gym (you will be amazed again by how great it feels to be able to regularly see the person of your affection). But only do that when you are okay to let go of your ex-boyfriend.
Just know that there is light at the end of this depressing tunnel and that you have options.
Just because you love him does not mean he's right for you or that you should push for a relationship with this guy. People fall in love with the wrong people all the time. The fact that he's left you repeatedly is a blatant sign that you two are not right for each other and I think you should work on letting him go, detaching your feelings and eventually moving on to someone that will love you so much, your weight won't matter and he'll never want to let you go.
OP, your feelings for this man are blocking what your mind, and everyone here is telling you--this isn't going to work out. It doesn't matter how you feel if your ex doesn't also love you.
I know its going to be hard--really hard. At this point you should think about what you can do to ease the pain you are feeling. Try to find support in your friends and family and spend time outside of your home--and don't date for awhile. You found one man and you can certainly find another.
if maybe you could give me some advice regarding my now ex-boyfriend?
We had a year and a half long, long-distance relationship. We argued almost all the time and broke up a 100 times but always got back together, because the love, the passion, the bond we shared was amazingly strong...But then with time I think we started getting a bit tired of the whole situation and could not agree who should move (to another's country), when and how...
Last time he broke up with me in summer, than came back begging me to take him back, seemed in love for a while, then we started arguing again over the same old things and eventually it came down to him saying that he now clearly sees i am not the one and he does not feel the same about me (he said he does not admire me anymore, is not as attracted as he used to be, and the feeling that he needs me has gone)....
But i still really really love him. Is there any way I could make him change his mind without bluntly asking him not to leave me??
P.S. I really gained weight in the past year and he clearly did not like it at all....maybe if I lost the weight?
First, I understand that you've been through a heartbreaking thing. And it's not easy to let something like that go. But when someone makes up his or her mind to not love anymore, it is almost impossible to recreate that feeling once again.
Second, this is a person who has gotten into the habit of doing hurtful things. Breaking up with you temporarily is one thing. But saying he doesn't admire you is something that cuts to the quick. For that is the question of respect, not love. One may respect and not love, but one can never love and not respect.
So if he doesn't respect you, then you need to make certain that you respect yourself. Vowing to change on his behalf isn't part of the equation, whether it's losing weight or anything else.
Finally, if you have broken up a hundred times, then I would offer that this isn't the relationship for you. Good relationships do not involve constant drama. Instead, at the risk of sounding Zen, they just are.
No. It's time to accept that he has moved on and now you need to as well. Of course you are still going to have feelings for him, it will take time to get passed that. But you need to start getting into the mind frame that it's over instead of desperately trying to think of methods to make him change his mind. He has finally realized what an unhealthy relationship this is and once someone comes to that realization, you can't, nor should you, be able to change their mind. You may have had a passionate relationship but your bond and love could not have been that "strong" if you split up about 100 times. Maybe when you are over this relationship, you will realize that strong bonds are about healthy bonds and healthy bonds are not formed by constant splitting up and arguing. Is that really what you want out of a relationship?
you are right, thank you very much for your comment! You are right, with my mind I know it...I just need time I guess...
A break up is devastating, so it's natural that you go through the stages of grief. When you eventually realize that a long-distance relationship with constant fighting is not ideal, maybe get yourself a gym membership, get in shape again (not because you need it but because it's healthy!) while befriending cute local guys in gym (you will be amazed again by how great it feels to be able to regularly see the person of your affection). But only do that when you are okay to let go of your ex-boyfriend.
Just know that there is light at the end of this depressing tunnel and that you have options.
Thank you very much for the moral support! I do not see the light yet, but I know it's gonna be there, somewhere, at some point
You say you love him and if you lose the weight it might help getting him back.
These are all emotions you are going through right now that will pass.
Once the dust settles you will see that it wasn't love at all.
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