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After trying for years to improve things, and making no progress and getting little cooperation, I felt I'd done enough and divorced her. I wish I'd done that sooner, as I have been far happier ever since.
my breaking point (well, the last one, anyway) was about two years ago. I failed every class I was enrolled in, had no friends, no direction, and the attempts I made to rectify things failed.
So instead of whining about it, I let it slide further down. I knew that there was no way to fix it so I had to ride it out instead- but falling flat was the push I needed once the opportunity to fix things came up.
I think now my gpa is like 3.8 or 3.9, and while I still don't really have any friends where I'm at, I have a plan and the motivation to get a life.
When my ex was out if town for a week on business and I got depressed on Thurs morning after realizing he was coming home the next day. I had been so happy for 3 days. We had seriously discussed divorce twice before but this was the lucky charm for me.
After being in a very long marriage (40 years), my husband left saying not that the marriage was over but that it needed serious "fixing." However his idea of fixing was to cut off all but email communication with me and stay away for 3.5 years while he tried to "fix" me. I wasn't broken. Friends and family kept asking how much longer I would stay in this limbo situation and I kept replying that I had no idea when I would reach that "last straw" moment but that I would know when it had been reached. Last week I arrived at that moment and knew instantly that I was done. (I only put up with the separation because he was paying a lot of the bills and I didn't really feel motivated to find out what else might be out there for me.)
The last straw was that he removed a package from my mailbox and was unable to stuff it back in so he took it and emailed me that he was remailing it, signature required, and that I could pick it up at the post office (I am not home during the week to sign). The next day I called my lawyer, told her to be prepared for me to file, called my CPA and financial advisor to give them a head's up and as soon as the holidays are over I will file and be done with him. I next called a realtor and told her to start keeping an eye out for a small house I can rent on my own and told my boss I would like to roll over a few vacation days to next year to deal with this (it will be contentious) and settled in to wait out the next few weeks. It's as though a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders and I can't wait to get on with my new life, whatever it brings.
I agree with some of the posters that said we each have our own "breaking point." But in the end, I think it just comes to a point when you really had just had enough; where you can't do this another day.
My previous relationship went sour in the summer when I found out he was spending money behind my back and all on the credit card. He had like 2 credit cards with about $12K on them and another one he lied to me about. I was angry for a while, then I tried to reconcile, but eventually I began to hate the idea of him being in the house. I hadn't talked to him for 2 weeks because I was just angry and had a lot of things going on at school and at work. Finally he called me at work and said "hey baby you want chicken for dinner" (mind you we hadn't spoken in two weeks). I said, no I don't want chicken and we need to talk when I get home. That was it. I just felt that our relationship was falling apart all around us and he is asking me if I want chicken.
I agree with some of the posters that said we each have our own "breaking point." But in the end, I think it just comes to a point when you really had just had enough; where you can't do this another day.
My previous relationship went sour in the summer when I found out he was spending money behind my back and all on the credit card. He had like 2 credit cards with about $12K on them and another one he lied to me about. I was angry for a while, then I tried to reconcile, but eventually I began to hate the idea of him being in the house. I hadn't talked to him for 2 weeks because I was just angry and had a lot of things going on at school and at work. Finally he called me at work and said "hey baby you want chicken for dinner" (mind you we hadn't spoken in two weeks). I said, no I don't want chicken and we need to talk when I get home. That was it. I just felt that our relationship was falling apart all around us and he is asking me if I want chicken.
I talked my partner into seeing a marriage counselor, agreeing that whatever the verdict was, we'd abide by it. Both in total agreement.
Sure didn't take long! 3 sessions, the verdict: You two are not suitable for one another and I highly recommend you terminate this unsalvageble relationship!
We still had a month left on our lease, after that we went our separate ways!
When my ex was out if town for a week on business and I got depressed on Thurs morning after realizing he was coming home the next day. I had been so happy for 3 days. We had seriously discussed divorce twice before but this was the lucky charm for me.
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ha!! understood. I used to LOVE when my ex had to go out of town. I also looked forward to him going to work every morning and dreaded him coming home in the evenings.
that's a BIG sign
I agree with some of the posters that said we each have our own "breaking point." But in the end, I think it just comes to a point when you really had just had enough; where you can't do this another day.
My previous relationship went sour in the summer when I found out he was spending money behind my back and all on the credit card. He had like 2 credit cards with about $12K on them and another one he lied to me about. I was angry for a while, then I tried to reconcile, but eventually I began to hate the idea of him being in the house. I hadn't talked to him for 2 weeks because I was just angry and had a lot of things going on at school and at work. Finally he called me at work and said "hey baby you want chicken for dinner" (mind you we hadn't spoken in two weeks). I said, no I don't want chicken and we need to talk when I get home. That was it. I just felt that our relationship was falling apart all around us and he is asking me if I want chicken.
wow. just wow. nothing else matters, but, hey, I could use some chicken, how 'bout you??
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