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Old 12-09-2011, 03:09 PM
 
30,902 posts, read 32,998,960 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lastra View Post
Well, my now husband and I had sex on our first first date, although we knew each other for 7 days prior to that...It felt right, so we did it...that was 6 years ago...So, I don't think sex is a defying thing when it comes to long term/short term relationship.
This is the kind of thing I'm talking about... ^
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Old 12-09-2011, 04:24 PM
 
1,838 posts, read 2,975,951 times
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If you're not emotionally mature then you shouldn't be having sex.

Thinking sex equal love is emotionally immature
Thinking sex will guarantee a commitment is emotionally immature
Thinking sex will control your mate is emotionally immature
Thinking sex will keep a relationship from failing is emotionally immature

You have sex because its something YOU want to do and whatever makes you want to have sex is your choice as long as you're not engaging in sex for emotionally immature reasons. When I'm dating a guy, I don't need a "commitment" before having sex because I know sex doesn't equal a commitment or guarantee one. A guy can say you're in a committed relationship, have sex with you then find a reason to break up with you after. When I get the feeling the guy is someone I would want a committed relationship with and I'm getting the same vibe from him, I proceed to a physical connection. I need to know if we are sexually compatible before I can fully committ to him. We can be connecting great on a emotional level but if we are not compatible physically, its not going to work and I need to know that early on. Not the first date but no longer than 3 months. If I don't want to have sex with you by then, I'm not that into you and if I don't enjoy the sex, we won't be moving forward to a committed relationship.
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Old 12-09-2011, 04:57 PM
 
4,463 posts, read 6,228,582 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wordlife View Post
people who are willing wait well past the third date don't have any other options.
Very true, I would have been on to other dates and my calander would have filled up to see someone who does not know what they want.

I guess it depends on what is being discussed in thoes dates, if you are discussing serious matters and things are building then maybe but if your still discussing your favorite color after 3 solid meaningful dates then its a lost cause.

Its not a matter of time or number of dates its a matter of what is discussed in thoes dates or even subsequent follow up emails.
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Old 12-09-2011, 05:00 PM
 
4,463 posts, read 6,228,582 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by virgode View Post
He/she can like you for who you are and yet never fall in love with you.

Sexual compatability doesn't equal love.

And refraining from sex until you want to get to know a person on that level does not lead them on. This is your interpretation.
Isent this whole discussion subjective and based on intrupretation?
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Old 12-09-2011, 05:01 PM
 
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I think of it more as a catalyst for a potential relationship.
If it doesn't work at least you got laid.
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Old 12-09-2011, 05:04 PM
 
4,463 posts, read 6,228,582 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SwedishViking View Post
I think of it more as a catalyst for a potential relationship.
If it doesn't work at least you got laid.
Good call, dates about favorite color can go on longer if there are some benifits involved (sex) and then you are also establishing sexual compatability. Eventually things like kids and finances have to be discussed or if there are some sex acts that had not been done yet that are deal breakers if not performed on a regular basis.
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Old 05-17-2012, 12:56 PM
 
900 posts, read 1,702,120 times
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Interesting thread. In my experience , it's not a great idea but it does depend on the circumstances and people involved.
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Old 05-17-2012, 01:22 PM
 
Location: A great city, by a Great Lake!
15,896 posts, read 11,987,093 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SunshineFlower View Post
See, I have a theory if you really like someone, you'll still like them even if it's easy for you to sleep with them. I, personally, don't think it's the sex that kills the relationship. I think it's that you didn't like them *that much* to begin with and now that you no longer want to have sex with them (because you already have), there's nothing left that's interesting about them.

I'm really curious to see what the rest of you think.

Hey my wife and I "hooked up" pretty quick. We're still going after 12 years of marriage, and 16 years of being together. Sure it's less frequent. The daily stresses of life, and having a child will do that. But we still get at it.
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Old 05-19-2012, 11:13 AM
 
2,444 posts, read 3,583,615 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by no1brownsfan View Post
Hey my wife and I "hooked up" pretty quick. We're still going after 12 years of marriage, and 16 years of being together. Sure it's less frequent. The daily stresses of life, and having a child will do that. But we still get at it.
sounds like a dream....
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Old 05-19-2012, 12:18 PM
 
900 posts, read 1,702,120 times
Reputation: 489
It can , why take a chance?
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