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Old 12-08-2011, 10:22 PM
 
160 posts, read 236,616 times
Reputation: 76

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See, I have a theory if you really like someone, you'll still like them even if it's easy for you to sleep with them. I, personally, don't think it's the sex that kills the relationship. I think it's that you didn't like them *that much* to begin with and now that you no longer want to have sex with them (because you already have), there's nothing left that's interesting about them.

I'm really curious to see what the rest of you think.
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Old 12-08-2011, 11:11 PM
 
Location: Earth
17,449 posts, read 22,355,773 times
Reputation: 7227
Quote:
Originally Posted by SunshineFlower View Post
See, I have a theory if you really like someone, you'll still like them even if it's easy for you to sleep with them. I, personally, don't think it's the sex that kills the relationship. I think it's that you didn't like them *that much* to begin with and now that you no longer want to have sex with them (because you already have), there's nothing left that's interesting about them.

I'm really curious to see what the rest of you think.
If anything having sex early in the relationship cements the relationship.
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Old 12-08-2011, 11:24 PM
 
3,517 posts, read 5,311,332 times
Reputation: 5528
Quote:
Originally Posted by SunshineFlower View Post
See, I have a theory if you really like someone, you'll still like them even if it's easy for you to sleep with them. I, personally, don't think it's the sex that kills the relationship. I think it's that you didn't like them *that much* to begin with and now that you no longer want to have sex with them (because you already have), there's nothing left that's interesting about them.

I'm really curious to see what the rest of you think.
So ALWAYS have sex on the first date so you can tell if they're exciting just because of the sex or because you have a deepter connection.

I think that if things naturally flow in that direction early on, there's no need to fight it. My most successful relationships have involved sex in the first couple weeks of dating, while my trail of failures either never got there or we slept together after awhile of dating and things petered out pretty quickly after that.

Not to say that having sex early in a relationship makes for a more successful relationship, it just doesn't hurt it.
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Old 12-08-2011, 11:24 PM
 
Location: SWUS
5,414 posts, read 7,467,554 times
Reputation: 5765
Depends on the people involved. Some people make a relationship out of things aftr sex, some people need to establish more of a connection first. Lastly, sometimes people confuse the act of having sex with making love...
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Old 12-08-2011, 11:25 PM
 
Location: Kansas to Rochester, NY
612 posts, read 1,558,711 times
Reputation: 364
It depends on the people involved. If they're mature, sure. Please don't flame me for this but I tend to agree with the 'theory' that sex early in the relationship just makes things less interesting as the relationship goes on. You need to keep things interesting instead of stealing to the home plate. (bad example I know ).

Ninja'd.
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Old 12-08-2011, 11:35 PM
 
160 posts, read 236,616 times
Reputation: 76
Quote:
Originally Posted by UnexpectedError View Post
Not to say that having sex early in a relationship makes for a more successful relationship, it just doesn't hurt it.
Right, this is what I think as well.
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Old 12-09-2011, 12:00 AM
 
461 posts, read 633,029 times
Reputation: 1006
It can hurt depending on the type of guy you get. You would be naive as a women to think men are not different and don't just want sex and can separate that from love so how many times are you going to subject your body to a guy who doesn't have the same intentions as you? And why won't you take the time to find out his intentions and depth of interest in you before subjecting yourself to possible pregnancy, std's?

It sounds like you're trying to rationalize questionable behavior Sunshine. What's wrong? Don't you believe that you are intelligent, attractive and charming enough for a man to keep him interested?
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Old 12-09-2011, 12:06 AM
 
160 posts, read 236,616 times
Reputation: 76
Quote:
Originally Posted by myrevenge View Post
It can hurt depending on the type of guy you get. You would be naive as a women to think men are not different and don't just want sex and can separate that from love so how many times are you going to subject your body to a guy who doesn't have the same intentions as you? And why won't you take the time to find out his intentions and depth of interest in you before subjecting yourself to possible pregnancy, std's?

It sounds like you're trying to rationalize questionable behavior Sunshine. What's wrong? Don't you believe that you are intelligent, attractive and charming enough for a man to keep him interested?
Here's what I think: leading a guy on by withholding sex is not going to suddenly and magically make him fall in love with you. He has to like you for who you are already. If he does, sleeping with him is not going to change that.
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Old 12-09-2011, 12:14 AM
 
Location: California
29,163 posts, read 30,982,020 times
Reputation: 24211
Not necessarily. I think sex isn't the biggest factor in whether something goes long term or not. The most important thing is that both people WANT something long term and serious and if their personalities are compatible or not. After that sex is negotiable and some people prefer to jump on that while others prefer to take it slow. It's all part of the compatibility thing I was talking about because if you each have different ideas about it then there will be a problem.
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Old 12-09-2011, 12:25 AM
 
Location: in here, out there
3,065 posts, read 5,092,521 times
Reputation: 5109
You should wait at least three dates before you screw him.
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