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I don't see how an ex boy friend has any right to be upset because his ex girl friend is sleeping with is best friend. He'll get over it, but before he does he is going to tell everyone he knows about his ex girl friend and his best friend. By the way, anytime you have sex, you meant to do it, even if you were drinking. Sex is one thing that doesn't just happen by accident, and if you think it does you need to go to the doctor and have your head examined. In the meantime smile, when you finally get out of junior high school and become a teenager everything will look different to you and this whole thing will be behind you.
How does this work exactly? There are several decisions you made before sex just "happened"; what made his best friend so attractive?
What does "he found out in a bad way" mean?
There's no way to take it back, you can't fix it, and either your ex will forgive you or he won't. However, since he is indeed your ex, what is all the angst and drama about?
Quote:
Originally Posted by msblueeyes86
So my ex just found out that I slept with his best friend and I didn't mean to do it, but I know I can't blame drinking. We were not together at the time and he found out in a bad way but I feel really bad about the whole thing. It was a mistake and I wish I could take it back. I don't know how to fix this and it kills me how bad I hurt him.
So my ex just found out that I slept with his best friend and I didn't mean to do it, but I know I can't blame drinking. We were not together at the time and he found out in a bad way but I feel really bad about the whole thing. It was a mistake and I wish I could take it back. I don't know how to fix this and it kills me how bad I hurt him.
In what sense were you not together?
Is he your ex because of this, or was he already your ex?
At the time we were broken up. I was very depressed at the time and I did resort to drinking to cover up my feelings. I know it wasn't the right thing to do but I was hurting and I didn't want to deal with it anymore. As for his friend they are no longer friends. That night his friend text me asking for a ride home from the bar. In my buzzed state I decided to go pick him up thinking if I tell his friend how sad I was that the ex and I broke up that he might talk to him for me. Anyway I told him ex and I broke up and he offered to buy me a drink at the bar and it turned out I didn't have my wallet with me. So we drove back to my place to get my wallet and we ended up drinking two big giant bottle of wine at my place. The next morning I wake up next him naked in my bed. We both felt awful about what we did and we both decided it would be best not to tell him. So two weeks later the ex wanted to try to work things out with me and I was happy at the time, but deep down inside what I did was eating a way at me. So he found out snooping through my computer reading my personal emails. I know what I did was wrong but in all honesty we were not together so it wasn't cheating. The bad thing was it was with his friend.
So my ex just found out that I slept with his best friend and I didn't mean to do it, but I know I can't blame drinking. We were not together at the time and he found out in a bad way but I feel really bad about the whole thing. It was a mistake and I wish I could take it back. I don't know how to fix this and it kills me how bad I hurt him.
So you didn't mean to get naked and achieve an orgasm through penetration? I love how many women seem to justify everything they do. You knew exactly what you were doing, whether it was cheating or not. It's called take responsibility for your actions. "I didn't mean to do it" negates anything else you said.
At the time we were broken up. I was very depressed at the time and I did resort to drinking to cover up my feelings. I know it wasn't the right thing to do but I was hurting and I didn't want to deal with it anymore. As for his friend they are no longer friends. That night his friend text me asking for a ride home from the bar. In my buzzed state I decided to go pick him up thinking if I tell his friend how sad I was that the ex and I broke up that he might talk to him for me. Anyway I told him ex and I broke up and he offered to buy me a drink at the bar and it turned out I didn't have my wallet with me. So we drove back to my place to get my wallet and we ended up drinking two big giant bottle of wine at my place. The next morning I wake up next him naked in my bed. We both felt awful about what we did and we both decided it would be best not to tell him. So two weeks later the ex wanted to try to work things out with me and I was happy at the time, but deep down inside what I did was eating a way at me. So he found out snooping through my computer reading my personal emails. I know what I did was wrong but in all honesty we were not together so it wasn't cheating. The bad thing was it was with his friend.
Who did something wrong?
You are only Human, stop beating yourself up over this.
Yes, that is the bad thing. It absolutely matters. You and his ex friend are pretty screwed up. Although, it is good that you recognize it as a screw up.
Now I see it as a screw up on every part:
1. you for sleeping with your ex best friend
2. the guy sleeping with his best friend ex
3. the ex snooping in your emails
The first and second is not so big of offense, because you and your (ex) BF were not dating anymore,
but I would think twice going back to someone who is snooping and poking in my private life, ex or not.
Looks like a controlling freak to me.
BTW: why did your ex had access to your email?
why were you emailing his best friend after you realized that you made a "major screw up"?
why did you need your wallet if he "offered to BUY you a drink "? The bartender let you go home without paying for the drinks?
It does not make much sense...
Looks like you both wanted to go home, and you both knew why.
The first and second is not so big of offense, because you and your (ex) BF were not dating anymore,
I find this interesting since it's the prevailing view. If my husband, for example, got all screwy on me and insecure and check my emails I would have a problem with it. To counseling we would go. If my husband and I divorced, and he then slept with my best friend of 20 years, I would be devastated. Finding that behavior acceptable is sociopathic in my eyes, but that clearly can't be the case since it's the prevailing view.
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