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Marriage in the last 50 years isn't at all like it was prior to that - and thankfully so, IMO. I shudder to think that in decades past, I couldn't have obtained a divorce without a huge amount of trouble. To be stuck in a bad relationship is its own kind of hell, which many people here have known firsthand. Idealizing the concept of marriage is great, but the reality often does not match up.
Marriage is less relevant, perhaps, but plenty of people still want to get married. There are still social, financial, and legal benefits to marriage, but I'm glad to see that over time, more of those benefits are also available to those who'd rather cohabitate.
Personally, if it weren't for some of the still-existing benefits, I wouldn't have married again. With or without marriage, however, my relationship would be no different. After living together for over 7 years before marrying, nothing has really changed. We were actually concerned that marriage would harm our relationship, but have managed to avoid that pitfall!
Where I am, (Australia) there are the same financial risks if you are living in a de facto relationship. The legal status is the same and assets etc are split in the same manner.....
Yes. Especially if one doesn't work, if they bought a house together, if they bought other items like televisions, furniture together.
I knew of two women who lived together and co-owned their house and they each ended up having to get lawyers and have a court decide who got what when they went their separate ways. No children, no marriage but it was like a divorce.
People are less religious and no longer feel the need to be married under God to have sex and children. Society no longer sees premarital sex as taboo.
Thanks to feminism, women have equal legal rights, educational, career, and financial opportunities, therefore there are more options than becoming Mrs. _______.
Men don’t have to buy the cow to get the milk. Birth control pills and other options allow women sexual freedom without worrying about pregnancy. Woman can wait until later in life to have successful pregnancies.
I don’t know what you think marriage implies. To me it implies commitment, devotion and loyalty. Actually sad that so many people decide they don’t have that ability.
True. In a Godless society like ours, people don't see marriage as anything but some piece of paper they got from the government. Without religion, marriage has only whatever secular purpose the government gives it which is nil.
Today, if there are kids, the couple has to go through custody, visitation, and child support whether they ever married or just shacked up for a while or hooked up for a night. Marriage really makes no difference anymore.
The only other thing many people want marriage for is the big ceremony and parties and gifts.
Who cares what everyone else is doing? My husband and I got married because we wanted to. We love each other tremendously and couldn't be happier. Other people can go on about divorce, money, etc. - but at the end of the day, most of us want to find the love of our life. And for some people, when they are lucky enough to find the love of their life, they want to marry that person. Some people choose not to make it legal but simply share their life with that person anyway. Some people get divorced, break up, never find the right person, etc. Marriage is never going to die out because love is never going to die out - and many people in love will always want to get married.
Marrying for love is a relativity new concept, new meaning the last hundred years of so. Prior to that marriage was about two different familes merging their assets. Marriage was also a way for a man to know that his kids were actually his.(pre DNA testing)
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Originally Posted by malamute
True. In a Godless society like ours, people don't see marriage as anything but some piece of paper they got from the government. Without religion, marriage has only whatever secular purpose the government gives it which is nil.
Today, if there are kids, the couple has to go through custody, visitation, and child support whether they ever married or just shacked up for a while or hooked up for a night. Marriage really makes no difference anymore.
The only other thing many people want marriage for is the big ceremony and parties and gifts.
Exactly, mostly for women to brag to their females friends, and look down at the other women who are not married. Like their in some elite club. I want to have kids one day so that is the only reason I would get married, beacuse I believe that's the best environment to raise children. But if I didn't want kids I would never get married.
It is what it is. However, it seems young people are still being raised with expectations to marry, that you aren't complete and fulfilled unless you marry, and are somehow worth less if you don't marry/have kids. And there's that persistent problem of girls being conditioned to expect fairy tale weddings.
Hopefully parents step up and prepare their kids for the new reality.
Quote:
Originally Posted by onihC
I wonder if that is why George Clooney doesn't last more than 2 or 3 years with a girl and does not marry. Who knows, maybe he doesn't want to risk loosing it all like many other men with money.
In every culture. Monarchs did it to unite kingdoms. Landowners did it to unite land. People in Africa did it to unite tribes. In many parts of the world it still goes on today. The funny thing is those marriages usually last longer than the ones were people marry for love.
The increase in age of when people get married is a GOOD thing. I don't think anyone under 25 has any business entering into such commitment. Co-habitate, live with each other for an EXTENSIVE period of time, 1-2 years MINIMUM, preferably in a state/country with NO common law laws, which are ridiculously stupid, people should be able to co-habitate, keep separate finances, etc without the penalties of a failed marriage if they break up, they never got married. These people who DATE for a year, never live together, THEN get married are IMO being foolish and rushing in, it's no wonder the American divorce rate is half. Don't get married young, and don't think of marriage as the end all be all, you can live with someone indefinitely, never involve the financial entanglements of legal marriage, and be just fine. Same thing with kids, you don't have to/shouldn't do it just cause everyone else does, and your parents did, BE SMART, PROTECT your crap, be able to walk away scot free at any time, as Gene Simmons said of his long term girlfriend, "we make a conscious decision every day to be together", something like that.
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