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Old 12-17-2011, 01:23 PM
 
Location: USA
1,357 posts, read 968,803 times
Reputation: 2240
Female perspective...okcupid in my area was not good at all. POF is much better, lots of dates from it. I never post my picture, only send it privately if I think there is some connection. That helps with the mass emails. I have no children and am far from fat. I avoid the bad boys, even tell them they are too wild for me and to move on...ha ha

Date hookup in my area seems to be full of illiterates. Most of the messages are some form of hey baby wassup, or my favorite one...me, u, tonite.

 
Old 12-17-2011, 01:29 PM
 
16,008 posts, read 9,074,817 times
Reputation: 6060
Quote:
Originally Posted by Prince_Frog View Post
My only beef with single mothers is not that they're single mothers, but many aren't willing to have anymore children.

It's basically a deal breaker for me if she says she doesn't want to have more children. I can't blame them, but I'd tell them right there that all this would become is a few hook ups and possible friendship but that's as far as it goes.
I would not rule out someone who says she doesn't want any more kids. Try to imagine her situation. Although she probably loves her children, they consume her entire life. Now you come along and tell her you want even more kids. And if you indicate that you don't want her if she doesn't want more kids (an opinion which she might change anyway later on, maybe she even says otherwise deliberately to test men), she might wonder if it is really her you claim to be interested in.
 
Old 12-17-2011, 01:36 PM
 
16,008 posts, read 9,074,817 times
Reputation: 6060
Quote:
Originally Posted by mir86 View Post
you know, I am hesitant with single dads too and there are a lot of them in my age group. I can't figure out why I'm hesitant though cause most kids love me, not to mention most men are fine with having more kids if it got that far with us. the only kids that hate me are the ones that misbehave and I have to discipline (the way I discipline is pretty nice compared to most people, lol. I know cause I work with kids), but what kid likes that anyways? Maybe I'm just afraid of baby mama drama, lol.

One of my mom's friends has a son about 8 years older than me and for the longest time, he wouldn't stop pursuing me. I finally had to tell him I only see him as a friend and nothing more and he got the hint. I also said its cause I don't want a ready made family that he has (2 girls, 10 and 8 I believe). he didn't like that response but he understood. But really,the big reason, is that I'm extremely not attracted to him, not to mention he isn't that intelligent and he complains a lot. I could get over the kid thing if I really liked him. we talk a lot and the big thing he says about his frustrations with dating is that he wants a girl he's attracted to and to him that's a girl about my build and hotter. There's more that he wants but that's the big one. He's fat and I don't know how to tell him most women of my type (and hotter) are not going to be attracted to that, soo good luck, lol.
People usually know when they are not attractive, thus they lie so much on those sites. I suppose most people on there have some sort of personal problem.
What you say about just not being attracted to that guy is also one of the reasons I don't like those sites. You get to know someone, probably based on supposedly similar interests etc. And if you like the person as such, sooner or later you will meet the person in real life and probably not feel attracted to them. But you feel like you have to be attracted to them, even tell yourself the attraction will come with time. But I think that is a pointless effort and a waste of time, your own and the other one's, as that kind of relationship is probably doomed anyway.
I experienced that very case myself years ago When I finally met her thousands of miles away, her entire family was around. And I have to admit that I found my friend's sister attractive instead of her
 
Old 12-17-2011, 01:48 PM
 
313 posts, read 245,681 times
Reputation: 88
I would love to start an account on Plenty of Fish, yet will they still trick you into actually paying for their service? Or is it all entirely free? Honestly, what would be free if I had an account on there again?
 
Old 12-17-2011, 01:48 PM
 
4,445 posts, read 4,081,099 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Neuling View Post
People usually know when they are not attractive, thus they lie so much on those sites. I suppose most people on there have some sort of personal problem.
What you say about just not being attracted to that guy is also one of the reasons I don't like those sites. You get to know someone, probably based on supposedly similar interests etc. And if you like the person as such, sooner or later you will meet the person in real life and probably not feel attracted to them. But you feel like you have to be attracted to them, even tell yourself the attraction will come with time. But I think that is a pointless effort and a waste of time, your own and the other one's, as that kind of relationship is probably doomed anyway.
I experienced that very case myself years ago :P
I tried POF not too long ago and that was how I met the last guy I dated. The first guy I met on there, from our phone conversations seemed a little off, but when I met him, that was confirmed 10 fold! The next guy who I wound up dating for a while didn't tell me he was a juvenile idiot who has no concept of a relationship until a few weeks into things. I let it go, thinking at 28 years old he must want to change that..nope. I was so very wrong, but it took another 2 months for him to realize that himself and dump me. I was however, more attracted to him in person than from the pics on the site. with him it was the opposite, as his pics weren't the best and he looked way better in person.

I've learned that if their pics are a little fuzzy or are far away pics of them so you can't fully see what they look like, then I move on to the next guy. I just assume he's ugly and doens't want anyone to see how truly ugly he is, even if from these far away pics he looks decently attractive. I put up several pics so that the guys can get a crystal clear view of whether or not they're attracted. I don't have anything to hide. Plus, I don't want to waste anyones time being dishonest. What's the point? Unless you plan to never meet, sure, go ahead and lie, about everything, lol.
 
Old 12-17-2011, 01:49 PM
 
4,445 posts, read 4,081,099 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by michael212 View Post
I would love to start an account on Plenty of Fish, yet will they still trick you into actually paying for their service? Or is it all entirely free? Honestly, what would be free if I had an account on there again?
it is 100% free.
 
Old 12-17-2011, 01:50 PM
FBJ FBJ started this thread
 
Location: Tall Building down by the river
33,778 posts, read 23,001,541 times
Reputation: 7476
Quote:
Originally Posted by michael212 View Post
I would love to start an account on Plenty of Fish, yet will they still trick you into actually paying for their service? Or is it all entirely free? Honestly, what would be free if I had an account on there again?
Everything is FREE
 
Old 12-17-2011, 01:52 PM
 
Location: Davenport, Iowa
2,432 posts, read 1,610,455 times
Reputation: 3301
Quote:
Originally Posted by Neuling View Post
People usually know when they are not attractive, thus they lie so much on those sites. I suppose most people on there have some sort of personal problem.
What you say about just not being attracted to that guy is also one of the reasons I don't like those sites. You get to know someone, probably based on supposedly similar interests etc. And if you like the person as such, sooner or later you will meet the person in real life and probably not feel attracted to them. But you feel like you have to be attracted to them, even tell yourself the attraction will come with time. But I think that is a pointless effort and a waste of time, your own and the other one's, as that kind of relationship is probably doomed anyway.
I experienced that very case myself years ago When I finally met her thousands of miles away, her entire family was around. And I have to admit that I found my friend's sister attractive instead of her
Doesn't everyone some sort of perceived personal problem? I'd love to meet those who don't so I can mirror my life around them.

If I were single I wouldn't meet someone thousands of miles away, but I have experienced what you're describing. I enjoyed the date but that was the only date we had. I felt kind of bad, but it was better than going on another date and hoping I would be more attracted to her the 2nd time around.
 
Old 12-17-2011, 01:54 PM
 
16,008 posts, read 9,074,817 times
Reputation: 6060
Maybe the fact that a site is free also attracts odd people. If someone invests in a paid service they are probably more serious and honest
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Old 12-17-2011, 01:54 PM
FBJ FBJ started this thread
 
Location: Tall Building down by the river
33,778 posts, read 23,001,541 times
Reputation: 7476
No one is supposed to be meeting anyone 1000 miles away.
Closed Thread

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