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Unread 12-17-2011, 11:52 AM
 
6 posts, read 2,647 times
Reputation: 10
Default Be Friends With A Girls Husband If Girl Likes Me?

Pretty straight forward.

I'm in the military and a co-worker who got here about 7 months ago likes me and I like her. I'm not he one to cheat with her on her husband, but if she was single it would be another story. A little while after she got here I she told her husband she thought I was cute and it has gone down hill ever since. He wouldn't shake my hand when I tried to meet him and one night after getting into a fight with her he went to the on base bar, ran into my flight chief, and pretty much threatened to go to our 1st Sergeant over me even though I haven't done anything. Yes, we flirt at work, but that's it. Honestly this guy treats her like **** and they got married in our tech school, which is two and a half months long so pretty much after a month and a half of dating they got married. Because of what he's done in the past he dictates what shift I work because they don't want the girl and I on the same shift, even though we are right now due to manning issues. I can not stand this! He's not even in the Air Force (got kicked out of the Air Guard) and he's the one that decides what shift I work, so it's pretty obvious that we do not like each other. Every other day they are fighting about me and it's getting of the way of work and it's distracting. He doesn't like me because his wife is into me and I don't like him because he tried to ruin my career. We have never said a word to each other, so my question is this...

Since it's getting in the way of my work, should I try and confront him to squash this finally? Would it make me look good in the girls eye or like a pansy?

Also one last question... Like I said it has been 7 months. Is this still a crush or would it have moved past this by now?
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Unread 12-17-2011, 11:56 AM
 
Location: Middle of the ocean
7,654 posts, read 3,393,493 times
Reputation: 10759
Quote:
Originally Posted by weezy89 View Post
Pretty straight forward.



Since it's getting in the way of my work, should I try and confront him to squash this finally? Would it make me look good in the girls eye or like a pansy?

?
The girl said she is into you, and you are worried about the above.

I think her husband is justified.
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Unread 12-17-2011, 12:15 PM
 
6 posts, read 2,647 times
Reputation: 10
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mikala43 View Post
The girl said she is into you, and you are worried about the above.

I think her husband is justified.
Regardless, I sent him a message asking if we could talk about it since his attitude towards me and his relationship with his life is getting in the way of work. He hasn't responded.

I tried, right?
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Unread 12-17-2011, 12:23 PM
 
Location: Middle of the ocean
7,654 posts, read 3,393,493 times
Reputation: 10759
Quote:
Originally Posted by weezy89 View Post
Regardless, I sent him a message asking if we could talk about it since his attitude towards me and his relationship with his life is getting in the way of work. He hasn't responded.

I tried, right?
And your attitude and the woman's in question is getting in the way of his marriage.
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Unread 12-17-2011, 12:26 PM
 
Location: Harrisonburg, VA
993 posts, read 721,512 times
Reputation: 1178
If she cheats on her husband with you, then eventually she will cheat on you too.
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Unread 12-17-2011, 12:28 PM
 
Location: Peoples Republic of Cali
9,161 posts, read 4,158,073 times
Reputation: 4938
Lots of women out there, why mess with a married one, it's only going to bring more drama than it already has.
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Unread 12-17-2011, 12:35 PM
 
7,875 posts, read 5,234,285 times
Reputation: 7995
Quote:
Originally Posted by weezy89 View Post
Pretty straight forward.

I'm in the military and a co-worker who got here about 7 months ago likes me and I like her. I'm not he one to cheat with her on her husband, but if she was single it would be another story. A little while after she got here I she told her husband she thought I was cute and it has gone down hill ever since. He wouldn't shake my hand when I tried to meet him and one night after getting into a fight with her he went to the on base bar, ran into my flight chief, and pretty much threatened to go to our 1st Sergeant over me even though I haven't done anything. Yes, we flirt at work, but that's it. Honestly this guy treats her like **** and they got married in our tech school, which is two and a half months long so pretty much after a month and a half of dating they got married. Because of what he's done in the past he dictates what shift I work because they don't want the girl and I on the same shift, even though we are right now due to manning issues. I can not stand this! He's not even in the Air Force (got kicked out of the Air Guard) and he's the one that decides what shift I work, so it's pretty obvious that we do not like each other. Every other day they are fighting about me and it's getting of the way of work and it's distracting. He doesn't like me because his wife is into me and I don't like him because he tried to ruin my career. We have never said a word to each other, so my question is this...

Since it's getting in the way of my work, should I try and confront him to squash this finally? Would it make me look good in the girls eye or like a pansy?

Also one last question... Like I said it has been 7 months. Is this still a crush or would it have moved past this by now?
Your career is being ruined by this BS, and you're concerned if she likes you. Get a grip, don't confront the husband, see if you can transfer. What are you thinking, continuing to flirt w/ a trouble maker?? She is making her choices to stay w/ him, you need to focus on your job. Makes me worry about active duty, grow up.
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Unread 12-17-2011, 12:41 PM
 
Location: Tucson
42,853 posts, read 48,902,058 times
Reputation: 22645
Quote:
Originally Posted by JanND View Post
see if you can transfer
That's the ideal idea! The second best is to try to rearrange your shifts in order to stay away from her on your own! What in the world attracts people to such messes anyway?! A strong competitive streak?
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Unread 12-17-2011, 12:51 PM
 
6 posts, read 2,647 times
Reputation: 10
Quote:
Originally Posted by JanND View Post
Your career is being ruined by this BS, and you're concerned if she likes you. Get a grip, don't confront the husband, see if you can transfer. What are you thinking, continuing to flirt w/ a trouble maker?? She is making her choices to stay w/ him, you need to focus on your job. Makes me worry about active duty, grow up.
Oh, believe me I am, but not because of this, but because I'm just trying to progress through my career.

I would think me trying to be-friend her husband to set everything straight would be the mature thing to do.
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Unread 12-17-2011, 12:53 PM
 
1,409 posts, read 823,987 times
Reputation: 1741
Quote:
Originally Posted by weezy89 View Post
Pretty straight forward.

I'm in the military and a co-worker who got here about 7 months ago likes me and I like her. I'm not he one to cheat with her on her husband, but if she was single it would be another story. A little while after she got here I she told her husband she thought I was cute and it has gone down hill ever since. He wouldn't shake my hand when I tried to meet him and one night after getting into a fight with her he went to the on base bar, ran into my flight chief, and pretty much threatened to go to our 1st Sergeant over me even though I haven't done anything. Yes, we flirt at work, but that's it. Honestly this guy treats her like **** and they got married in our tech school, which is two and a half months long so pretty much after a month and a half of dating they got married. Because of what he's done in the past he dictates what shift I work because they don't want the girl and I on the same shift, even though we are right now due to manning issues. I can not stand this! He's not even in the Air Force (got kicked out of the Air Guard) and he's the one that decides what shift I work, so it's pretty obvious that we do not like each other. Every other day they are fighting about me and it's getting of the way of work and it's distracting. He doesn't like me because his wife is into me and I don't like him because he tried to ruin my career. We have never said a word to each other, so my question is this...

Since it's getting in the way of my work, should I try and confront him to squash this finally? Would it make me look good in the girls eye or like a pansy?

Also one last question... Like I said it has been 7 months. Is this still a crush or would it have moved past this by now?
Ugh...

Please don't be another testosterone driven immature young man who believes everyone elses relationship status is their business.

Back off, stop flirting with her at work, make your only interaction with her be whats necessary for work - no more!

Sounds like with what you're doing you're either on the path towards us reading your obituary somewhere, or ending up in jail.

Immaturity + overwhelming emotions + delicate young male egos + access to weapons isn't a good mix.

Be the mature one, back off completely from both of them, and go find a better candidate.

Sounds like the military is attempting to advert potential disaster, just you're too involved and immature to see it.
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