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Old 12-18-2011, 10:08 AM
 
Location: In my view finder.....
8,521 posts, read 13,164,743 times
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If you're in the mentioned situation, when did your love for you SO diminish?

How long have you been married?
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Old 12-18-2011, 10:26 AM
 
1,088 posts, read 2,190,581 times
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I suspect my parents are in this situation. Married for 35+ years but probably stopped loving each other 15-20 years ago. They're probably still together because although they don't love each other anymore, they get along just fine (hardly ever argue, etc.) and its a convenient living situation. However, they show zero affection, don't give each other gifts/cards, don't do any activities together, never travel anywhere together, etc. I can't see either of them living alone, since they depend on each other for too many practical things. Dad for earning $$ and maintaining the house, mom for cooking/cleaning, etc.
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Old 12-18-2011, 10:33 AM
 
Location: Tucson
42,837 posts, read 75,406,621 times
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No anonymous poll?! This baby won't be one of your successful BS-generators, Ronnie... RIP, thread!
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Old 12-18-2011, 10:33 AM
 
Location: USA
17,262 posts, read 12,761,695 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JohnZ963 View Post
I suspect my parents are in this situation. Married for 35+ years but probably stopped loving each other 15-20 years ago. They're probably still together because although they don't love each other anymore, they get along just fine (hardly ever argue, etc.) and its a convenient living situation. However, they show zero affection, don't give each other gifts/cards, don't do any activities together, never travel anywhere together, etc. I can't see either of them living alone, since they depend on each other for too many practical things.
This is way more typical than most believe. My mother and father fit this description also. I would say they love each other, but it is more like siblings. Idealist, typically deny this so common, but the evidence is overwhelming.
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Old 12-18-2011, 12:05 PM
 
Location: tampa bay
6,343 posts, read 6,162,067 times
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While the romantic love does fade...(at least on my part)I know my children believe my husband loves me very much and would do and does anything in his power to make me happy!We realize the kids will be moving on very soon and we still enjoy eachothers company...now when he retires and is around 24/7 that may change! We have been married 25+ yrs!I think most kids think parents are more like brother/sister because in our culture we are uncomfortable thinking of our parents as sexual...and our PDA went way down when the kids got older as to not gross them out!!
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Old 12-18-2011, 01:03 PM
 
Location: Tucson
42,837 posts, read 75,406,621 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Irishiis49 View Post
...and our PDA went way down when the kids got older as to not gross them out!!
I find this SO wrong! But it is in line with your other views on child-rearing and I'm not surprised.
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Old 12-18-2011, 01:04 PM
 
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Yes , it's exactly the same with my wife, we care a lot about each other, but it'smore a brother / sister relationship, sleep in the same bed and I massage her though (it's sensual not sexual) but we are close to sixty after all, her daughter is 30, my son 26, thier turn to have an intense sexual life!
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Old 12-18-2011, 01:24 PM
 
Location: tampa bay
6,343 posts, read 6,162,067 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sierraAZ View Post
I find this SO wrong! But it is in line with your other views on child-rearing and I'm not surprised.
There is the way I would like the world to be and then there is the way the world is!After well over 25yrs of marriage things change...that's why many marriages end because they miss the romantic love they had.It's a reality of life!I view my husband as someone who always has our children and my best interests at heart.Everything is a trade-off in life...everyone has to decide for themselves what they are willing to sacrafice to achieve their own goals!I admire people like George Clooney that chose a lifestyle that suits them and don't inflict wives and children with unhappiness to achieve it!
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Old 12-18-2011, 01:31 PM
 
Location: Tucson
42,837 posts, read 75,406,621 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Irishiis49 View Post
There is the way I would like the world to be and then there is the way the world is!After well over 25yrs of marriage things change...that's why many marriages end because they miss the romantic love they had.It's a reality of life!I view my husband as someone who always has our children and my best interests at heart.Everything is a trade-off in life...everyone has to decide for themselves what they are willing to sacrafice to achieve their own goals!I admire people like George Clooney that chose a lifestyle that suits them and don't inflict wives and children with unhappiness to achieve it!
All of the above has nothing to do with not showing affection because the poor kids will be "grossed-out" !
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Old 12-18-2011, 01:32 PM
 
Location: Way up high
14,057 posts, read 19,513,865 times
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My parents are in the same boat. I couldn't imagine spending 45+ years with someone who don't truly love. Oh well. I'll never do the same thing!
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