Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
But, alimony? Why? Did he give up the best years of his life and career to be a stay-at-home dad such that he no longer has marketable skills?
FTR, I think alimony is a b.s. concept unless that is the case, so you He-Men Women-Haters who are about to jump down my throat and accuse me of thinking it's okay for women to collect it, that is not the case. The dissolution of a marriage is a dissolution of a marriage. Unless there has been sacrifice such that the ex cannot support himself or herself, tough noogs.
How much does it cost on average to get a divorce?
It depends on the state, but in MD, the other spouse can ask for any property acquired during the marriage, alimony etc. My ex (YAYYY) actually had the nerve to try to get medical payments for his prescription drugs and part of the assets I had BEFORE the marriage.
The other spouse can ask for ANYTHING if they're a$$holes enough, and if you are the higher earning spouse, you could be fleeced by legal fees in order to avoid being fleeced by the spouse. Depending on how much you've saved and worked for, the difference may be big or not so big...but honestly I would rather pay the laywer, who at least WORKS for a living, rather than my former husband. Luckily he "settled" for alimony, so I didn't have to pay additional legal fees to protect MY house and savings, which he did not contribute to AT ALL...in fact I supported the guy and paid for his education for the majority of our marriage. I totally was taken advantage of...but I learned valuable lessons.
Costs are variable, but in MD:
1. Legal Fees $3500+ - Start out at about $3500, unless you work under the table and pretend to be broke like my ex and get a public defender, which I believe is free. Lawyers charge $200+ per hour for the work they do. Unless you're unemployed, you pretty much need a lawyer to do all the paperwork, respond to the other attorney etc. I also noticed in divorce court, the judge knows all the laywers and it may be difficult to get his/her attention w/o a lawyer present. If the judge has a good relationship w/ the lawyer, it may be helpful to the case.
2. Settlement Costs $5000+ - IF you are able to settle--which means the greedy spouse accepts money TODAY instead of possible money in several months--you can pay him/her to get out of your life. Costs may be $5000+ for a working-class/middle class person. You notice wealthy people sometimes end up doing a settlement for millions. Well, it is the same, but in smaller amounts. It still sucks. My ex-spouse agreed to accept a settlement paid out monthly as alimony, which thank god is tax-deductible. So I assume wealthy people also do the same deal...the wife or husband gets say 10 million dollars, and you pay it out over XYZ months and get a tax deduction. If you are a celebrity or something, and end up paying out for 5 years, there's still time to become bankrupt or whatever, and totally screw the greedy spouse before the payout's complete.
3. Loss of Assets $10,000 + - If the spouse refuses to settle and can procure a lawyer, he/she can go after "marital" property, which is anything you may have gotten after marriage. The spouse can also try to argue for stuff you got BEFORE marriage, try to force you to pay for medical insurance, school fees for the children, the equity in your home(s), savings accounts, cars, gold/silver, furniture etc. Depending on how much you appear to possess, you can lose 1/2 of it PLUS whatever you paid in legal fees to do all the paperwork to get the divorce completed.
In a no fault divorce state, even if the spouse slept w/ a thousand other women or men or aardvarks during the marriage, withheld s@xual activity, punched you in the abdomen...he/she can STILL try to get the property.
But honestly, a lot of people are fleeced by the spouse, but get back on their feet, so I'm hopeful.
The discussion of divorce fees is off-topic. Please relate posts to the OP.
(Btw - congrats, kinkytoes. )
__________________
My posts as a Moderator will always be in red.
Be sure to review Terms of Service: TOS And check this out: FAQ
Moderator of Canada (and sub-fora), Illinois (and sub-fora), Indiana (and sub-fora), Caregiving, Community Chat, Fashion & Beauty, Hair Care, Games/Trivia, History, Nature, Non-romantic Relationships, Psychology, Travel, Work & Employment, Writing.
___________________________
~ Life's a gift. Don't waste it. ~
Sure. She wanted kids and so did I, but I was having career issues. She expected to be able to stay home with kids for 2 years and not work. How does that happen in this economy (this was 3 years ago, and economy still no better today) when your husband isn't working? Additionally, I was a terrible communicator and needed to work on that. I'm much better at it now, but she didn't stick around to find out. Bottom lin is times were tough and she bailed on the marriage. No infidelity, abuse, addictions, etc. on my part. But I've blamed myself anyway for the bad communication. She didn't feel loved because I was depressed and not working.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
)
