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Lately my parents have been bugging the hell out of me about marriage. My mother always asks "have you been looking for a ring? doesn't she ask about getting married?" My dad just straight up asks "so when are you going to get married? you know if you don't get engaged she might leave you" My answer is always "you'll find out when it happens" which leaves them scratching their heads and pestering me even more the next time I talk/see them.
I'm an only child and my parents are inching towards retirement. I can tell they're itching for grandchildren to give them a greater purpose when they retire.
My GF and I have been together for 6 years and have been living together for 2 years. We both understand that marriage is the next step and she doesn't really bug me about it. Also we both landed "good jobs" and moved to DC this past summer. We're still getting settled in our new careers and new city. If we were still living/working in our hometown I'm sure my GF would be nagging me as well. I know she doesn't want to wait years for me to pop the question BUT I want to make sure I'm secure at my job, finances are straight, and debts paid off.
Since you are the only child, you are getting all their attention. It is expected that they behave that way. But after all, it is your decision.
If the man is not ready to be married he's not ready. He has a good thing going so why mess it up? If anyone is to blame for taking so long it's the woman. She should have never moved in with him playing man and wife without the paper.
As for myself I would ride it out as long as I could because for all intent and purposes they are acting married but without all the legal concerns.
He may not be expressing it but he's not intent on getting married for his own reasons. When he's ready he will do it and if he does it due to pressure from others the marriage is doomed to fail. So get married when your ready..
If you two have been together for 6 years and are already living together... why not just get married already? What's the wait?
Ideally getting married after 6 years together is a no brainer, if the status quo of a diamond ring and lavish wedding wasn't involved in the initial stage of marriage I'd be married 2 years ago.
BTW my GF is an event planner and is already taking mental notes of how she wants our wedding planed. So it's not gonna be cheap
My answer is always "you'll find out when it happens" which leaves them scratching their heads and pestering me even more the next time I talk/see them.
Instead of that usual answer, maybe next time you should tell them your very valid reasons for waiting right now:
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I want to make sure I'm secure at my job, finances are straight, and debts paid off.
That sounds perfectly reasonable and if you word it that way, hopefully your parents can see your point of view
Ideally getting married after 6 years together is a no brainer, if the status quo of a diamond ring and lavish wedding wasn't involved in the initial stage of marriage I'd be married 2 years ago.
Weird, I know of no laws that state you have to do the "status quo."
I'm sort of in the same boat. My parents got their collection of rings and diamonds appraised a few weeks ago. They keep asking me which one do I want to use. It's annoying so say the least.
Lately my parents have been bugging the hell out of me about marriage. My mother always asks "have you been looking for a ring? doesn't she ask about getting married?" My dad just straight up asks "so when are you going to get married? you know if you don't get engaged she might leave you" My answer is always "you'll find out when it happens" which leaves them scratching their heads and pestering me even more the next time I talk/see them.
I'm an only child and my parents are inching towards retirement. I can tell they're itching for grandchildren to give them a greater purpose when they retire.
Learn to set effective limits NOW.
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My GF and I have been together for 6 years and have been living together for 2 years. We both understand that marriage is the next step and she doesn't really bug me about it. Also we both landed "good jobs" and moved to DC this past summer. We're still getting settled in our new careers and new city. If we were still living/working in our hometown I'm sure my GF would be nagging me as well. I know she doesn't want to wait years for me to pop the question BUT I want to make sure I'm secure at my job, finances are straight, and debts paid off.
Six years is a long time to not decide to either **** or get off the pot.
If you two have been together for 6 years and are already living together... why not just get married already? What's the wait?
See, that's my question too. Young couples who date for years and years, AND YEARS, without getting married seem to lack a commitment to one another if you ask me.
I understand wanting to have your education finished and your career off the ground - that's very smart.
But once that is done, make the commitment already - or let your SO move on and find someone who CAN commit to them.
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