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Old 12-21-2011, 12:33 PM
 
Location: Kansas City Metro
203 posts, read 431,529 times
Reputation: 662

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I'm going to make a long story short. My now ex boyfriend cruised escort sites, CraigsList, Backpage, DAILY for escorts/prostitutes/backrubs/massages. I thought, at the time, that I was providing everything he needed sexually. But he always treated me as more of a toy to do his bidding..never paid any attention to my needs and left me frustrated anytime we had sex.

One day I looked at his history on his computer and there it all was. Now I knew why. So, he sees women as nothing more than, to be blunt, robots that have assorted holes for his pleasure only.

He was very unaffectionate, hated kissing, in fact wouldn't even do it..my question for all of you arm chair doctors, What would cause someone to be like this? He has a great warm loving family, good relationship with his parents, sisters, etc.

I just don't understand why..when he had a warm, loving, real breathing woman right next to him, that he had to turn to whores.
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Old 12-21-2011, 12:35 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,269 posts, read 88,498,926 times
Reputation: 39856
Quote:
Originally Posted by Adoptstrays View Post
I'm going to make a long story short. My now ex boyfriend cruised escort sites, CraigsList, Backpage, DAILY for escorts/prostitutes/backrubs/massages. I thought, at the time, that I was providing everything he needed sexually. But he always treated me as more of a toy to do his bidding..never paid any attention to my needs and left me frustrated anytime we had sex.

One day I looked at his history on his computer and there it all was. Now I knew why. So, he sees women as nothing more than, to be blunt, robots that have assorted holes for his pleasure only.

He was very unaffectionate, hated kissing, in fact wouldn't even do it..my question for all of you arm chair doctors, What would cause someone to be like this? He has a great warm loving family, good relationship with his parents, sisters, etc.

I just don't understand why..when he had a warm, loving, real breathing woman right next to him, that he had to turn to whores.

Men like this have deep seated intimacy issues that require a lot of hard work by the most motivated man to overcome.

You dodged a huge bullet, so consider yourself fortunate.
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Old 12-21-2011, 12:37 PM
 
10,139 posts, read 23,276,430 times
Reputation: 8290
Quote:
Originally Posted by Adoptstrays View Post
I'm going to make a long story short. My now ex boyfriend cruised escort sites, CraigsList, Backpage, DAILY for escorts/prostitutes/backrubs/massages. I thought, at the time, that I was providing everything he needed sexually. But he always treated me as more of a toy to do his bidding..never paid any attention to my needs and left me frustrated anytime we had sex.

One day I looked at his history on his computer and there it all was. Now I knew why. So, he sees women as nothing more than, to be blunt, robots that have assorted holes for his pleasure only.

He was very unaffectionate, hated kissing, in fact wouldn't even do it..my question for all of you arm chair doctors, What would cause someone to be like this? He has a great warm loving family, good relationship with his parents, sisters, etc.

I just don't understand why..when he had a warm, loving, real breathing woman right next to him, that he had to turn to whores.
Actually, you answered your question in the first paragraph. He didn't want to be a partner with you, he only wanted to fulfill his own needs. Hence, the prostitutes. Nothing more complicated than that. Move on. He was a loser.
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Old 12-21-2011, 12:42 PM
 
Location: Kansas City Metro
203 posts, read 431,529 times
Reputation: 662
He actually proposed marriage. So he thought he wanted me, loved me, bought me a ring. Yeah I dodged a huge bullet. Actually I think it was a missile. He's freakin 37 years old, good looking, been married once, very sweet..and then I find this secret and put the pieces together. I thought it was my fault he wasn't ever wanting to please me too so I would wash/scrub myself constantly, smell great, etc..nope didn't work.
Thank God he's gone.
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Old 12-21-2011, 12:44 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,269 posts, read 88,498,926 times
Reputation: 39856
Quote:
Originally Posted by Adoptstrays View Post
He actually proposed marriage. So he thought he wanted me, loved me, bought me a ring. Yeah I dodged a huge bullet. Actually I think it was a missile. He's freakin 37 years old, good looking, been married once, very sweet..and then I find this secret and put the pieces together. I thought it was my fault he wasn't ever wanting to please me too so I would wash/scrub myself constantly, smell great, etc..nope didn't work.
Thank God he's gone.
His issues were not your fault.

Glad you get that
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Old 12-21-2011, 12:45 PM
 
2,447 posts, read 2,677,775 times
Reputation: 2203
All the sex without people coercing you into commitment. Some people don't want to commit for various reasons. It's not bad, it's mean you aren't compatible. Just meet someone that wants what you want.
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Old 12-21-2011, 12:59 PM
 
916 posts, read 1,763,491 times
Reputation: 2197
Quote:
Originally Posted by Adoptstrays View Post
I'm going to make a long story short. My now ex boyfriend cruised escort sites, CraigsList, Backpage, DAILY for escorts/prostitutes/backrubs/massages. I thought, at the time, that I was providing everything he needed sexually. But he always treated me as more of a toy to do his bidding..never paid any attention to my needs and left me frustrated anytime we had sex.

One day I looked at his history on his computer and there it all was. Now I knew why. So, he sees women as nothing more than, to be blunt, robots that have assorted holes for his pleasure only.

He was very unaffectionate, hated kissing, in fact wouldn't even do it..my question for all of you arm chair doctors, What would cause someone to be like this? He has a great warm loving family, good relationship with his parents, sisters, etc.

I just don't understand why..when he had a warm, loving, real breathing woman right next to him, that he had to turn to whores.
Does it really matter why he does it? Will understanding why he treated you "as more of a toy to do his bidding" make how he acted any less thoughtless, uncaring, callous or shabby?

There's a story I heard this morning that applies: A man gets shot in the leg with a poison arrow. His friend goes to pull out the arrow, so that the wound can start to heal. But first the man demands to know all sorts of things before he will let his friend pull out the arrow: Who shot the arrow? What kind of bow did he use? What kind of feathers were used in making the arrow? Where did he get the poison? Why did he shoot the man in the leg, and not the arm or the chest? As the man demands his answers, the poison makes him sicker and sicker.

OP, just pull out the arrow.
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Old 12-21-2011, 01:05 PM
 
3,458 posts, read 3,109,988 times
Reputation: 1532
Quote:
Originally Posted by Adoptstrays View Post
I'm going to make a long story short. My now ex boyfriend cruised escort sites, CraigsList, Backpage, DAILY for escorts/prostitutes/backrubs/massages. I thought, at the time, that I was providing everything he needed sexually. But he always treated me as more of a toy to do his bidding..never paid any attention to my needs and left me frustrated anytime we had sex.

One day I looked at his history on his computer and there it all was. Now I knew why. So, he sees women as nothing more than, to be blunt, robots that have assorted holes for his pleasure only.

He was very unaffectionate, hated kissing, in fact wouldn't even do it..my question for all of you arm chair doctors, What would cause someone to be like this? He has a great warm loving family, good relationship with his parents, sisters, etc.

I just don't understand why..when he had a warm, loving, real breathing woman right next to him, that he had to turn to whores.
my guess would be that he was specifically attracted to loose, wild, slutty women.
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Old 12-21-2011, 01:12 PM
 
Location: Kansas City Metro
203 posts, read 431,529 times
Reputation: 662
Quote:
Originally Posted by RockJock1729 View Post
Does it really matter why he does it? Will understanding why he treated you "as more of a toy to do his bidding" make how he acted any less thoughtless, uncaring, callous or shabby?

There's a story I heard this morning that applies: A man gets shot in the leg with a poison arrow. His friend goes to pull out the arrow, so that the wound can start to heal. But first the man demands to know all sorts of things before he will let his friend pull out the arrow: Who shot the arrow? What kind of bow did he use? What kind of feathers were used in making the arrow? Where did he get the poison? Why did he shoot the man in the leg, and not the arm or the chest? As the man demands his answers, the poison makes him sicker and sicker.

OP, just pull out the arrow.
Oh I pulled out the arrow and broke it over my knee in five places.

I was just curious what makes a person like that. He could bottlefeed a kitten on the brink of death every hour on the hour and cuddle and sleep with it, but could he put an arm around me or give me a hug? I just think it's freakin W.E.I.R.D.
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Old 12-21-2011, 01:18 PM
 
Location: NC
6,032 posts, read 7,557,107 times
Reputation: 6351
Curious... did you KEEP the ring?
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