Question about asking women out? (dating, boyfriends, love, single)

[719inhere]

Okay, I'm a 19 year old guy, almost 20. I've always been kinda shy in my life, until I went to my first semester of college and I really became very sociable. In fact I usually started the conversations I had with people, well, mostly small talk I should say. I wasn't even afraid of talking to girls who I liked, which was new to me because as I said I've always been shy. So right now I'm taking a break from school and looking for a job. So I won't be in that social setting, but I feel like I might be able to approach a female and ask them out, and not be scared of a possible rejection.

My question is more geared towards the ladies, how do you like a man to approach you? Would you say in most cases, a man coming up and asking for your number is cool and flattering?

I'd also like to say I've tried online dating, and had no success with it. Didn't even get any dates, and wasn't patient enough to wait more than a couple days before becoming frustarated. So I realize my chances are better in real life situations.

[MMoon17]

Strike up a conversation, realize there are some things in common, and exchange numbers. I find it creepy when someone gets numbers by drinking or just when all you really know from someone is their first name and how they look.

[lovesMountains]

Originally Posted by 719inhere

Okay, I'm a 19 year old guy, almost 20. I've always been kinda shy in my life, until I went to my first semester of college and I really became very sociable. In fact I usually started the conversations I had with people, well, mostly small talk I should say. I wasn't even afraid of talking to girls who I liked, which was new to me because as I said I've always been shy. So right now I'm taking a break from school and looking for a job. So I won't be in that social setting, but I feel like I might be able to approach a female and ask them out, and not be scared of a possible rejection.

My question is more geared towards the ladies, how do you like a man to approach you? Would you say in most cases, a man coming up and asking for your number is cool and flattering?

I'd also like to say I've tried online dating, and had no success with it. Didn't even get any dates, and wasn't patient enough to wait more than a couple days before becoming frustarated. So I realize my chances are better in real life situations.

Good for you for making the efforts to be more sociable!

Going forward, just be smooth. You don't want to hit a girl up for her phone number within a minute of meeting her. Share a little small talk, try to find a common interest, then work it into the conversation that you'd like to call her sometime if she'll share her number.

Good luck!

[719inhere]

Originally Posted by lovesMountains

Good for you for making the efforts to be more sociable!

Going forward, just be smooth. You don't want to hit a girl up for her phone number within a minute of meeting her. Share a little small talk, try to find a common interest, then work it into the conversation that you'd like to call her sometime if she'll share her number.

Good luck!

Thanks for the advice, only one thing though. Lets say I'm just out and about at a mall, or grocery store, wherever. How should I go about starting to talk to a girl? Just approach them, and try and make some small talk and see where it goes from there?

[sydney1987]

Originally Posted by 719inhere

Thanks for the advice, only one thing though. Lets say I'm just out and about at a mall, or grocery store, wherever. How should I go about starting to talk to a girl? Just approach them, and try and make some small talk and see where it goes from there?

Frankly, I'd get a bit creeped out by meeting someone at the mall or grocery store. I mean, I might strike a conversation and give someone my number. But actually picking up the call or going out with someone I met in these places... probably not.

Your best bet is probably clubs and interest groups in college. And classes. Those are the three best places, in my opinion, where I'd feel comfortable being asked out and actually go out with the guy.

Who wants to go out with a potential creepo from the grocery store? Not me!

[719inhere]

Originally Posted by sydney1987

Frankly, I'd get a bit creeped out by meeting someone at the mall or grocery store. I mean, I might strike a conversation and give someone my number. But actually picking up the call or going out with someone I met in these places... probably not.

Your best bet is probably clubs and interest groups in college. And classes. Those are the three best places, in my opinion, where I'd feel comfortable being asked out and actually go out with the guy.

Who wants to go out with a potential creepo from the grocery store? Not me!

Thats my biggest problem though, I've already tried asking girls out in classes at the college I went to and to a far lesser extent in high school too. For example, in my first semester of college I was interested in three girls. I asked all of them out. Two of the three had boyfriends already, the other one wasn't interested. So to me, school wasn't as great as a place to meet women as I thought it would've been and had heard that it would be from people. I know there is clubs, but the concerning thing for me is I'm not just looking for a "one night stand" which seems to be a common theme with clubs. Plus I'm only right around 20 yo, so I can't drink at a club yet, isn't that generally why people go clubbing?

[oceanman76]

Originally Posted by 719inhere

Okay, I'm a 19 year old guy, almost 20. I've always been kinda shy in my life, until I went to my first semester of college and I really became very sociable. In fact I usually started the conversations I had with people, well, mostly small talk I should say. I wasn't even afraid of talking to girls who I liked, which was new to me because as I said I've always been shy. So right now I'm taking a break from school and looking for a job. So I won't be in that social setting, but I feel like I might be able to approach a female and ask them out, and not be scared of a possible rejection.

My question is more geared towards the ladies, how do you like a man to approach you? Would you say in most cases, a man coming up and asking for your number is cool and flattering?

I'd also like to say I've tried online dating, and had no success with it. Didn't even get any dates, and wasn't patient enough to wait more than a couple days before becoming frustarated. So I realize my chances are better in real life situations.

So you are taking a "break" from school and you don't have a job? Imo, you have bigger problems to take care of before you start worrying about asking women out.

[chielgirl]

Coffee dates are always a simple way to start - public, short, inexpensive.

[ChiGuy2.5]

A fellow 23 year old male here. The VERY best way to meet girls is to have a mutual friend. Hang out with buddies, extend your social network, and increase your footprint. If you have a mutual friend you automatically have an IN and have pretty much lost all potential for being seen as creepy, unless you are actually social awkward.

I avoided relationships like the plague in college and I would suggest you keep an open mind to being single. Those are the times of your life to be wild, free, and in some cases reckless. Live it up and don't put too much emphasis on finding someone to date, usually it falls into your lap when you least expect it.

[Megan1967]

Frankly any guy "hitting on" me out of the blue in public sort of creeps me out. NEVER do it in their workplace. I've had that happen more than once and it is really uncomfortable.

Join a club, volunteer for a cause you are interested in, do things that will bring you into contact with people of both genders. Mixed settings like that were you are working on a project or a common goal allow people to get to know each other without that much pressure. You can get to know a woman better by including her in outside activities.