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Old 12-25-2011, 09:28 PM
 
1,846 posts, read 2,424,539 times
Reputation: 2482

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Quote:
Originally Posted by XmadisonX View Post
he told me he had it to . I went to get other STD tests and He lied and said he did . I came back negative and his fake report said he was negative of other STDS.

He put MY health at Risk FOR LYING that he had a STD testing done when in fact the report he printed for me was a fake.
I am so sorry this happened to you...I would like to tell you that thisw ill not happen again however there never are certainties in this life..I cannot even tell you that there are tell tale signs becuse even there are general indicators some people are just that good and are grand manipulators..

What I do want you to do is put this behind you as best you can and use this as one of those things, it is but a minute in your life sweety...a new year is coming and karma will be good to you...best of luck!!!!<3

Quote:
Originally Posted by Caltovegas View Post
Document everything and have no contact with him. Do not meet him and do not talk to him.. IMO there was no need to contact the wife. Once you found out he was married it should have ended there. Now look at all the drama and potential future drama you can be involved in.

Let's be honest...You called the wife to get back at him.. I have ran into married women and once I found out everything stopped.. Getting into situations where emotions are involved can be dangerous. If there's a police report against you even for professional reason you want to keep any drama from you... Since they took it to the police you need to protect yourself because now there is paperwork against you in a data base somewhere..
Okay, good points in asking that she document everything moving forward...
But to state "Look at the drama and future drama you have gotten yourself in"

I do not understand this theory...
Calling anyone is not aginst the law..unless there is a court order..
drama? I do not see her causing it..she was unknowingly drawn into a couples drama if we want to be technical.

This man knowingly cheated on his wife with the OP..The OP was unaware of all of this nd once she found out? She was disgusted and felt betrayed, this is a normal feeling..
Technically she is the other woman however she did not know..meaning she was being cheated on as well..
The wife in question is in denial, being manipulated by her husband..
I can almost bet that the police were involved because the wife had been reming her husband a new one and he probably gave her some crazy story about the OP...being an aquaintance of a friend or co-worker and how yes she did like him and did not know how to take no for answer...
So a decision was made to file a 'stalker" report however the PD will not do so without evidence that constitutes more than a random call...believe me I have tried to file stalker charges for clients of mine regarding their perps...
The most the PD could do was file a incident report..
This does not mean anything, a keep the peace visit, investigating the situation and if nothing is found then an incident report is filed basically stating that an officer spoke to the OP regrding this issue...
It was unfounded or the OP would have been charged and would have had to attend court for a restraining order..
Regarding contacting the wife? Whoop dee do...A-holes like these need to be called on their crap..They need for someone to knock them down peg..They need to know that yes cheating is their right if they so choose however their is a price to pay..
So this time this guy got off the hook, but did he really? For all we know his wife is making changes as we type...
And the OP..has peace of mind that she did not just allow this to happen regardless of the outcome, she knew she did the right thing.
I applaud her, it took guts to do what she did....!!!!
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Old 12-26-2011, 06:00 AM
 
2,402 posts, read 3,034,152 times
Reputation: 4587
Quote:
Originally Posted by XmadisonX View Post
Thank you all for your responses. I contacted the wife not to abuse her but to let her know what he was doing. If I were her I like to know. Mind you I was not using protection and i have Herpes for several yrs.. He claims he did to but maybe he lied and who knows now how many other women he is with. If someone called me to let me know, I take that as someone saving my health line. I got STD test before we become sexual. He claimed to have gotten one and i found out he printed up a FAKE medical report. mine was real he even came with me to pick mine up.

Last night he texted me and wants to get back with me. telling me that he did not file a complaint because he was in love with me and not his wife and the reason his wife filed a complaint was because she does not believe me and thinks I am jealous of her and what she has.

BTW I am 45 yrs old to those who wondered how old I am.

I don;t know if you are women or men who say i should not have called the wife but, anyone who is being cheated on their heath is at risk.
Lawd have mercy. You should have left the original post at that..TMI lady..T.M.I *shakes my head in disgust*
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Old 12-27-2011, 09:02 PM
 
Location: Earth Wanderer, longing for the stars.
12,411 posts, read 14,737,944 times
Reputation: 8672
Quote:
Originally Posted by XmadisonX View Post
Thank you all for your responses. I contacted the wife not to abuse her but to let her know what he was doing. If I were her I like to know. Mind you I was not using protection and i have Herpes for several yrs.. He claims he did to but maybe he lied and who knows now how many other women he is with. If someone called me to let me know, I take that as someone saving my health line. I got STD test before we become sexual. He claimed to have gotten one and i found out he printed up a FAKE medical report. mine was real he even came with me to pick mine up.

Last night he texted me and wants to get back with me. telling me that he did not file a complaint because he was in love with me and not his wife and the reason his wife filed a complaint was because she does not believe me and thinks I am jealous of her and what she has.

BTW I am 45 yrs old to those who wondered how old I am.

I don;t know if you are women or men who say i should not have called the wife but, anyone who is being cheated on their heath is at risk.
I don't believe you.
I think this is a phony post.
After starting this controversy, you now say you have herpes and only wanted the wife to know because you are concerned for her health?

Don't waste our time.
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Old 12-27-2011, 09:22 PM
 
Location: Earth Wanderer, longing for the stars.
12,411 posts, read 14,737,944 times
Reputation: 8672
Quote:
Originally Posted by Huckleberry3911948 View Post
very few women date a married man and dont know it. but many date a married man and dont wana know it. the lack of remorse of single women dating married men on CDF is numbing.
it would seem that adultery is now defined as a male defect of character.
I disagree.
The other woman swore no oath to the wife.
The person who is breaking the bond is the married partner who cheats.
Generally, if he/she cheats once they will do it again.

I never get why wives are angrier at the mistress than they are at their husbands.

Also, there are people who do not consider that their outside plaything is anywhere near the caliber of the spouse - that is, they feel an obligation, duty, responsibility, bonding toward their family and would not allow an outside fling jeopardize that.

Not every relationship between any given two people is the same.
Do you think all these cheating politicians are really cheating, that is, that their wives don't know? These people have lives, social standing, and as long as everything is handled discretely, who is harmed? No one.
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Old 12-27-2011, 09:28 PM
 
Location: Earth Wanderer, longing for the stars.
12,411 posts, read 14,737,944 times
Reputation: 8672
Quote:
Originally Posted by mochamajesty View Post
Did you write this correctly? You have herpes, why are you not using protection? And you are upset with him for putting YOUR health at risk? What am I missing?

Did you tell the wife this?
Maybe the drama queen wanted a baby?

Did she want more drama?
Do you believe her story?
Would a normal woman act this way?
Is this a phony post or is she just deranged?

Last edited by goldengrain; 12-27-2011 at 09:56 PM..
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Old 12-27-2011, 09:40 PM
 
1,833 posts, read 1,907,067 times
Reputation: 1603
Quote:
Originally Posted by goldengrain View Post
I disagree.
The other woman swore no oath to the wife.
The person who is breaking the bond is the married partner who cheats.

Wrong. 1)The other woman/man is still party to an adultery and 2)If they know the person is taken and still sleeps with them, they are still just as much at fault.
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Old 12-27-2011, 09:42 PM
 
Location: southern california
53,388 posts, read 67,414,305 times
Reputation: 44979
when u date married guys u already know 2 things, he cheats and he lies. i wont say anything about your behavior, u already know or u can ask his wife.
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Old 12-27-2011, 09:46 PM
 
4,184 posts, read 5,079,254 times
Reputation: 9797
I think it's tacky for both people.
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Old 12-28-2011, 06:18 AM
 
Location: Nebraska
4,179 posts, read 8,455,499 times
Reputation: 9456
Quote:
Originally Posted by goldengrain View Post
Maybe the drama queen wanted a baby?

Did she want more drama?
Do you believe her story?
Would a normal woman act this way?
Is this a phony post or is she just deranged?


11 pages of attention, 'story-unfolding', self-defense, vituperation, and self-justification... Make your own determination.

I did, many pages ago.
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Old 12-28-2011, 02:07 PM
 
Location: Earth Wanderer, longing for the stars.
12,411 posts, read 14,737,944 times
Reputation: 8672
Quote:
Originally Posted by WakaFlocka View Post
Wrong. 1)The other woman/man is still party to an adultery and 2)If they know the person is taken and still sleeps with them, they are still just as much at fault.
I don't think so. I know this forum is populated by those who think differently, but if my husband had a girlfriend I would not think of blaming her.

When I was working, in a number of companies that would be immediately recognized if I named them, this sort of thing went on frequently between married male managers and women, some single, some not. They were usually brief affairs or convenient, a way to break the tensions of the workday, I think.

At first I was shocked - really. But after time passed I realized that these were all nice people, people you would not suspect, and no marriages were ever broken because of it, at least not that I heard. True, some of these women wanted promotions, but on the whole they were not dummies and had balanced dispositions.

I would say that about 90% of the population say that they would never do it, but about 50% do. I just think it's reality and I hate the hypocrisy of society more than the cheating.
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