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Old 12-29-2011, 02:14 PM
 
2,449 posts, read 3,129,198 times
Reputation: 4728

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Quote:
Originally Posted by DayLight1555 View Post
Telling his wife about what he did was your way of avenging yourself. Whenever you do vengeance, expect a pay back. It's the way it works.

It was not nice of you to tell his wife. All it accomplished is hurt her feelings.
Are you posting under the influence? Or did we not read the same original post? What she did was what EVERY normal human being with a conscience and a brain should do in situations like these. Not saying anything gives the man the greenlight to proceed to another unsuspecting victim, not to mention the fact that he could be passing whatever disease he contracts from his strays to his wife. Come on....THINK!!!!
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Old 12-29-2011, 02:29 PM
 
Location: Fairfield County, CT
14,594 posts, read 20,309,775 times
Reputation: 4652
Quote:
Originally Posted by Percentage View Post
I'm shocked at the female response to the OP's reaction after finding out the man is married. Put yourselves in the same position as the wife for a second, are you guys saying you wouldnt want to know about your spouses extracurricular activities that could potentially put your life in jeopardy? Really?

Anyway, I actually commend the "immature & young" OP for having the guts to inform the wife. It may not have worked out in this case but it was still the right thing to do. Dust yourself off and try to erase that bastard from your memory. You have done your job as a good respectable person. Allow his wife to continue burying her head in the sand. She'll eventually come to her senses.

All the best,

%
Agreed, FULLY.

You're calling the OP immature for contacting the wife? What?!!! Sure, she would have been immature if she knew he was married, but she didn't.

I think the OP did the right thing - letting the wife know and planning to move on. The wife is the one with serious issues...
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Old 12-29-2011, 04:34 PM
 
774 posts, read 886,169 times
Reputation: 1419
Quote:
Originally Posted by goldengrain View Post
Not so, at all.

Everyone has their own sense of morality, there own limits of what is tolerable.

I read that from fifty to seventy percent of children in this country are born to single parents. I think about half our marriages end in failure. If some couples want to try something that they think will work for them, they have my good wishes. It is obvious that the traditional situation is not working for most of us.

I hope you have a good and healthy relationship with your mate and that you are both on the same page and that will not vary. You have no right to project your values on others, though, especially when they have proven not to work for the majority.

There are all different levels of relationships. Having sex with someone in no way means you want to marry them and break up your family.

For me it is most important that people are honest with each other. For that to happen we cannot be the type of person who easily flies off the handle and yells and threatens the other.

There are marriages that survive these things, you know, and are probably the stronger for it. We are more than our organs.
I think it's safe to say that the majority of people's "sense of morality" does not include sleeping with other people when you are married. If that's not how your relationships work, good for you, but I'm positive you are in the minority. No, I don't have a formal survey to back this up and don't think I need one.
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Old 12-29-2011, 04:35 PM
 
774 posts, read 886,169 times
Reputation: 1419
Quote:
Originally Posted by Percentage View Post
Are you posting under the influence? Or did we not read the same original post? What she did was what EVERY normal human being with a conscience and a brain should do in situations like these. Not saying anything gives the man the greenlight to proceed to another unsuspecting victim, not to mention the fact that he could be passing whatever disease he contracts from his strays to his wife. Come on....THINK!!!!
I LOLed when I read this because I'm thinking the exact same thing about most of these posters.
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Old 12-29-2011, 04:35 PM
 
4,905 posts, read 4,372,636 times
Reputation: 8347
Ugh, women who sleep with married men are the second-worst (the worst being the man who steps out on his wife). People need to take some responsibility for their actions.
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Old 12-29-2011, 05:26 PM
 
Location: Earth Wanderer, longing for the stars.
12,411 posts, read 15,010,125 times
Reputation: 8680
Quote:
Originally Posted by luckynumber4 View Post
I think it's safe to say that the majority of people's "sense of morality" does not include sleeping with other people when you are married. If that's not how your relationships work, good for you, but I'm positive you are in the minority. No, I don't have a formal survey to back this up and don't think I need one.
This sort of thing has been going on since there were people roaming the planet. When you get married, if you are planted in reality, you will think there is almost a 50-50 chance (or more, depending who you read) that this will become an issue in your marriage. Feigning shock or indignation and throwing a hissy fit just is not smart.

I don't like lying. I think, traditionally, people in marriages lie to spare the other's feelings - and they live with guilt. I have heard psychologists recommend doing this. I think it's insane, pretending to be married and yet keeping secrets from each other. There will always be some sort of mental barrier there. But that's me.

I had an active dating life and so did my husband. Neither of us thought sex would be the reason why we married or what keeps us together. My husband has a friend now who is married with kids and he has a girlfriend on the side. I don't know what the wife does or does not know. I think he is up front with the other woman. They seem to have a balanced relationship. Not every woman wants to marry the guy she dates. I don't in any way think she is trying to 'steal' the husband.

I think, if I were a member of the wife's circle, in a discussion she would say she'd have a fit if he cheated, but people say that sort of thing to friends. People lie. I don't know what she knows or if she's the type to just overlook the situation. It's not my business. I would think it very tacky of the other woman to push this in her face.

I just think there is a civilized way of making the best of these things. Maybe the wife has a boyfriend. People lie about these things.
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Old 12-29-2011, 08:13 PM
 
Location: Bergen County, NJ
1,603 posts, read 3,326,163 times
Reputation: 1837
I'm not even going to read the comments here- is this a joke, are you making it up, or are you that out of touch, you don't get it ?? You have to be making this up. Additionally, I'm willing to bet there is a lot more to this story than being detailed- for her to go to the police .... she probably had valid reasons.

I can't imagine dating a married, or even taken man, let a lone messing with someones marriage, and telephoning the wife with 1 intent: to maliciously, spitefully hurt her and destroy whatever it is they have, which clearly isn't what she thought it was ... WOW, that's demented.

I have zero respect for anyone who cheats, especially if there are children involved, but to purposely go after the innocent party, the wife and hope he leaves her for YOU after what you did ?

It reminds me of that Long Island case years ago - "Amy Fisher and Joey Buttafuco" ... dating a married man, thought he was leaving his wife for her, and when he didn't, she went after the wife, and shot her ... Scary behavior, seriously ...

So sad.
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Old 12-29-2011, 08:20 PM
 
5,506 posts, read 3,709,402 times
Reputation: 4103
Quote:
Originally Posted by XmadisonX View Post
I recently got involved with a married man who told me that he was legally divorced, only to find out that he was lying and not even seperated. I contacted his wife to let her know about the emails, phone calls, gifts and nude photos he had been sending me...and I called her with out being hostile and rude. Well turns out that she went to the police with him and she filed a report but he did not. The Police called me telling me ONLY she filed the complaint and he was with her but did not file one against me. ......... All I did was tell her what he was doing. I dont understand this. I left him and cut him off. I was not mean to her and I dont understand why is it that she only filed a compliant an he went with her and did not. I dont understand it and the detective that called me said he was also confused and found it odd that he did not file a complaint....

I am hurt that they would file a complaint and I JUST got over him and then this was like a extra smack in the face.

I am wondering maybe he did not want to file a complaint jointly is because he wants to communicate with me. .

Your feed back is appreciated.
Welcome to our culture and dating in America...single guys like me are dateless for months on end...then there are married guys like this. There's a serious problem somewhere.
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Old 12-29-2011, 08:24 PM
 
Location: Bergen County, NJ
1,603 posts, read 3,326,163 times
Reputation: 1837
You need to save yourself and get far away from this guy as possible, he sees you are weak to him ....

Don't you believe you can do better ? And, leave his poor wife alone-

Last edited by ImCurlybelle; 12-29-2011 at 09:01 PM..
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Old 12-29-2011, 08:31 PM
 
Location: Bergen County, NJ
1,603 posts, read 3,326,163 times
Reputation: 1837
"I am wondering maybe he did not want to file a complaint jointly is because he wants to communicate with me. .

Your feed back is appreciated."


Hello! She told the wife because she wanted him to choose her and dump the wife ... lol! She's still open to him - Someone is lacking confidence, esteem and self worth. He's a loser.

Sometimes the truth is hard to hear ... especially if you do not want to hear it ... counseling maybe a good option.
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