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Old 01-01-2012, 01:34 PM
 
Location: USA
18,565 posts, read 13,699,944 times
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Good, bad or indifferent, the bearer of bad news always pays the price. When I was young I opened my mouth thinking it was the right thing to do and ended up having both friends drop me. This is the most common human response and always has been.
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Old 01-01-2012, 09:41 PM
 
4,837 posts, read 7,602,256 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweet Like Sugar View Post
There was really no point in contacting his wife. She obviously didn't appreciate your honesty.
She certainly doesn't seem to get the essence of her role!

Given that "all the best ones are taken" why would she want to mess with that?

She's supposed to keep her little secret from anyone who might tell his wife while flaunting it with everyone else. Let those guys her age know that they are not good enough for her - she has somebody much better!

She can secretly pine for what might of happened if she had met him first and what might be if he would only leave his wife, but it would be a sign of weakness to let anyone know now.

When she's 38 and he trades her in on a younger model, there will always be a sympathetic shoulders to cry on.

At that time, she may even try to inform his wife. She was hardly credible now so it is likely that few would believe her then!
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Old 01-04-2012, 06:22 PM
 
Location: Earth Wanderer, longing for the stars.
12,411 posts, read 15,949,448 times
Reputation: 8722
Quote:
Originally Posted by sunshineleith View Post
Let me get this straight: you called his wife to tell her he was a cheater, so he already knows you're a snitch and out to get him. And today he gives you fresh dirt on himself and says he hopes his wife doesn't find out? Yeah. I'm falling for all of this.
Thank you. My point exactly. The story is unwinding like a soap opera. I think we are all being played here.
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Old 01-05-2012, 02:31 PM
 
3,592 posts, read 4,518,219 times
Reputation: 4730
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweetlilac View Post
In hindsight, it would probably be best to anonymously inform the wife about her husband's behavior. I'm sure any woman would want to know, but the same time, protect yourself and your identity, don't assume that they won't put the blame solely on you. And then silently walk away.
Yes. Anonymous is about as far as I would go with that. I can tell there are a lot of single people in this thread because if they were married they would know that a woman always knows when her man is unfaithful. A part of her always knows. He's a married creep. Wife's a volunteer "victim" in denial. (every wife I knew when I was married stayed for the social and financial status of the arrangement). I understand the young woman's anger, but honey these married cheaters always leave clues as to who they are, but you have to pay close attention before anything is given up to them. A man who is long-time married cannot just play a role that he is not, if he can, he will not play the single role to perfection. Rats can be trapped, and often are.
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Old 01-05-2012, 02:52 PM
 
2,890 posts, read 5,159,726 times
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Unless the divorce decree is signed - a person is still married. Once the decree is signed - a person is fair game.

If someone is seriously interested in a person, they will finalize the divorce quickly. Don't set yourself up to be a pawn because they want to test the waters again.
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Old 01-09-2012, 02:35 PM
 
Location: Earth Wanderer, longing for the stars.
12,411 posts, read 15,949,448 times
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Various studies have shown that about 70% of men cheat and I think over 50% of the women.

I think, in part, we are faced with a decision.

Do we want to cling to the old, antiquated customs that obviously don't work for the majority of us, or do we want to consider alternatives?

Clearly, most of us have had sexual encounters before marriage and clearly, both the intent and the result of these relationships was not marriage. If this is the case, why should a person assume that their marriage is threatened when a person has such an encounter after marriage?

Another thing to consider - there was a study of sex and certain religions. People who were reared in religions in which sex was considered shameful and taboo ended up having more sex after marriage. The conclusion was that the taboo attached to sex stimulated appetite. It is possible that making a big deal of an affair may end up making the affair even more attractive.
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Old 01-09-2012, 02:40 PM
 
2,495 posts, read 3,453,165 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by goldengrain View Post
Various studies have shown that about 70% of men cheat and I think over 50% of the women.

I think, in part, we are faced with a decision.

Do we want to cling to the old, antiquated customs that obviously don't work for the majority of us, or do we want to consider alternatives?


Clearly, most of us have had sexual encounters before marriage and clearly, both the intent and the result of these relationships was not marriage. If this is the case, why should a person assume that their marriage is threatened when a person has such an encounter after marriage?


Another thing to consider - there was a study of sex and certain religions. People who were reared in religions in which sex was considered shameful and taboo ended up having more sex after marriage. The conclusion was that the taboo attached to sex stimulated appetite. It is possible that making a big deal of an affair may end up making the affair even more attractive.
Here we go again with these stupid, unsubstantiated studies FYI there are also tons of studies out there that claim women cheat more than men, but do a better job concealing it; so which one do we believe?
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Old 01-11-2012, 01:15 PM
 
3,592 posts, read 4,518,219 times
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I have to wonder what kind of reception does an adulterous woman hope to receive upon informing her lover's wife of what he's been up to?

Does she expect to be ushered into their home, to sit down and share a pitcher of icy margaritas or a bottle of wine with a little pillow-talk-kissntell-girl talk?

Sheesh! Somebody's been watching too much Lifetime Movie Network. The girl's lucky the wife didn't seek some kind of physical retailiation against her.
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Old 01-11-2012, 02:40 PM
 
2,495 posts, read 3,453,165 times
Reputation: 4838
Quote:
Originally Posted by laorbust61 View Post
I have to wonder what kind of reception does an adulterous woman hope to receive upon informing her lover's wife of what he's been up to?

Does she expect to be ushered into their home, to sit down and share a pitcher of icy margaritas or a bottle of wine with a little pillow-talk-kissntell-girl talk?

Sheesh! Somebody's been watching too much Lifetime Movie Network. The girl's lucky the wife didn't seek some kind of physical retailiation against her.
Seek physical retaliation against her? Did she kidnap the husband and force him to engage in sexual relations with her? Don't understand why some women are so irrational. All that anger and rage is being directed at the wrong person. The OP clearly stated she wasn't aware the lad was married. How can you hold it against her?
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Old 01-11-2012, 03:12 PM
 
625 posts, read 1,523,245 times
Reputation: 480
Quote:
Originally Posted by XmadisonX View Post
Anyone who feels that me calling the wife was WRONG... tells me that most likely YOU are a cheater and would not want your significant other to know what a cheat you are.

Ask yourself wouldn't you want to know if your husband or wife was cheating on you? It be odd if you did not want to know this. Since this person is betraying you and putting your life in danger. Only a foolish person would not want to know that there husband or wife is a cheater.

It is not for you to decide if she wants to know this. All you did was ruin this woman's life. What gives you this right? If you want revenge on the husband, pour sugar in his gas tank!

Last edited by jbear182; 01-11-2012 at 03:21 PM..
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