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Old 01-11-2012, 06:15 PM
 
15,836 posts, read 18,481,958 times
Reputation: 25622

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Quote:
Originally Posted by SCGranny View Post
You are either very young, very immature, or must enjoy the drama; not just being in it but causing it. Why else would you call his wife? The non-dramatic response to a liar and a cheat is to tell him/her to FO and die, and to never ever talk to, write to, or have anything to do with him again. You were played. Sooner or later everyone is. Walk away, suck it up, and get over it. Do not respond to anything from either party - husband or wife - ever again. You made a mistake, compounded it by trying to get revenge, and got schmacked. Don't make it any worse.

If you still really believe that he wants to be with you just because he didn't file the complaint, you have more emotional problems than can be solved in a public forum. If you insist on making a nuisance of yourself, be prepared for the consequences of your actions. Move on - or continue to make a fool of yourself by instigating more drama. Your choice.
Couldn't have been said better. OP, you are on the road to a harassment complaint, if not already. The guy is a jerk, the wife is "killing the messenger" He probably told her that you were after him, and denied all you said. Stay away, hopefully this complaint will go no further. But if you delude yourself into thinking their is some hidden significant reason that the "guy" didn't join his wife on the complaint, you are in need of some serious counseling. Protect yourself, talk to an attorney right away. You will need one if the police take this to the DA and the DA charges you. This day and time harassment complaints are taken seriously. Protection orders etc. can ruin your good record, charges like this can effect future jobs. Did you save you emails or communications from this guy?? Did you save the ones you wrote to the wife?? Take all of this to an attorney, maybe a few calls will get this complaint stopped in it's tracks. Hope for the best, lesson learned, hopefully. Keep us posted

Last edited by JanND; 01-11-2012 at 06:17 PM.. Reason: sentence structure
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Old 01-12-2012, 09:07 AM
 
220 posts, read 490,704 times
Reputation: 336
There is a lot of judging going on in this post. I am applauded at the people (especially the married women) basically calling the OP a home wrecker for letting the wife know that her husband was cheating on her. Umm, would you NOT want to know that your husband was cheating?? I know I would.

I don't think it's right to blame the woman...especially when, as stated, she did not know that he was married. He was basically playing her AND the wife. I commend the OP for letting the wife know the truth. It's on her what she chose to do with it. Best wishes to you in 2012 and beyond OP!! I hope you've left this whole mess behind.
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Old 01-12-2012, 09:20 AM
 
734 posts, read 1,403,093 times
Reputation: 870
Quote:
Originally Posted by MzSJP View Post
There is a lot of judging going on in this post. I am applauded at the people (especially the married women) basically calling the OP a home wrecker for letting the wife know that her husband was cheating on her. Umm, would you NOT want to know that your husband was cheating?? I know I would.

I don't think it's right to blame the woman...especially when, as stated, she did not know that he was married. He was basically playing her AND the wife. I commend the OP for letting the wife know the truth. It's on her what she chose to do with it. Best wishes to you in 2012 and beyond OP!! I hope you've left this whole mess behind.
Most women would want to know if their husband is cheating, but I doubt they want to see any "evidence" of it or see the third woman (they would prefer to be given a choice). The way the OP did it was simply out of revenge, with little concerns over the poor wife's feelings.

There are many ways to inform the wife that don't invite drama: sending a typed anonymous letter would be one.
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Old 01-12-2012, 10:13 AM
 
2,495 posts, read 3,454,707 times
Reputation: 4838
Quote:
Originally Posted by MzSJP View Post
There is a lot of judging going on in this post. I am applauded at the people (especially the married women) basically calling the OP a home wrecker for letting the wife know that her husband was cheating on her. Umm, would you NOT want to know that your husband was cheating?? I know I would.

I don't think it's right to blame the woman...especially when, as stated, she did not know that he was married. He was basically playing her AND the wife. I commend the OP for letting the wife know the truth. It's on her what she chose to do with it. Best wishes to you in 2012 and beyond OP!! I hope you've left this whole mess behind.
My sentiments exactly. It is the darnedest thing ever. I now understand why it is easy for some men to get away with cheating. Berating the OP for her method of delivery or motive as if it matters. The fact of the matter is that the wife needed to know. Any sensible woman in her right mind should absorb the info and run to get tested before to ensure she hasn't contracted an STD from her SOs extracurricular activities.
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Old 01-12-2012, 10:58 AM
 
19,081 posts, read 21,215,946 times
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I would certainly want to know and would be grateful to the woman. Kudos to her for stepping up. The backlash onto the husband, OTOH, would be quite colorful.
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Old 01-12-2012, 11:01 AM
 
Location: Utah
1,429 posts, read 1,892,875 times
Reputation: 702
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweetlilac View Post
Most women would want to know if their husband is cheating, but I doubt they want to see any "evidence" of it or see the third woman (they would prefer to be given a choice). The way the OP did it was simply out of revenge, with little concerns over the poor wife's feelings.

There are many ways to inform the wife that don't invite drama: sending a typed anonymous letter would be one.
I would want evidence and to meet the woman in person because I would be divorcing and I would want all the proof I could get.
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Old 01-13-2012, 02:26 PM
 
Location: Earth Wanderer, longing for the stars.
12,411 posts, read 15,954,417 times
Reputation: 8722
Quote:
Originally Posted by Percentage View Post
Here we go again with these stupid, unsubstantiated studies FYI there are also tons of studies out there that claim women cheat more than men, but do a better job concealing it; so which one do we believe?
It could be. I remember, being naive, how surprising I was to see how ofen this occurred in the workplace, and that was just the more obvious cases.

I don't know. I think we should do something with this information. Are the rules of conduct in our society just too difficult for some? Are they really harming anyone?
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Old 01-13-2012, 02:31 PM
 
Location: Earth Wanderer, longing for the stars.
12,411 posts, read 15,954,417 times
Reputation: 8722
Quote:
Originally Posted by Percentage View Post
Seek physical retaliation against her? Did she kidnap the husband and force him to engage in sexual relations with her? Don't understand why some women are so irrational. All that anger and rage is being directed at the wrong person. The OP clearly stated she wasn't aware the lad was married. How can you hold it against her?
I agree. It is the husband who takes the marriage vows. That is part of a deal, sometimes thought of as a legal arrangement. The other woman, you may find morally questionable, but she in no way is as guilty as the husband. I think, if he does it once he will do it again, too.
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Old 01-13-2012, 02:35 PM
 
Location: Somewhere out there...
3,653 posts, read 7,271,332 times
Reputation: 3677
It's clear to see the OP is heading towards becoming, the extreme stalking mistress. I feel sorry for the wife, it's obvious the husband want's to play.
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Old 01-14-2012, 04:31 PM
 
734 posts, read 1,403,093 times
Reputation: 870
Quote:
Originally Posted by MariaKintobor View Post
I would want evidence and to meet the woman in person because I would be divorcing and I would want all the proof I could get.
That's okay too. Some want to see evidence right away, others want to wait til they are emotionally ready or they never want to see them, they all deserve to be given a choice on the matter by the well-meaning third woman.
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