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Old 12-22-2011, 09:09 AM
 
406 posts, read 587,742 times
Reputation: 511

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Percentage View Post
I'm shocked at the female response to the OP's reaction after finding out the man is married. Put yourselves in the same position as the wife for a second, are you guys saying you wouldnt want to know about your spouses extracurricular activities that could potentially put your life in jeopardy? Really?

Anyway, I actually commend the "immature & young" OP for having the guts to inform the wife. It may not have worked out in this case but it was still the right thing to do. Dust yourself off and try to erase that bastard from your memory. You have done your job as a good respectable person. Allow his wife to continue burying her head in the sand. She'll eventually come to her senses.

All the best,

%
I agree with a great many of your posts, Percentage, and this is another one.

Would I have contacted the wife? Probably not .... but I don't condemn the OP for doing so. The OP probably thought she was doing the wife a favor by letting her know what a low life lying scum bag her husband really was. Now, obviously, it did not go well. But if my husband was cheating on me, and a woman came and told me, while I may not have been thankful and happy that my entire world just got rocked to its core, I would never take it out on the other woman........ seriously, sounds like the cheating husband and the psycho wife deserve one another and the OP needs to shake that dust off her feet and walk away.
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Old 12-22-2011, 09:11 AM
 
406 posts, read 587,742 times
Reputation: 511
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dewdrop93 View Post
I think the problem is that many people know that their spouse is cheating somewhere deep inside - but they don't really want to know. Once they KNOW - they have 2 choices - come to terms with it or pretend that it isn't really happening. Regrettably, some people just aren't capable of dealing with such truths. So, instead of being grateful for that knowledge, some people are going to lash out with hostility to protect themselves from really knowing the truth. Some people would rather go on living a lie than face the truth. There is a reason that the saying "don't shoot the messenger" exists. It's because many people shoot the messenger.

However, what I got from the OP is that she is trying to figure out if this married man still "likes" her - like this is some 5th grade romance and they are passing notes in class. Well, he didn't sign the complaint - does that mean he still likes me? He cheated on his WIFE, she filed a complaint against you - leave well enough alone.
I like this post too .... well said.
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Old 12-22-2011, 09:11 AM
 
Location: Austin
4,098 posts, read 5,561,355 times
Reputation: 6640
I would want to know if my husband was screwing around. I think you did the right thing. I'm sorry it blew up in your face.
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Old 12-22-2011, 09:13 AM
 
406 posts, read 587,742 times
Reputation: 511
for those of y'all condemning the OP for telling the wife .... why do you believe that she should not have told the wife? would you not want to know if your SO was cheating on you?? obviously the husband wasn't going to tell the wife..... the OP felt the wife should know, so she told. Why is that wrong?
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Old 12-22-2011, 09:16 AM
 
2,113 posts, read 2,090,634 times
Reputation: 1756
Quote:
Originally Posted by bitterclinger View Post
for those of y'all condemning the OP for telling the wife .... why do you believe that she should not have told the wife? would you not want to know if your SO was cheating on you?? obviously the husband wasn't going to tell the wife..... the OP felt the wife should know, so she told. Why is that wrong?
Good post

I don't understand all the venom towards the OP. Her boyfriend lied to her so she informed his wife about his cheating behavior. The wife may be in denial but at least the OP was honest with her.
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Old 12-22-2011, 09:19 AM
 
Location: Western Europe
56 posts, read 62,471 times
Reputation: 86
Sorry you're going through all this drama. You did the right thing but he probably sweet talked her and she doesn't believe you
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Old 12-22-2011, 09:19 AM
 
12,308 posts, read 14,597,461 times
Reputation: 9431
So sad for both you and the wife.
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Old 12-22-2011, 09:20 AM
 
663 posts, read 843,442 times
Reputation: 940
You must be very young and/or immature. Sure, a lot of wives may want to know what their cheating dirtbag husband is doing but there are probably quite a few who would rather not. Right or wrong, as the messenger, you were "shot." In any case, what did you hope to accomplish? Revenge on the guy by telling his wife? What kind of complaint is this that was filed? That seems strange. There's no point in continuing to remain involved in this drama, even by worrying yourself about it. The guy is a jerk and you are wasting your time/energy in continuing to even think/wonder/worry about it.....those actions won't help you or change the outcome.
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Old 12-22-2011, 09:21 AM
 
Location: North America
14,208 posts, read 8,577,885 times
Reputation: 5528
Quote:
Originally Posted by bobman View Post
I think it's much more likely that the husband is deluding her.

Accepted, she may be in denial a little, but if the guy's a serial philanderer, they can often be extremely charming and totally persuasive

Then she is still deluding herself because this woman basically has told her i have proof to show you. I don't care what my mate said at that point i would go to see.
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Old 12-22-2011, 09:30 AM
 
Location: San Antonio/Houston
30,056 posts, read 46,155,949 times
Reputation: 74738
Quote:
Originally Posted by XmadisonX View Post

I am wondering maybe he did not want to file a complaint jointly is because he wants to communicate with me. .

Your feed back is appreciated.
What that suppose to mean? Are you still interested in him?
There is nothing to ponder, just learn your lesson and move on.
In the future don't believe men that say things like: I am in the divorce process, I am separated, my wife don't understand me, I am married, but we live separate ways etc. Men just say so when they want a little "extra excitement" on the site. They will have their little fun with you, and go back to their wives. A man who cheats on his wife will cheat on your too...
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