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Old 12-23-2011, 07:35 AM
 
Location: Earth Wanderer, longing for the stars.
12,411 posts, read 15,006,396 times
Reputation: 8680

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People posting here are so very traditional. Half of the traditional marriages end in divorce.

There should be a deeper bond between married people than just their sex drive. Sex comes and goes with people. Hormonal changes, pregnancy, illness, medications - there are many reasons why a married couple, perhaps starting out with great sexual compatibility, no longer have such relations with each other.

It is possible that the married couple has an open marriage. She, too, may have romantic interests elsewhere. Maybe they just have a rule that they will be discrete about these things. Maybe she just does not care about sex and allows him to roam. Maybe she is on meds that destroy her sex drive.

The thing is, you have no idea what the rules are within their marriage. You have no right to assume that your value system is shared by this couple. Contacting the wife is ignorant and presumptuous. It would seem that their marriage is in no way threatened by this childish action, and it is this woman who ends up the fool.
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Old 12-23-2011, 07:52 AM
 
139 posts, read 117,417 times
Reputation: 114
Thank you all for your responses. I contacted the wife not to abuse her but to let her know what he was doing. If I were her I like to know. Mind you I was not using protection and i have Herpes for several yrs.. He claims he did to but maybe he lied and who knows now how many other women he is with. If someone called me to let me know, I take that as someone saving my health line. I got STD test before we become sexual. He claimed to have gotten one and i found out he printed up a FAKE medical report. mine was real he even came with me to pick mine up.

Last night he texted me and wants to get back with me. telling me that he did not file a complaint because he was in love with me and not his wife and the reason his wife filed a complaint was because she does not believe me and thinks I am jealous of her and what she has.

BTW I am 45 yrs old to those who wondered how old I am.

I don;t know if you are women or men who say i should not have called the wife but, anyone who is being cheated on their heath is at risk.
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Old 12-23-2011, 07:56 AM
 
139 posts, read 117,417 times
Reputation: 114
Quote:
Originally Posted by HonestOne1 View Post
You were dating him, he was married, and you didn't know it?

That is pretty easy to research. How do you do with really obvious stuff like "it is raining...it is snowing" ?

I'm going to assume your anger proceeds from the fact that there was boinkage. But go ahead and lie and tell us there wasn't.

maybe you should re-read my orig post. I SAID HE TOLD ME HE WAS LEGALLY DIVORCED maybe the caps will help you understand it better.
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Old 12-23-2011, 08:00 AM
 
Location: Lower east side of Toronto
10,576 posts, read 9,530,446 times
Reputation: 9198
The term seduce means to draw someone away and out of a partnership...it is not just sexual...The great darkness about those that seduce is the great glee they seem to get in home wrecking - Once they seduce a husband or wife - they usually dispose of the catch once they have ruined someone elses happiness...If someone is married - stay away from them and do not bring harm to their children - their wife or husband - also for any of you married men out there - Remember one thing...that a person that is willing for their own strange needs - to bring harm to a family - will find it NOT a problem to harm you later on...You are NOT dealing with a good and loving person..You are dealing with a jerk! Who will jerk you off the path towards joy because they will never have joy and want to make sure that other do not - MISERY LOVES COMPANY.
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Old 12-23-2011, 08:05 AM
 
139 posts, read 117,417 times
Reputation: 114
Quote:
Originally Posted by PurePugx3 View Post
You must be very young and/or immature. Sure, a lot of wives may want to know what their cheating dirtbag husband is doing but there are probably quite a few who would rather not. Right or wrong, as the messenger, you were "shot." In any case, what did you hope to accomplish? Revenge on the guy by telling his wife? What kind of complaint is this that was filed? That seems strange. There's no point in continuing to remain involved in this drama, even by worrying yourself about it. The guy is a jerk and you are wasting your time/energy in continuing to even think/wonder/worry about it.....those actions won't help you or change the outcome.
I am 45. and it can happen to anyone and has nothing to do with age or being immature or mature.

she filed a complaint that I called the house with out her approval. that is what the detective told me an that she did not want me calling again. He said in this day an age anyone can file a complaint regardless. I explained what i did and he said that she told him the same thing. I was not rude that I just called to let her know what was going on. He said that the husband would not file a complaint and when he asked him why he would not answer and thought it was very odd since both where there together and the detective said he did not find my actions as abuse but he has to follow up on complaints and must let me know one was filed and let me know not to contact her again.

He also found it odd that I called Aug 24 and she filed a complaint in Dec 20 and changed her number Aug 30 and stated I only called her once. So something is odd and I posted to see if anyone could figure this out.
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Old 12-23-2011, 08:15 AM
 
23,098 posts, read 28,891,602 times
Reputation: 26895
Quote:
Originally Posted by XmadisonX View Post
So something is odd and I posted to see if anyone could figure this out.
The only thing that is odd, is that you might still be considering being with a cheater. Stop worrying about why anyone called or didn't, and get on with your life. You are 45...not 16. Grow up, and move on.
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Old 12-23-2011, 08:19 AM
 
139 posts, read 117,417 times
Reputation: 114
Quote:
Originally Posted by mistym View Post
Hello,

The moment you found out the truth, you should have cut all ties. Why is that women often feel the need to expose the man's infidelity. Why bring hurt to another individual. I believe you were being vindictive because he lied to you so you felt you could get back at him. What did you think was going to happen, she would kick him out... right?... and what does that solve....

As a woman, I think that's very low and disgusting and I'm glad she filed the complaint. When you think about it, you harassed the woman. You went out of your way to find her number. That's just plain evil.

The man is a lying, cheating bastard, but that has nothing to do with his wife. Leave the woman alone. Leave the man alone and go find someone else. You must have known there was someone else. Did he invite you to his house? Did he sleep over? Did he take you away for long weekends? There must have been signs (that you chose to overlook). Your issue is with the man and has been resolved the minute you found out he was still married. Get over it and move on. Know your self worth, Madison.

really how about if your man cheated on you an you never found out but got AIDS or some other STD maybe then you would have WISHED the other woman told you what was going on.


I left him a long time ago and this all of a sudden came back 4 months later with a report from the nYPD. I was invited to his house, I met his brothers who he introduced me to as his GF. I met his boss and his friends. I also went to a few business parties and to a wedding with him NOT KNOWING he was not legally divorced. He would stay at my apartment for days and then moved in with me. He was in the New Mexico Police academy for 6 months and came a few months earlier an that was how we met. and his wife was in NYC. He became a Cop in New Mexico and I also asked him to move out when I learned the truth.
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Old 12-23-2011, 08:23 AM
 
139 posts, read 117,417 times
Reputation: 114
Quote:
Originally Posted by halfabuck View Post
How many times did you call his wife? Did you go near the residence? Could it be a restraining order? Why would you call his wife in the first place? To get some revenge for being wronged. Sorry that happend to you and it happens lots these days. try to move on and forget about it all. It certainly is not worth your time and energy and can only make things worse. There are plenty of nice guys out there. Keep looking and ask some questions along the way. Good Luck!
Like i said in the orig post I ONLY CALLED ONCE. Never sad there is a restraining order.

I feel the other partner should know there health could be in danger. If the person is involved with someone who has a STD.
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Old 12-23-2011, 08:27 AM
 
Location: Wherever women are
19,022 posts, read 23,201,837 times
Reputation: 11309
Quote:
Originally Posted by SCGranny View Post
You are either very young, very immature, or must enjoy the drama; not just being in it but causing it. Why else would you call his wife? The non-dramatic response to a liar and a cheat is to tell him/her to FO and die, and to never ever talk to, write to, or have anything to do with him again. You were played. Sooner or later everyone is. Walk away, suck it up, and get over it. Do not respond to anything from either party - husband or wife - ever again. You made a mistake, compounded it by trying to get revenge, and got schmacked. Don't make it any worse.

If you still really believe that he wants to be with you just because he didn't file the complaint, you have more emotional problems than can be solved in a public forum. If you insist on making a nuisance of yourself, be prepared for the consequences of your actions. Move on - or continue to make a fool of yourself by instigating more drama. Your choice.
Ah, the age old allegations of youth and immaturity from the IHOP senior pancakes crowd

There's nothing wrong in what she did. She called the wife to report and that's what anyone can do.
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Old 12-23-2011, 08:34 AM
 
663 posts, read 845,233 times
Reputation: 940
Quote:
Originally Posted by XmadisonX;
I am 45. and it can happen to anyone and has nothing to do with age or being immature or mature.

she filed a complaint that I called the house with out her approval. that is what the detective told me an that she did not want me calling again. He said in this day an age anyone can file a complaint regardless. I explained what i did and he said that she told him the same thing. I was not rude that I just called to let her know what was going on. He said that the husband would not file a complaint and when he asked him why he would not answer and thought it was very odd since both where there together and the detective said he did not find my actions as abuse but he has to follow up on complaints and must let me know one was filed and let me know not to contact her again.

He also found it odd that I called Aug 24 and she filed a complaint in Dec 20 and changed her number Aug 30 and stated I only called her once. So something is odd and I posted to see if anyone could figure this out.
In your OP you were wondering if your "boyfriend" didn't file a complaint because he may have wanted to keep communicating with you? That seems pretty naive and hopeful to me. If your only concern was to make sure his wife didn't pick up any STD's, there would be no wondering about the ins and outs of his behavior at the police station.

If this guy printed out a fake medical report, shouldn't you now be more concerned about the current state of your own health?

Who cares if the wife's reporting to the police and on which dates is odd? If your concerns only lie with the health issues.....you told his wife and what she does from there is her/their trip. The whole thing is odd, I wouldn't waste any time on it if I were in your shoes.

I agree, her husband's cheating puts her health at risk. So does having sex with someone without using protection.

Drama and immaturity are close cousins. If you didn't enjoy the drama you
would have blocked his number or changed yours long ago. You may not have known he was married but if he can still easily contact you, well then?
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